Alana Kalin

Project 1B: September 25^th, 2006

Victorian Literature E375L: Bump

When I was younger I wanted to be an astronaut so I would be able to see and do “everything, everything, everything!” Also as a kid I loved art, all things messy, sparkly and almost anything that led to trouble. These loves still remain and since then I have grown passions for meeting new people, reading, equal rights, facts, museums, lacrosse games, global warming, theme parties, farmers markets, people watching . . . but as the list grew I got further away from anything important enough to declare as my one passion. Then I examined my first aspiration of being an astronaut. I wanted to be an astronaut because I wanted to experience as much of the world, and beyond, as possible. This passion has stayed with me and resulted in experiencing things I never knew of; this was made possible by the desire to live life outside of a comfort zone.

According to Einstein, we are “but a speck in an unfathomably large universe.” (143) Einstein’s statement, juxtaposed with our roadmap projects, which forced us to examine our “place” in the world, urges us to acknowledge the world’s grandiosity and our small place in it. Yet, how much of our place is dictated by our own decisions, “how have we transcended accidents of being born in a specific time and space?” (47) For me transcendence is achieved by experiencing and living in places unlike the place I was raised. Living “abroad” (which is in quotation marks as I use this term loosely to mean anywhere outside the comfort zone) develops a sense of the bigger picture, and allows for adventures; my bliss. Joseph Campbell wrote, “If you follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are . . .” (120) Unlike many others, my passion does not lead directly to a career. But hopefully it will lead to a clearer view of the life I should be living in terms of the relationships I have and the endeavors I pursue, jobs included. This bliss, my passion for adventure, new places and people will continue to help me lead the life I “ought to be living” (120). Constant curiosity enhances and creates a deeper understanding of self in terms of attitudes, ideas, opinions and ways of life.

Curiously discovering this tree: and an exemplification of my enthusiasm

Some of my favorite “Cowboys”

Discovery has always been a source of excitement for me. For most of us, living in Austin is a change from where we grew up. For me, it is the change from life in the Midwest to the South. I continue to be surprised, delighted and sometimes shocked by the charm and pride that I have found in Austin, and moreover in Texas. I could have never predicted that I would go to a dance with a true “Cowboy,” or encounter an entire population that truly believes their state could, and should be its’ own country. In his book, The Idea of a University, John Henry Newman wrote that “when [a freshman] is leaving for the university he is mainly the creature of foreign influences and circumstances and made up of accidents.” (310) I believe it is our duty to play an active role in our own destinies and break from being products of circumstance. This could mean a change of lifestyle as well, as long we are is immersing ourselves in the unknown.

I have taken this idea to a geographical extreme, as my passion has led to many diary entries describing life in Texas, New Zealand and New York City. Living in these places has been as valuable to me as my formal education. Like education and the cultivation of intellect, I believe that choosing to live abroad promotes “sobriety of thought, reasonableness, candor, self-command, and steadiness of view” since exposing new ways of life challenges or entrenches existing ones. For example, after living in New Zealand I truly understood the importance of conservation, as the isolated country’s prosperity and survival very much depends on the unified conservation efforts of its’ citizens. Also, there I learned I appreciate a country so much more while actively participating in the culture, like volunteering and spending time with natives, than touring. Almost all the people I met there exemplified the idea that “life is an adventure,” and had very simple yet exciting lives. Now the excessive nature of the United States seems like a crime and I try to live “minimally” as I did in New Zealand.

Repairing damaged land alongside New Zealanders

Embracing the country’s adventurous attitudes

Living in NewYork could not have been less similar to New Zealand; even so, I kept the minimalist life patterns with me. In the city that never sleeps, I laughed through dinners with everyone from my Orthodox cousins in Brooklyn, to famous singers in the warehouse district. I learned countless lessons on independence and self assertion. Furthermore, I believe that

Rekindling a relationship with Orthodox Cousins

New York belongs to the world, as I could not imagine a more diverse place on the planet. Living amongst a multitude of different kinds of people helped me better understand myself simply by comparison, and enabled me to appreciate my open minded upbringing, far from either coast. Life in New York also opened my eyes to the fact that there are interesting happenings everyday, so never stop exploring. The self awareness gained throughout this process, one of the most important qualities in a leader, provides fertile grounds for cultivating other leadership qualities as well.

During my first visit home November of freshman year, I felt like the student that John Newman describes in Idea of a University, who had a:

"sensation which perhaps he never had before . . . He will perhaps be borne forward, and find for a time that he has lost his bearings. He has made a certain progress, and he has a consciousness of mental enlargement; he does not stand where he did, he has a new centre, and a range of thoughts to which he was before a stranger” (310).

It was amongst a group of old friends, who mostly scattered around the country for school, that I recognized this new dynamism of self that was true for all of us. We had never lived outside Midwestern suburbia; doing so was leading us “to be forever curiously testing new opinions and courting new impressions” (278). My world was broadened by living in Austin for a few months, and it is just a city in one state, in one country of 193 overall. This was the starting point of a lifetime of new experiences and adventures.

I am not implying that living in Texas for a few months made me, voted “most enthusiastic” in high school, suddenly want to embrace life; I’ve always done that. It helped me begin to recognize the qualities and desires that continue to be developed and fed as a result of leaving home two years ago and living in other cultures. As I continue to experience more cultures and people, the smaller the world seems as similarities can be just as striking as differences. While in Israel I forged friendships with soldiers who at my age had experienced tragedies and hardships I could not fathom enduring. Yet these same young adults spent their free enjoying life as I do. Suddenly Israeli conflicts had a face, or dozens of faces, associated with it. I now appreciate that they are fighting because they are products of their circumstance, and it could have just as easily been me in a green suit; serving as a medic or tank commander rather than studying for tests. In addition, I sought out Texans who do not in any way think like I do as I love to hear others stories and engage in challenging discussions. I came to appreciate that I have no right to think that a certain idea is more correct than another, especially if I was not cognizant of their point of view in the first place. How can a person know if his or her way of life is best for them, having never experienced another?

Learning life lessons from Israeli peers

Experiencing and adjusting to life in Bedouin tents in the Negev Desert

Through debate and the continued contact with others I am able to solidify my ideas by both challenging and being challenged. I am coming to resemble an “emotionally self aware leader” who is “candid and authentic, able to speak openly about emotions or with conviction about a guiding vision” (43). Other aspects of living abroad promote leadership qualities as well. It expands human understanding and makes a person “able to get along well with people of diverse backgrounds or from different cultures” by placing that person where he or she is forced to, as I was in the Bedouin tents (44). Everyday while one is outside of a comfort zone one must adapt to the inevitable ambiguities and the variances before them. I have noticed the flexibility developed while immersed in different cultures as adaptability to new challenges becomes a part of everyday life. Also, initiative is gained while abroad, for most likely the new experiences will lead to a desire to seize and create other opportunities as well. Creating, instead of waiting for opportunities is crucial for discovery that is only attained when there is a strong sense of efficacy. People with this sense are extremely attractive because it takes both confidence and verve to know that the individual is the ultimate controller of his or her life and then actually do it.

Ram Dass’s revelation that to “regain perspective, our feeling of confinement as narrow, limited, isolated entities begins to dissolve as we take a few steps back and recognize that who we are is ‘this . . . and also . . . and also . . .’” characterizes results of living in a new culture (160). It allows for thoughts and feelings that you could not have had otherwise. Thomas Carlyle’s solution to dullness and a focus on self is work; mine is experience in new places. In reply to Carlyle’s conclusion of Sartor Resartus where he cries, “Be no longer a Chaos, but a world, or even Worldkin. Produce! Produce! Were it but the pitifullest infinitesimal fraction of a Product, produce it, in God’s name!” (369). I say, Be in the world. Live! Live! Should it seem but the most insignificant action, try it, do it, in God’s name!

Living, Living! Far from Minnetonka . . .

Total Words: 1,840

Without quotations or picture labels: 1,502

Trying it, doing it, in God’s name . . . or at least Israel’s

Notes

1. Bump, Jerome. "Your Personal Vision." Victorian Literature. Austin, TX: Jenn's Copy,

2006. 46+.

2. Campbell, Joseph. "The Power of Myth." Victorian Literature. Austin, TX: Jenn's

Copy, 2006. 46+.

3. Carlyle, Thomas. "Sartor Resartus." Victorian Literature. Austin, TX: Jenn's Copy,

2006. 367-369.

4. Dass, Ram. "How Can I Help." Victorian Literature. Austin, TX: Jenn's Copy, 2006.

153-161.

5. “Emotional Intelligence.” Victorian Literature. Austin, TX: Jenn's Copy, 2006.

42-44

6. Newman, John H. "The Idea of a University." Victorian Literature. Austin, TX: Jenn's

Copy, 2006. 308-317.

7. Pater, Walter. “Conclusion to the Renaissance.” Victorian Literature. Austin, TX:

Jenn's Copy, 2006. 344-347.

All photos are author’s own