Holly Hechel

SWoRD Self-Evaluation: First Submission

FOCUS: The thesis of the paper is that the Victorian college experience is very different from the author's current college experience. The examples given to support the thesis are very relevant, but not very creative or original. The conclusion summarizes findings, but isn't directly connected to the meat of the paper. The writer gave examples from his/her own life, but didn't concisely tie them together with the other examples from the text. Rating: 4

ORGANIZATION: I think the paper is well-organized, but more transitions could be used. The introduction has a good hook, but the paragraphs sometimes change subject abruptly. The conclusion could be much more satisfying if supported with more textual evidence from alternate sources.

Rating: 4

FLOW: The paragraphs are rather choppy, but the writing style is definitely clear and direct. There is some fluffy language that could be omitted, but overall it is very easy to understand and concise. Make sure you stick to the thesis throughout the whole paper, not just the first few paragraphs.

Rating: 3