The originals:

The Bat and the Weasels

A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded
to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by
nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was
not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly
afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by
another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The
Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat
assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus a second
time escaped.

Moral: It is wise to turn circumstances to good account.

The Bat, the Birds and the Beasts

A great conflict was about to come off between the Birds and
the Beasts. When the two armies were collected together the Bat
hesitated which to join. The Birds that passed his perch said:
"Come with us"; but he said: "I am a Beast." Later on, some
Beasts who were passing underneath him looked up and said: "Come
with us"; but he said: "I am a Bird." Luckily at the last moment
peace was made, and no battle took place, so the Bat came to the
Birds and wished to join in the rejoicings, but they all turned
against him and he had to fly away. He then went to the Beasts,
but soon had to beat a retreat, or else they would have torn him
to pieces. "Ah," said the Bat, "I see now,

"He that is neither one thing nor the other has no friends."

The remix:

Back before man ruled the earth, the animals ran things. People lived in caves, too afraid of tigers and elephants to come out, while bats flew freely through the sky. One of these bats, Rub, so loved his freedom that he would often fly everywhere, no matter the risk. On one of these adventures, he was flying very low and was snatched out of the air by a weasel named Pic.
"Dinner looks good tonight," Pic said through his drool. "This bird looks fat."
"I'm not a bird!" cried Rub.
"Huh?"
"I'm not a bird! I'm a mouse! I am furry and have pointy ears! Look!"
And Pic noticed Rub's mousey features with some confusion.
"That's pretty weird," Pic finally concluded. "Well, brother beast, I will let you go. Be careful no one else mistakes you for a bird."
Rub barley nodded before he was back into the air. Later that very same night, he spotted a moth in a tree barely hatching from it's cocoon. Rub swooped down and lit on the tree branch, hopping toward his breakfast. Just before he reached out his paw, he was snatched up by an Eagle named Je and taken a mile up into the sky.
"Silly little mouse, you will be an acceptable meal for my young," laughed Je.
"I'm a bird!" cried Rub. "I'm not a mouse at all!"
Je laughed and flew faster. "No bird would crawl like a tiny beast. Quiet now, mouse."
Rub struggled but couldn't break free of Je's grip. Suddenly, he had a brilliant plan.
"Let me go! Drop me!"
"What's that?" responded Je.
"Let me go, brother bird. If I am a mouse, I will drop and die. You can still eat me. But if I am a bird, I will fly beside you, brother."
Je was suspicious, but at a mile above ground, he couldn't spot an escape route the little creature could take.
"Alright," he said, and released Rub from his grip. The bat flew around Je, thrilled to be alive and so clever.
"See! Watch me fly!" But Je, thinking of the nest, was annoyed and bored.
"Get away, funny bird. And never crawl like a groveling beast again." And he swooped away.
Rub did not think highly of the advice he had received that night from either bird or beast. What he learned was the wisdom of fitting himself to survive any situation. He learned he could be two things at once and thus double his allies in life.
Shortly after that night, a war broke out between the birds and beasts. This war would go on for many nights, many days, and many years. Battles left turtles and hummingbirds alike dead. But the bats survived. Rub taught them all how to fit into either camp and never have to take a side. The bats were prosperous with Rub's lesson; they grew fat and had many children. But in the end, when the war was almost over and the generals from both sides were negotiating peace, they discovered that they had both been played for fools by flying mice who never seemed around during battle. Upon this discovery, they agreed that their first act of peace would be to punish these sneaky hybrids. All birds and all beasts were told to eat any mouse claiming to be a bird or any bird claiming it was a mouse.
Terrified, the bats fly wildly through the night, scrambling for a place none of the animals could find them. They cursed Rub's name for his evil lesson and learned the real truth, that you can only play both sides of a fight for so long before you were the one they were after. They knew that they had to hide and only come out in the darkest of night. They looked over all of the land, looking for just the shelter, when they noticed the caves. The bats flew into every cave they could find, sure that neither the hawk or the jackal would find them there.
The humans inside ran out of their holes, horrified of the flying rats that suddenly filled their homes. Evicted from the caves, the humans roamed the earth, looking for a new place to hide. But instead they learned to fight the beasts and tame the birds. They had no where to hide, so they made weapons to kill any beast that threatened them. And thus the real lesson emerges from this tale. No good can come of lying, and even less good can come from a pact made in vengeance.

I am retelling the fable of The Lion and The Hare...

One day, a viscious lion with razor teeth that gleamed in the rays of the noon sun was walking through the skeletal burnt woods when he saw the cutest baby, light brown hare with huge blue eyes that smiled at the beautiful day, an adorable puff ball tail and his left ear bent down like the fluffy bunnies in the disney films. "Hey cute, little, baby, bouncing, bunney," said the lion, "I'm gunna eat your head off." Just as the lion opened his enormous mouth to reveal hundreds of rows of sharp, bloody teeth to his prey that cowered and shook underneath the awsome power of the lions jaw, he saw a deer. "Hey jerk, try to eat me!" taunted the deer as it skipped past. It was bigger and better game than the hare and its comment sufficiently ticked off the roid-raging lion. Immediately, he turned away from the hare, which scampered into a hole screaming "Holy #*%$!" He soon realized however, that the dear was much too rapid to catch and went back to find the hare. "My wife's gunna kill me," pouted the lion when he realized the rabbit had also escaped. "It serves me right though," admitted the lion. "Greediness can cause one to lose everything."

Modeled after:

The Dog and the Wolf

A gaunt Wolf was almost dead with hunger when he happened to
meet a House-dog who was passing by. "Ah, Cousin," said the Dog.
"I knew how it would be; your irregular life will soon be the ruin
of you. Why do you not work steadily as I do, and get your food
regularly given to you?"

"I would have no objection," said the Wolf, "if I could only
get a place."

"I will easily arrange that for you," said the Dog; "come with
me to my master and you shall share my work."

So the Wolf and the Dog went towards the town together. On
the way there the Wolf noticed that the hair on a certain part of
the Dog's neck was very much worn away, so he asked him how that
had come about.

"Oh, it is nothing," said the Dog. "That is only the place
where the collar is put on at night to keep me chained up; it
chafes a bit, but one soon gets used to it."

"Is that all?" said the Wolf. "Then good-bye to you, Master
Dog."

Better starve free than be a fat slave.

New Fable:

A toucan was out for his daily forage, feeling awfully hungry, when he came upon a sobbing lemur covered in feces.
“Why are you so sad?” asked the toucan.
Obviously distraught, the lemur responded, “Everyone hates me. Even my mother abandoned me. Whenever I try to make friends with the other lemurs, they just attack me and scream. I’m so alone.”
“You could have fooled me,” said the toucan.
“What?” said the lemur.
“You’re covered in poop,” said the toucan simply.
“The other lemurs did this because they hate me,“ said the lemur.
“In the bird world,” said the toucan “poop is a sign of friendship and appreciation.”
“What do you mean?” asked the lemur perplexedly
“I poop on whatever I like,” the toucan quickly responded.
“That’s very interesting Mr. Toucan, but that still doesn’t explain—“
“I poop on the THINGS that I like, food, cars, friends, anything that pleases me,” The toucan interrupted.
Still confused but interested the lemur replied, “That’s very interesting. I always thought that birds pooped on things out of mischievousness or carelessness.”
“No, no, no,” said the toucan almost gloatingly “We birds take great care in our defecation.”
“I never knew that” said the lemur appreciatively “Can you teach me more?”
Delighted at the chance to teach someone more about bird culture, the toucan replied “Absolutely.”
The toucan led the lemur around the island explaining his daily life and activities along with more bird trivia until the two came upon a banana tree. The toucan looked at the tree longingly, and said
“I love bananas, but the bananas I find are always rotten.”
In a flash, the lemur climbed up and down the tree bringing a bushel of bananas.
Amazed the toucan exclaimed “I had no idea you could climb so fast. “
“All lemurs can,” said the lemur “Would you like some bananas?”
Ecstatic, the toucan replied “Of course!”
After the two had dined, the toucan very gratefully said “Thank you” to the lemur
The lemur replied “It’s the least I could do. Especially after you have been so kind to me”
“Anything for a friend” Said the toucan amiably. “Can you tell me more about lemurs?”
“Come with me,” said the thrilled lemur.
The toucan began to follow the lemur and after a short pause the lemur said,
“I’ve never had a friend before”
“Me neither” said the toucan while pooping on the lemurs shoulder.
The two were friends for life.

You can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.

Aesop's version:

The Ass and His Driver

AN ASS, being driven along a high road, suddenly started off and
bolted to the brink of a deep precipice. While he was in the act
of throwing himself over, his owner seized him by the tail,
endeavoring to pull him back. When the Ass persisted in his
effort, the man let him go and said, "Conquer, but conquer to
your cost."

A willful beast must go his own way

My version:

The Child and Her Parents

A college student, a child of two proud parents and halfway through
college, suddenly decided to break away from the established dogma-go
to school so you can get a nice, secure job, and work for money all
your life. She decided to use her brain to learn to make money work
for her through learning about and practicing real estate and
investing. While the child started focusing on reading books about how
to make profits in real estate and investing and on improving her
financial intelligence, the student's parents pulled their child aside
in efforts to protect her from deep-seated fear of possible poverty
without the a safe, secure job. As their child persisted in her
efforts telling her parents, "Times have changed, so new ways of
thinking are necessary to be successful in this life," the parents let
the child go and said, "Make money work for you, but only at your own
risk."

A willful mind must go her own way.

The Crow and the Pitcher

A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had
once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the
mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left
in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it.
He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair.
Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it
into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near
him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench
his thirst and save his life.

Little by little does the trick.

The Wolf and the Hare

One morning an old, lame wolf saw a young hare. The wolf was starving and started padding towards the hare. But the hare easily hopped away, thinking to himself, “How can that broken-down wolf think he can catch me, one so young and strong?”

A short time passed and again the wolf started after the hare, this time calling out, “You look so tired, so tired, so tired.” Again the hare easily outdistanced the wolf, thinking to himself, “That wolf is a fool to think he can catch anything as full of life as I.”

Again time went by, and again the wolf padded towards the hare, telling him, “So tired, so tired, so tired. Rest would be good, rest would be good, rest would be good.” As before, the hare hopped away, but this time thinking, “How long is this that wolf going to keep following me?”

And so the morning progressed, time passing and the wolf drawing imperceptibly closer: Pad, pad, pad. “So tired, so tired, so tired.” Hop, hop, hop. “How long, how long, how long?” Pad, pad, pad. “Rest would be good, rest would be good, rest would be good.” Hop, hop, hop. “How long, how long, how long?”

And into the afternoon, the distance shortening. Pad, pad, pad. “So tired, so tired, so tired.” Hop, hop, hop. “How long, how long, how long?” Pad, pad, pad. “Life is unfair, life is unfair, life is unfair.” Hop, hop, hop. “I should rest, I should rest, I should rest.”

Evening approached and the wolf drew near. Pad, pad, pad. “So tired, very tired, horribly tired.” Hop, pause, hop. “I should rest, life is unfair, I should rest.” Pad, pad, pad. “Can’t go on, terribly unfair, can’t go on.” Pause, hop, pause. “Time to stop, it’s not my fault, time to stop.”

As darkness fell, the hare settled on its haunches and flattened its ears. He had scarcely nestled into the still warm grass when the wolf sprung.

The hare felt old, worn teeth sink into opposite sides of its neck. He felt himself being lifted, then had the sense of his lower body sailing impossibly far to one side while something like iron held another part of him constant. There was a curious snap, then no longer any sensation from supple muscle, no longer a pulse of breath or beating heart.

Gazing upwards at gathering darkness, the hare barely heard the wolf utter, “I couldn’t give up for you. But I was willing to wait all day for you to give up on yourself.”

THE DOG AND His Reflection

A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in
his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water and took it for that
of another Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He
immediately let go of his own, and fiercely attacked the other
Dog to get his larger piece from him. He thus lost both: that
which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and
his own, because the stream swept it away.
MORAL: You can lose more when being greedy.

Retelling of “The Dog and His Reflection”
Moral: same as original: greediness can cause one to lost everything
One day a boy found a girl who was easy on the eyes and possessed a heart of gold. The two hit it off very well and became romantically involved. But at a party one night, while under the spell two many Jager-bombs, the boy saw another girl who, at that particular time and under those particular circumstances, seemed to be the most beautiful girl in the world. In an attempt to allure this girl, the boy began to hit on her, unaware that his girlfriend had just arrived at the party. She was just about to greet him when he made his move. As he sloppily went in to kiss the girl, she slapped him and called for her boyfriend Jamaal (who happened to be a cage fighter) to protect her. To his surprise, just before Jamaal laid him out, his old love kicked him in the crotch and stormed out. As he laid there being pummeled by Jamaal, he thought to himself that greediness can cause one to lose everything.

The Dog and the Oyster

A DOG, used to eating eggs, saw an Oyster and, opening his mouth
to its widest extent, swallowed it down with the utmost relish,
supposing it to be an egg. Soon afterwards suffering great pain
in his stomach, he said, "I deserve all this torment, for my
folly in thinking that everything round must be an egg."

They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into
unsuspected danger.

A once modest artist named Brit was singing her best song at a local club when a record executive just so happened to walk by. The record executive had signed hundreds of artists before and each musician had exploded into a huge star so he decided to listen. "She is going to be a big star, bigger than any of the rest. I can just feel it" the record exec thought. Believing Brit was the best artist he ever heard the executive offered Brit the deal of a lifetime after hearing only one song. He promised her that she would live in the nicest homes and drive the nicest cars. Everything was guaranteed by the record company upon signing the contract because the exec was sure she would be a hit and did not want to lose her to any other labels. First the executive recorded only the one song he heard in the studios and released it as a single. "This is a great plan" the executive explained to the record company. "Let the media soak up this single and then we will relase Brit's first CD then--bam we're rich!". At first the single was a huge hit and suddenly brittany was famous, but she also became very crazy. The fame went right to her head so she decided to try and shave it off. Brittany thought that maybe if she gained weight, divorced her husband, had nine children and cut off all of her hair the fame would simply go away. She was wrong and so was the record executive for signing her. The executive was then fired and sued by the company for ruining the labels image and losing their profits. He exclaimed, "this tragedy is completely my fault for quickly assuming Brit would be the best."

They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into
unsuspected danger.

ORIGINAL

The Crow and the Pitcher
A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had
once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the
mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left
in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it.
He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair.
Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it
into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near
him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench
his thirst and save his life.

Little by little does the trick.

EXPANDED BY ADDING DIALOGUE

The Crow and the Pitcher
A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had
once been full of water. "At last, some water to sustain myself," the crow remarked upon finding the pitcher. But when the Crow put its beak into the
mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left
in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. "If only my beak was longer," exlaimed the sarrowing crow.
He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. "I guess now is my time to die," the crow said out loud before hitting the ground with grief.
Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it
into the Pitcher. "Hey, that made the water rise, I bet if I do this enough I can raise the water high enough to drink from it." Then he took another pebble and dropped it into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near
him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench
his thirst and save his life.

The Ass in the Lion's Skin
An Ass once found a Lion's skin which the hunters had left out
in the sun to dry. He put it on and went towards his native
village. All fled at his approach, both men and animals, and he
was a proud Ass that day. In his delight he lifted up his voice
and brayed, but then every one knew him, and his owner came up and
gave him a sound cudgelling for the fright he had caused. And
shortly afterwards a Fox came up to him and said: "Ah, I knew you
by your voice."

Fine clothes may disguise, but silly words will disclose a fool.

The Ass in the Lion's Skin Revised by Alle Crouch

One day an Ass was wondering through the thick auburn wooded jungle. Little light shinned through the tall red sun jungle trees; however, a glow from the distance caught the Ass’s attention. The Ass crept closer to the distant elucidation. A sudden “Snap!” echoed from the red sun jungle tree branch as the Ass stumbled closer to the radiant object. The Ass speedily huddled down amongst the tall wheat grass so no one could see him. The forest was silent except for the whistling wind. After a few moments, he peered up from his hiding spot and discovered that the object was a glistening animal hide. “What a grand prize” the Ass thought to himself. The Ass continued slinking slowly through the tall wheat grass so he could get closer to identify the shinning hide. Ten steps closer, the Ass peered up again and identified the luscious hide as the King Lion's. The Ass starred at the smooth glistening coat. “I must have that Lion’s hide” the Ass muttered to himself.
The Ass’s head peeked up from the wheat grass and peered left and then right. No hunters appeared present at the campsite. The Ass presumed the hunters had left the Lion’s skin out in the warm afternoon summer sun to dry when they went into town. “I must have this hide so the rest of the animals and my owner will no longer call me an Ass.” The jungle was almost silent except for the few bird chirps in the distance.
The only challenge in stealing the King Lion’s hide was that it hung upon a very tall red sun jungle tree branch. It was no problem for the Ass as he swiftly jumped out of the bushes and rapidly snatched the Lion’s hide from the tall branch. Just as the Ass grabbed the Lion’s hide the hunters appeared from their campsite. “Catch that thief!” the hunter screamed. The Ass kept running without looking back. The hunters jumped in their off road jeeps but lost sight of the stolen hide and the thief. The Ass’s heart was pumping and his legs were throbbing but the hunters did not catch him as he ran as fast as he could with his stolen prize. “Those silly hunters; they can’t catch me” the Ass hackled.
After catching his breath and taking a drink at the local watering hole the Ass gazed at his stolen prize with great contentment of his recent accomplishment. “Now I can look like a mighty Lion and fool all the other animals. The town will never know that it’s me under the Lion’s hide” the Ass thought to himself. The Ass first put the hide over his head and then slid the remainder of the skin down his back and strutted in his new disguise into his native village town.
“No one will recognize me because my identity is hidden by the King Lion’s hide” the Ass boasted allowed. When he reached the village, the entire town fled at his approach, both men and animals were frightened by the Lion. He was a proud Ass that day. “No one can recognize me” he thought as he paraded down the street in his new Lion hide. In his delight he lifted up his voice and brayed, but then every one knew that this was not the distinctive lion’s roar. The Ass’s owner snuck up behind him and gave him a sound cudgelling for the fright he had caused the town’s people and animals. “Why would you fool and scare the village?” the owner questioned. “You cannot hide your true identity.” The owner remained extremely disappointed.
And shortly afterwards the sly red furred Fox came up behind the Ass and whispered in his ear: "Ah, I knew you by your voice…Your disguise will never fool me." The Ass removed the King Lion’s hide and put his head between his legs ashamed by his foolish deed. The red furred fox reminded him “fine Lion hide clothes may disguise your Ass appearance.” The Ass nodded in agreement. However, the fox quickly added that his “silly words disclosed him as a fool.”

The Ass and His Shadow (Indirect)
A TRAVELER hired an Ass to convey him to a distant place. The day being intensely hot, and the sun shining in its strength, the Traveler stopped to rest, and sought shelter from the heat under the Shadow of the Ass. As this afforded only protection for one, and as the Traveler and the owner of the Ass both claimed it, a violent dispute arose between them as to which of them had the right to the Shadow. The owner maintained that he had let the Ass only, and not his Shadow. The Traveler asserted that he had, with the hire of the Ass, hired his Shadow also. The quarrel proceeded from words to blows, and while the men fought, the Ass galloped off.
In quarreling about the shadow we often lose the substance.

The Ass and His Shadow (Direct)
A TRAVELER hired an Ass to convey him to a distant place. “I want to ride into the wind,” the TRAVELER uttered aloud. As the heat waves intensified riding through the Sahara, the oOwner of the Ass was hanging on by a thread. Suddenly, they approached a rest area. Realizing he was his own shelter, the TRAVELER asked “Are you my refuge” to the Ass? As this afforded only protection for one, a scuffle began between the TRAVELER and the Owner of the Ass. They both claimed it. “Why are you being a third wheel” the Owner of the Ass proclaimed to the TRAVELER? “Its happier riding with me, than being tied down by you” implied the TRAVELER! The violent dispute arose between them as they both proclaimed “I have a right to the Shadow.” The owner professed to the TRAVELER “You have not paid off your share for the Ass, so I am still owner of its entirety, including its Shadow.” The TRAVELER asserted “I am hire of the Ass and thus hire his shadow as well.” “You idiot” replied the Owner! The quarrel proceeded from words to blows, and while the men fought the Ass galloped off.

The shadow began to take off in the sunset. Crawling and gasping for air the two yelled “Come Back,” “Come Back” as reasoning became reality that in quarreling about the shadow we often lose the substance.

Original:

At one time the Fox and the Stork were on visiting terms and
seemed very good friends. So the Fox invited the Stork to dinner,
and for a joke put nothing before her but some soup in a very
shallow dish. This the Fox could easily lap up, but the Stork
could only wet the end of her long bill in it, and left the meal
as hungry as when she began. "I am sorry," said the Fox, "the
soup is not to your liking."

"Pray do not apologise," said the Stork. "I hope you will
return this visit, and come and dine with me soon." So a day was
appointed when the Fox should visit the Stork; but when they were
seated at table all that was for their dinner was contained in a
very long-necked jar with a narrow mouth, in which the Fox could
not insert his snout, so all he could manage to do was to lick the
outside of the jar.

"I will not apologise for the dinner," said the Stork:
"One bad turn deserves another."

Once, in the before-times, Fox and Stork were the best of friends,
and out of their friendship came a wise plan. If that night, Fox
were able to provide the evening meal, and then Stork the next,
and so-on, they would each be able to spend alternate days freely
and without fear of hunger.

And so it went, and for a time it was good.

However, Fox, as is his nature, started to feel that he was entitled
to a greater measuer of the freedom created by their arrangement;
after all, he was Fox, the cleverest one in the land.

And so it was that devious Fox devised a plan to trick Stork into
providing the evening meal from that day forward.

When Stork came to Fox’ home that night, expecting to fill his
stomach with a hot meal, Fox presented him with a bowl of most
delicious-smelling soup. However, when Stork bent to sample the
enticing meal he found that each time he lowered his bill into the
shallow bowl the end would hit the clay bottom before the soup came
even near his tongue. Try as he might, he couldn’t find a way to eat
the cooling food. Fox grinned to himself as he watched his guest
frustrate himself, having finished lapping up his own share quite easily.

“I am truly sorry,” said Fox, “that the soup is not to your liking. I will simply
have to perfect the recipe. Don’t worry, brother Stork! I will make the
soup each night I am to cook so that I will learn how to make a soup that
you will enjoy.”

“Please, don’t trouble yourself so. I’m grateful for the soup, Fox,”
responded Stork. “In fact, I will show you my gratitude tomorrow by
making you a particularly special meal.”

The next day, Fox went over to Stork’s home with great anticipation,
expecting a great feast in honor of him, and as he grew nearer and nearer,
savory scents started to filter into his snout, making his stomach growl
with unmatched ferocity. The meal, it turned out, was a thick stew, which
Stork served in a narrow mouthed jar. When Fox tried to eat from the jar,
however, he found that the mouth was just slightly too small for him to stick
his snout in and get at the contents, leaving him to do nothing but whimper
and lick at the outside of the jar, the scents filling his head and making his
stomach rumble all the louder. After watching this spectacle for a time,
Stork stopped his own careful consumption of the stew, using his long beak
to get at it.

“I will not apologize for the meal,” said Stork, looking Fox straight in the eye.

And from that day on, Fox had to provide his own meals every night, which
he would eat alone.

One bad turn deserves another.

ORIGINAL: THE OAK AND THE REEDS

A VERY LARGE OAK was uprooted by the wind and thrown across a
stream. It fell among some Reeds, which it thus addressed: "I
wonder how you, who are so light and weak, are not entirely
crushed by these strong winds." They replied, "You fight and
contend with the wind, and consequently you are destroyed; while
we on the contrary bend before the least breath of air, and
therefore remain unbroken, and escape."

MORAL: Stoop to conquer.

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NEW/REINVENTION: THE CAPTAIN AND THE FRESHMAN

A talented young man was captain of his high school football team. He was the biggest, strongest and fastest member of the team, and he could throw the farthest and hit the hardest. It was clear to everyone that his athletic abilities surpassed those of any other player in the district.

However, he was content with being the best, and he had no interest in improving. He was the star of the team, and to him, no one would ever be better. In his mind, he ran the team; he was captain, after all. So instead of listening to his coach at practice, he argued with everything the older man had to say. When the coach yelled at him for repeating a mistake he had been told to fix six practices ago, the young man stood firm and reminded the coach of his position as captain and as the player scoring the most touchdowns.

One Friday night, a timeout was called, and the coach gave the captain clear instructions. After loudly disagreeing with the coach, the captain returned to the field only to ignore what he had been told and carry out the play his way. The team won the game, but after it was over, the furious coach let the captain know that he had been removed from the team.

The captain quietly emptied his locker, and as he zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, he noticed the freshman that he picked on from week to week because he was nowhere near as fast or as strong.

"Why are you still here?" the captain asked the rookie. "Why are you still on the team, why are you even allowed off the bench, while I'm out for good?"

Without hesitation, the freshman replied, "The difference between you and me - other than I'm still on the team - is that when Coach has a problem with you, you fight and argue even though you know he will never back down. But when he yells at me, I listen and do whatever it is that he asks."

MORAL: Stoop to conquer.

The Dog and the Oyster

A Dog, used to eating eggs, saw an Oyster and, opening his mouth
to its widest extent, swallowed it down with the utmost relish,
supposing it to be an egg. Soon afterwards suffering great pain
in his stomach, he said, "I deserve all this torment, for my
folly in thinking that everything round must be an egg."

Moral: They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into
unsuspected danger.

There was once a little boy named Johnny who was a huge basketball fan. One of his favorite players was the great Chris Paul. One day strolling along on the way to school he thought he saw Mr. Pual walking along the side path on the opposing end of the road. Without thinking the boy began to dart to the other end of the street to be able to meet him. As he had not looked in both directions before crossing, he was suddenly hit by a fellow riding a bike. Young Johnny ended up breaking his arm and attaining a number of cuts and bruises. He not only ended up worrying his poor mother, but also later found out that it wasn't even Chris Paul who was striding upon the opposite sidewalk but rather just another fan sporting Mr. Paul's jersey. Later Johnny thought to himself, "jeez I was so caught up in the greatness that is Chris Paul, I didn't even think to look both directions in my wanting to meet him; I suppose I deserve this miserable condition of mine."

Moral: They who act without sufficient thought, will often fall into
unsuspected danger.

THE DOG AND THE SHADOW

A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in
his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water and took it for that
of another Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He
immediately let go of his own, and fiercely attacked the other
Dog to get his larger piece from him. He thus lost both: that
which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and
his own, because the stream swept it away.

MORAL: You can lose more when being greedy.

-------------

MATT AND THE ESCALADE

Sitting in front of bright lights and many cameras, a man named Matt sat patiently waiting for his next trivia question. He was on Fox’s television show, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” He answered the $100, $200, and $300 questions correctly, and continued on. The next questions became more difficult, yet he made it to the guaranteed $1,000 question.

“For $2,000; in which time period did the dinosaurs mainly live? Paleozoic, Cenozoic, Mesozoic, or Precambrian?” asked the host of the show, Meredith Vieira.

He didn’t know, so he used one of his 3 lifelines. He decided to call a friend—and he answered it correctly. He failed to know the next answer, so yet again he used another lifeline. With the assistance of the “ask the audience” lifeline, he was able to correctly answer the question. He was now on the $16,000 question; if he answered that one and one more, he would be guaranteed $32,000.

“You look a little nervous Matt. Would you like to go on?” asked Meredith.

“Yes, I want at least $32,000! Or else, it wouldn’t have been worth even coming!” said Matt.

“All right then. For $16,000, How many letters are in Richard Nixon’s middle name?”

He immediately answered, “6!”

“Correct! Congratulations, Matt. Now if you answer this next question correctly, you are GUARANTEED $32,000. Are you ready?

“Yes! I really need at least $32,000. I want a brand, new, Cadillac Escalade with a killer sound system, 22” rimes—the works! Right now I have a lame 2006 Acura MDX. It’s nice, but not as nice as the Escalade... and it’s almost 2 years old!”

“Alrighty... umm okay... well, for $32,000 the question is: In the song 'Blue' by Eiffel 65, what nonsensical phrase does the singer repeatedly sing? Li di da li da di, Da ba dye da ba dee, Da ba dee da ba dye, or Li da di li di da?”

“What kind of question is that? I don’t listen to that type of music. Well, I have one lifeline left, and I would like to use my 50/50. I really want a new car.”

“Okay,” said Meredith, “computer, take two answers away.” (Pause) “You have ‘Da ba dee da ba dye’ or ‘Li da di li di da’ to choose from.”

Matt sat there for about a minute. He absolutely had no clue, but kept thinking about his new Escalade.

Matt said, “Okay, well I don’t have a clue—but it’s 50/50, so I might as well go for it.”

He chose the wrong answer and left with only $1,000. If he would have stopped, he could have taken home $16,000.

It’s unfortunate how people get so greedy... especially for material items.

Moral: You can lose more when you become greedy.

The Boy and the Filberts

A BOY put his hand into a pitcher full of filberts. He grasped
as many as he could possibly hold, but when he tried to pull out
his hand, he was prevented from doing so by the neck of the
pitcher. Unwilling to lose his filberts, and yet unable to
withdraw his hand, he burst into tears and bitterly lamented his
disappointment. A bystander said to him, "Be satisfied with half
the quantity, and you will readily draw out your hand."

Moral: Do not attempt too much at once.

The Man and his Stilts

In the land where people walk on stilts, there was a man who wished to be taller than the rest. He constructed his stilts to be much higher, but when he walked down the street the wind and the height made him sway and continually fall on the ground below. Being tall was important, but the man could not figure out how to keep from falling. One day, a bystander told him, “If you would just walk at the same height as everyone else, whenever you were about to fall you could simply push the person down next to you to keep your balance. Thus, your collapsing problem would be solved.”

Moral: Do not attempt too much at once.

Philip A. Kerr

ORIGINAL FABLE-
The Boy and the Nettles
A BOY was stung by a Nettle. He ran home and told his Mother,
saying, "Although it hurts me very much, I only touched it
gently." "That was just why it stung you," said his Mother. "The
next time you touch a Nettle, grasp it boldly, and it will be
soft as silk to your hand, and not in the least hurt you."
Moral:Whatever you do, do with all your might.

REVISED VERSION-
Once upon a time, there was a man who was particularly fond of karaoke bars. Night after night he would venture to the bars and watch each singer burst out in ear-splitting falsettos to the delight of the crowd watching below.

“I would love to be applauded like that!” thought the man, who had a few self-esteem issues. He had a good voice (by karaoke standards), so he went home to practice.

After a week of rehearsal alone in his apartment, he returned to the karaoke bar, prepared to wow the crowd. He sat patiently in the audience awaiting the perfect moment to reveal his talent. Seeing an opening in the lineup, he took his chance. He walked up on stage for the first time. As he listened for the opening bars of his song, he suddenly experienced a wave of stage fright. “I never knew there were so many people here!” he thought. “What if they don’t think I’m that good?” But before he had a chance to reconsider, the music erupted from the loudspeakers behind him. He had no choice but to go ahead and sing.

“Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world… she took the midnight train going anywhere…”

His voice shook. Sweat broke out on his forehead. His hands shook so badly he almost dropped the mike. Worst of all, no one laughed, cheered, or gave him any sign of encouragement. He finished the first verse, timidly, then ran off the stage and out of the bar. Later that night, he called his friend and told him what had happened. “I didn't know what to do, so I just sang quietly,” he said.

“You sang quietly? That’s why they laughed at you!” his friend exclaimed. “Everyone knows the secret to a great karaoke singer isn’t talent, it’s confidence. In fact, that's true for most singers out there. If you go in there and sing like you own the place, everyone will love you!” The man considered this advice, and resolved to try again.

The next night, he walked back into the bar and right up on stage. This time, he wasn’t afraid. He belted the lyrics into the mike, and within a few lines the whole crowd was on its feet. They cheered, clapped, and cat called at the man. At the end of the performance, he bowed and left the stage, adrenaline pumping through his body and a surge of confidence flooding his ego. When he returned to his table, his friend smiled and said, “That’s right, buddy. Go big or go home.”

The Doe and the Lion
Original: "A DOE hard pressed by hunters sought refuge in a cave belonging
to a Lion. The Lion concealed himself on seeing her approach,
but when she was safe within the cave, sprang upon her and tore
her to pieces. "Woe is me," exclaimed the Doe, "who have escaped
from man, only to throw myself into the mouth of a wild beast?'"

MORAL: In avoiding one evil, care must be taken not to fall into another.

________________________________________________________________________
The Doe and the Lion

The Doe and the Lion

Bambi's mom, the lovely doe, ran frantically through the forest. She hoped that she could escape the hunters who were hot on her trail.

A shot exploded right as she jumped from one spot to another. She wondered why these hunters were after he and hoped that she would live another day.

She was tried and panting, she thought to herself, "Oh why won't you just leave me alone!"

Bambi's mom knew that if she could just escape the hunter, then all of her problems would go away.
She also knew that she was smarter than the hunter and she began to formulate a plan.

Bambi's mom knew of many hiding places just beyond the forest and she contemplated which would be the best. She also knew that the hunter was a formidable foe and that her safe haven would need to be to difficult to access.

She began thinking to herself, "I'm sure the squirrel would help me hide, but I don't think I'll fit into his tree. Or I could hide in the tall grass, but the hunter might find me there."

She began to lose hope as she could not think of a good hiding place; then it came to her, "I'll hide in the cave!"

She continued to dash in between exploding shells and dashed into the cave.

"At last!" cried Bambi's mom, "I'm safe and have nothing to worry about."

Suddenly, she hears a low chuckle, "Nothing to worry about? I wouldn't be so sure." A low voice in the cave declares.

Bambi's mom's face when pale as she remembered that Scar lives in this cave. He is the most evil of all of the lions.

Bambi's mom thought, "I did all of that work to escape the hunter only to meet my end before the lion!"

Then, Scar unleashed a terrible roar and devoured Bambi's mom.

Moral: In avoiding one problem, be careful not to fall into others.

The Ass Carrying the Image

AN ASS once carried through the streets of a city a famous wooden
Image, to be placed in one of its Temples. As he passed along,
the crowd made lowly prostration before the Image. The Ass,
thinking that they bowed their heads in token of respect for
himself, bristled up with pride, gave himself airs, and refused
to move another step. The driver, seeing him thus stop, laid his
whip lustily about his shoulders and said, "O you perverse
dull-head! it is not yet come to this, that men pay worship to an
Ass."

They are not wise who give to themselves the credit due to
others.
___________________________________________

The Groupie and the Band

A GROUPIE loved his Favorite Band, as one is wont to do, and saw to it that not a kiosk or streetlamp or bulletin board or window in all the land was left unmolested by the Image of said Band's flyers.
Such was his zeal that he irritated each and every friend and acquaintance and borderline enemy with much Chatter and Fandom.
Such was his zeal that, though he was unbeknownst to any of the members of the band-- besides being That Guy that seemed to be at every show-- he thought himself an integral part of the act.
So when the show rolled around, with a Pretty Decent turnout and a Fairly Goode set from the band in question, the Groupie took it upon himself to jump onstage when the Band was finished playing,
wearing a Shit-Eating Grin that left no ambiguity about his belief in his own praiseworthitude.
The members of the Band looked bemusedly at one another,
as the Crowd pelted the Groupie with many bottles and cigarette butts and contemptuous words.
"Dude," said the lead guitarist of the Band, after some time. "You're not in the band."

moral: You are not wise, dudes, who take credit due to others. Seriously.

Ajai Raj

The Crow and the Raven

A Crow was jealous of the Raven, because he was considered a bird
of good omen and always attracted the attention of men, who noted
by his flight the good or evil course of future events. Seeing
some travelers approaching, the Crow flew up into a tree, and
perching herself on one of the branches, cawed as loudly as she
could. The travelers turned towards the sound and wondered what
it foreboded, when one of them said to his companion, "Let us
proceed on our journey, my friend, for it is only the caw of a
crow, and her cry, you know, is no omen."

MORAL: Those who assume a character which does not belong to them only make themselves ridiculous.

________________________________

A bipartisan task force/committee for defending America's families was sitting around drinking coffee and doing the crossword, because that's evidently what they do on Wednesdays, when suddenly one of its soldiers for freedom said, "I hate Bush so gosh-darned much I'm about ready to punch him in the face."

Another champion of justice said, "What, you're just going to walk up to him and punch him in the face?"

And the first, somewhat sheepishly, said no, probably not.

A third man of the people said, "That guy should be impeached."

The first two heartily concurred.

"We should impeach him right this second!" said the elected representatives of God's chosen people (Americans).

An older politician, who had until that moment been busy ensuring his six-digit pension, stood next to the table and coughed.

"You," he said, "hate freedom." And he walked away.

And the Washington liberals went back to their crosswords.

MORAL: If you're not actually going to do anything about a bad situation, shut your face.

The Ass's Brains

The Lion and the Fox went hunting together. The Lion, on the
advice of the Fox, sent a message to the Ass, proposing to make an
alliance between their two families. The Ass came to the place of
meeting, overjoyed at the prospect of a royal alliance. But when
he came there the Lion simply pounced on the Ass, and said to the
Fox: "Here is our dinner for to-day. Watch you here while I go
and have a nap. Woe betide you if you touch my prey." The Lion
went away and the Fox waited; but finding that his master did not
return, ventured to take out the brains of the Ass and ate them
up. When the Lion came back he soon noticed the absence of the
brains, and asked the Fox in a terrible voice: "What have you done
with the brains?"

"Brains, your Majesty! it had none, or it would never have
fallen into your trap."

Wit has always an answer ready.

A lion and a fox decided to go hunting together.
“My I sure am feeling hungry this afternoon,” said the lion.

“I too, am feeling the pains of hunger sire,” proclaimed the fox. “What say we head out into the forest and see if we can’t round up some game?”

“What did you have in mind foxy? I’m feeling a bit lazy right now; I don’t really want to do any work to fill my stomach.”

“Well sir, perhaps you need not do any work. What if instead of going on a hunt, we let the prey come to us?”

“What madness are you speaking of fox, no prey is going to come prance up to us and beg us to eat it…you fool, no wonder I am the king of the jungle.”

“Perhaps you are right king. Nonetheless I think I would like to set my trap all the same, if its ok with you? I’ll trick the ass into a false alliance… and when the time is right, it will be goodnight for the poor donkey. If it’s ok with you lion…”

“Fine, fox. If you think there is promise in this plan, we shall give it a try, anything to cease the hunger in my belly.”

So the fox trotted and crept stealthily through the jungle, into the lair of the donkey and his family to propose the truce.

“Greetings good donkey, I come bearing good tidings for all donkey kind. Today is a great day in the history of the ass, for it marks the end of the warring between lion and donkey and the ushering in of a new era….an era of…”

“What are you blabbering about fox? Spit it out.”

“The lion sends word of an alliance between your respective families. What say you ass man?”

“A truce, how glorious, my people have lived in fear far too long, a truce would be magnificent. I can’t wait to form the alliance and unite the jungle, lion and ass, ass and lion, I can see it now,” said the donkey.

“Excellent, I will get him word of your accord, will you meet him?”

“Of course, news this good must be delivered in person.”

And the ass and the fox traveled back to the forest and into the lion’s lair.

“Where is the lion good sir, will you tell him I’m here,” inquired the ass.

“I’m afraid he is well aware of that by now young ass.” Spoke the fox

WAP!!! The lion flew out from the brush and pounced on the poor ass delivering a death blow to the jugular.

“Here is our dinner for to-day. Watch you here while I go and have a nap. Woe betide you if you touch my prey. Killing this ass was a trying experience, I must retire until later.”

“But sire I am starving, twas a long journey from one side of the jungle to the other, I will surely starve without a small taste.”

“You will have not an inkling or suffer my wrath peasant, it was my plan to trick the donkey anyway,” The lion boasted.

The hair stood up on the fox’s neck and he slowly retreated, “as you wish sire.”

As the hours ticked away the fox grew continually restless, his hunger grew with each passing minute and before long he succumbed to the sweet aroma of the plump ass.

Just a small taste won’t hurt he thought. A little nibble of the ass and I will be fine. As he stalked his prey he began gnawing on it and before long the famished fox had devoured the whole brain of the ass. As he licked the ass’s blood from his lips he heard the unmistakable stomping of the lion coming from behind.

“FOX!” the lion roared, “where are the brains of this ass? What have you done with the brains?”

“Brains your majesty, it had none, or it would have never fallen into your trap,” squawked the fox.

As the lion pondered the statement and began eating the rest of the ass, the fox trotted into the jungle with a full belly still being able to taste that succulent ass on his lips.

Wit has always an answer ready…

I am so glad i assigned this exercise--you guys are hysterical. Excellent work, all of you.
~ddd

ORIGINAL:
The Buffoon and the Countryman

At a country fair there was a Buffoon who made all the people
laugh by imitating the cries of various animals. He finished off by squeaking so like a pig that the spectators thought that he had a porker concealed about him. But a Countryman who stood by said: "Call that a pig s squeak! Nothing like it. You give me till tomorrow and I will show you what it's like." The audience laughed, but next day, sure enough, the Countryman appeared on the stage, and putting his head down squealed so hideously that the spectators hissed and threw stones at him to make him stop. "You fools!" he cried, "see what you have been hissing," and held up a little pig whose ear he had been pinching to make him utter the
squeals.

Men often applaud an imitation and hiss the real thing.

NEW:
No Country for Old Elvises

In Las Vegas there was an Elvis impersonation contest that drew a large and enthusiastic crowd of fans. As each impersonator took the stage, gyrating and wiggling his hips, the crowd grew progressively more excited. A wrinkled and obese old man, the last contestant, looked on with disgust. “These chumps have no idea what it takes to be The King,” he said with a snarl of his upper lip. When it was finally his turn to perform, the old man, his belly drooping sadly out of his jumpsuit, slowly climbed the steps to the stage with the aid of a cane. As he creakily moved his hips and croaked out a shaky rendition of “Love Me Tender,” the audience began to boo and hiss. “You’re too old, Grandpa,” cried one disgruntled onlooker.

Later that day, the crowd cheered wildly for the vibrant young impersonator who was awarded the title of Elvis of the Year. The old man angrily thumped his cane on the floor and climbed back onto the stage. As the audience started to hiss at the reemergence of the geriatric Elvis, he shouted at them, “You ignorant fools! You have been booing the real Elvis Aaron Presley!” With one hand the old man reached into his pocket and drew out an authentic photo ID of Elvis Presley circa the time of his supposed death. Then, with the other hand, he reached into his pocket, retrieved a peanut butter and banana sandwich, and took a bite.

Men often applaud an imitation and hiss the real thing.

ORIGINAL:
The Ant and the Dove

AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and
being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of
drowning. A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked
a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant
climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank. Shortly
afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, and laid
his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant,
perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the
birdcatcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove
take wing.

One good turn deserves another

NEW:
The Ant and the Dove

After a long day working out in the field scavinging for food, AN ANT
went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst.
"It has been the hottest day yet this summer" thought the ant going in for a drink.
But as she got close to the water she slipped on a pebble, lost her balance and fell in the water.
Having such a strong current that day, the ant got carried away by the rush of the stream, and was close the point of
drowning because its strong pull,
"Oh my!" exclaimed the panicked ant, "how will i get out of this?
I have children at home waiting".
A Dove sitting on a tree resting after a wonderful day of sight
seeing noticed a little spec in the water. Taking a closer look, the
Dove noticed it was an ant and saw that it was having trouble
keeping afloat in the strong current. "That ant doesn't look so good,
I should help her out, but how?" thought the Dove.
The dove unable to swim and overhanging the water plucked
a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her, "Grab onto this" yelled the Dove.
The leaf fell close enough and the Ant climbed onto it and floated in safely to the bank.
"Thank you Dove for your help!" said the tired Ant, "I don't know how I was going to get out of that one with out your help."
Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, looking up he noticed
a beautiful dove and thought "that is a bird worthy of my collection, I shall catch it."
Thinking of a plan on how to trap the dove the birdcatcher laid
his lime-twigs for the Dove to get close enough to catch. The Dove,
which sat in the branches above the birdcatchers head, didn't notice a thing.
The Ant, perceiving his design though "that sneeky birdcatcher, I cannot allow him to capture my savior."
With quick thinking the Ant stung him in the foot as hard as she could, "this should do it."
"Ouch!" yelled the birdwatcher in pain as he threw down the twigs. The noise made the Dove take wing.
After looking back a little scared, the Dove saw what had happened and thanked the Ant for his courage.

One good turn deserves another

Anadeli De Jesus

Jessica, you get extra points for courage, for being the first to brave this new territory. And you've done a fine job. Congrats. ~ddd

ORIGINAL:
The Dog and the Wolf

A gaunt Wolf was almost dead with hunger when he happened to
meet a House-dog who was passing by. "Ah, Cousin," said the Dog.
"I knew how it would be; your irregular life will soon be the ruin
of you. Why do you not work steadily as I do, and get your food
regularly given to you?"

"I would have no objection," said the Wolf, "if I could only
get a place."

"I will easily arrange that for you," said the Dog; "come with
me to my master and you shall share my work."

So the Wolf and the Dog went towards the town together. On
the way there the Wolf noticed that the hair on a certain part of
the Dog's neck was very much worn away, so he asked him how that
had come about.

"Oh, it is nothing," said the Dog. "That is only the place
where the collar is put on at night to keep me chained up; it
chafes a bit, but one soon gets used to it."

"Is that all?" said the Wolf. "Then good-bye to you, Master
Dog."

Better starve free than be a fat slave.

NEW, PARALLEL STRUCTURE/INVENTION:

A man is playing guitar on the sidewalk, freezing and hungry, with his case open for anyone's spare change to fall. A man walks by and throws some coins in. Suddenly his steps trace back to the musician.

"Ah, friend," Said the Man, "Is that you?"

The musician looks up and sees the familiar face of an old school friend.

"Still playing guitar I see." Declares the Man. "Are you still writing your songs?"

"Yes" replied the musician. "Though it doesn't really pay the bills. Have you kept up with it?"

"Actually, yes. I got a job at a label and make quite a pretty penny writing songs for them. They are always looking for new talent. Why don't you swing by tomorrow and I'll see what I can do for you. It's two blocks over, 500 E 4th."

The next day the musician steps into a grand building with gleeming floors and high ceilings decorated with lights. He walks up to the front desk and mentions his appointment. He is led to the small office of his friend. He notices papers sprawled about the desk. In fact, the desk is so entirely covered with paper that the desk is barely visible. The Man is bent over them, writing.

The Musician takes off his jacket and inquires amiably, "Busy writing songs?"

"Oh, no. Contracts." Replied the Man.

The musician is a bit surprised. "All those are contracts?"

"Yea. Sometimes I think half my time is spent writing contracts," Laughs the Man.

"May I ask what you're signing?" Said the Musician.

"Sure. You'll be in the business afterall. This one is pretty standard. I have to write a certain number of songs in the time period given. If I don't produce enough they withhold payment."

"Oh, I see." The Musician puts on his jacket. "Well, then I must go. Have a good day."

The musician walks two blocks down, takes out the guitar, places the open case on the ground, and begins to play.