Midterm Learning Record

Spring 2006 – Professor Bump

Anh Nguyen

I believe that we all must eventually come to a point in our lives where we try to figure out what we want in life and what we expect from ourselves. It was the time when I first entered college that initiated my reflections of my life and future. But what I did not ponder about upon entering college was my growth and development as a writer, reader, and most of all, as an individual. Growing up I have come to a realization that everyone thinks differently and that people must take on different journeys during their life, one which will hopefully constitute a better inner-being. These different paths that we take create individuals out of each and every person, yet in a way, unify us as a whole. The journey we all took here to the University of Texas at Austin could be seen as a common path that brought us together as a whole. Here we are, all connected physically with one another at the rooftop of one of the finest business schools in the country, looking and most likely feeling different, yet still in connection with each other because of our school.

Nevertheless, the pilgrimage that I am taking is not an adventure which focuses on where I am going physically. Instead, it is the journey for truth that I am constantly searching for, which may one day direct me to my purpose in life. Some people might feel that not knowing every single event and consequence in their lives is what keeps them carefree and content. A child speaks, “as long as we go on feeling this mystery we feel free and full and happy and we feel and act free and full and happy to others. This is the secret of being happy” (186). This quote best refers to the saying, “ignorance is bliss.” I can certainly see why not knowing certain things can ease a person’s mind, thoughts, and worries. For instance, I know for a fact that I did not want to read some of the comments made from other students on my evolution paper at first, because I was afraid of knowing what other people thought about my particular view on evolution. I do realize that critiques are supposed to help us improve in writing, but I was worried that I would read critiques that would somehow create tension between me and others who opposed my ideas. For this reason, I felt very much at ease to simply not know the “truths” of other people’s opinions due to my personal fear of rejection. However, I feel that I cannot increase my knowledge of the world and the people around me if I block out different opinions, even if those ideas clash with my own. Additionally, I feel that I have deprived myself of various viewpoints and truths that could possibly allow me to contribute to society one day.

My journey of meditation and self-rumination began when we were assigned to make road maps of our lives. The creation of my road map was the beginning of my journey to truth and self-discovery. We use these maps to “look for the experiences and changes, the turning points, triumphs and crashes, dark nights and mountain peaks we each have” during our lives (294). Illustrating significant events in my life on paper allowed me to see important moments that I failed to notice before, such as the impact and effects these certain places had on me. Displaying my life experiences for everyone to see made me realize that “if we’re only seeing one part of the picture about ourselves, positive or negative, that’s all we’ll be able to make real to anybody else” (155). When I looked into other people’s adventures as well as my own from an outside perspective, it occurred to me that I was only “only seeing one part of the picture about [myself].”

Furthermore, I reflected on my personal writing and learning styles. During this time, I became more aware of the many things I needed to improve as a writer. The in-class writings and discussion board assignments aided me in perfecting my writing skills. Not only did I continue to write a good amount of information, but I now found myself recalling all the critiques and comments I received from previous assignments, such as the evolution paper. I remembered these comments and made sure that I did not make the same errors as before. At the start of the course I never realized the many problems I

had with writing or learning, because my egotistic self insisted that my writing skills were good enough to get the grade I wanted. “So often we deny ourselves and others the full resources of our being simply because we’re in habit of defining ourselves narrowly and defensively to begin with” (154). When it comes to “thinking outside the box,” I must admit this quote defines me quite accurately. I do find myself thinking very narrow-mindedly on other ideas that I was not in the “habit” of thinking about before. Again, the much debated topic on evolution was a subject I do not think about on a regular basis. So when we were assigned to read other people’s papers, I remembered thinking that other students’ ideas and opinions on evolution were absurd, and I even got defensive when people opposed my idea. Little did I know that my narrow-mindedness kept me from grasping the many notions and new information on evolution that I was not aware of before, but slowly and fortunately, I opened my mind up to other perspectives even if it opposed to my own view.

Another illustration can be seen when I sat around the turtle pond. I found it slightly difficult to really “connect” with nature and even harder to write about the feelings I had with nature, considering I didn’t have any. I suppose the difficulty came from the fact that I do not typically sit out in the wilderness and think about my connection and feelings with nature. I could not seem to fight the narrow-mindedness of my mind, and think that this connection with nature at a turtle pond was impossible. In fact, I found myself just sitting there the majority of the time and pondering about what I think I should be feeling, but never really gaining a significant connection.

Looking back on my different meditation attempts, I know this problem has occurred before. As mentioned in my previous learning record, my experience at Waller Creek produced a similar situation like the one at the turtle pond. The only difference was I actually tried to concentrate on the connection with nature at the turtle pond, whereas at Waller Creek, I played with rocks to ease my boredom. Unfortunately, changing my mentality from doing whatever it takes to keep me awake into a sudden epiphany of nature cannot occur overnight. Nevertheless, one of my goals is to continue to improve this skill of concentrating and not engaging myself with distractions around me. Accomplishing this goal took a lot longer than I had planned; however, I feel that I am gradually learning to focus more attention towards nature and my inner thoughts than on my surrounding environment.

As much as I had trouble deeply concentrating in nature, I must admit my visit to the Botanical Garden was a surprisingly different experience. The truth I recognized sitting in the garden was a spiritual sense of hardship and dedication from Taniguchi when building this garden with his own hands. And of course it will be different for every individual, but I feel that the garden’s beauty really gave me a sense of truth and inner peace. The abundance of flowers and trees arranged in a decorative fashion helped me reflect on my thoughts. I chose to sit on an uncomfortable stone slab which made my concentration falter. But once my mind started to focus, all the distractions disappeared. I even recalled a young child running by laughing hysterically, yet my mind was completely focused and my eyes never left the page. Although we all might feel comfortable in different surroundings, I feel that perhaps it is the environment in which we feel our “sense of place,” that brings out the best in us. And I believe that through the beauty and spiritual sense of sacrifice from Taniguchi, this garden definitely brought out an inner peace and contentment in me.

Moreover, since my last learning record, I felt like I have greatly improved in expanding my knowledge of other people. Instead of concentrating on my own needs and ideas like I have always done before, my interest in other students’ opinions gradually increased. I began to realize that restricting myself from other students and their opinions did not benefit me at all, but rather it concealed the hidden truths of the real world. Without knowing the truths of other individuals, it was impossible for me to grow into a more mature and knowledgeable student. In a way, I felt that I had blocked out many different, yet extraordinary ideas and values that could have possibly influenced me to contribute a greater good to all of humanity. Therefore, the truth that I seek involves finding my true self that will potentially benefit not only me, but all of society.

It is evident that the students in this class each have their own opinions and personal morals that make them who they are today. Although we all differ in our own ways, we continue to help one another, learn from each other, and grow together to form a common bond that creates life in all of us. In essence, we are all individual branches that mature together and ultimately bloom into what we call the “tree of life.”

Overall, I never realized how hard it was to just open up my mind to more than the morals and ideas I grew up with, more than what I was taught in the past. But then again, I suppose this is why we take these journeys in the first place -- to find out something more than what we already know and believe. It is during these pilgrimages that we can possibly free ourselves from the fallacies of life, and help us discover our thoughts and true character that will ultimately bring to surface our inner truths.

Word Count

Words: 1,732 – 107 = 1,625

Quotes: 107 words

Words taken out: 142 words

New Additional Words: 503 words

Final Words: 1,625 words

Midterm Updated list of Goals

1. Doing as well as I can on projects and assignments: I feel like I have been doing my best on writing assignments and other projects. Therefore, this is no longer a “goal” I hope to achieve, because I think I have accomplished not being lazy and doing the best I can already. I guess the only update on this goal would be my desire to have this kind of attitude throughout the rest of the semester. (updated from previous “updated” list of goals #1)

2. Contribute MORE in Group Discussions: I do not want to revise this goal, but I just want to continue to try to accomplish this. It seems like I do not have many opportunities to do this, because of all the nature walks and such. But when the time arrives, I want to keep trying to voluntarily input my ideas and thoughts with the rest of the class. (updated from previous “updated” list of goals #2)

3. Expand my knowledge with other people: I find myself interacting with other students more often now and actually discussing certain ideas and topics. I really enjoy that and I want to continue to gradually increase my knowledge of other students. Therefore, this updated goal is just the desire to continue learning about other individuals and hopefully, I will learn something new during the process. (updated from previous “updated” list of goals #4)

4. As for my goals from my original list:
1. Lessen my fear of speaking in front of others
2. Listen more attentively when others are speaking
3. Improve my writing skills
4. Turning all assignments and projects in on time

I felt like I had pretty much accomplished these goals that were listed in my first “List of Goals.” Therefore, this Midterm List of Goals do not include these anymore, but instead, it includes the goals that I feel I can still improve on.

Goals in this course – 1^st list

1. Turning all assignments and projects in on time – I tend to procrastinate A LOT, especially when it comes to reading and writing assignments. I have been trying to improve this skill for a pretty long time, yet I can’t seem to quit procrastinating. So again, I will try harder in this course to turn in my projects and writing assignments promptly. This goal would definitely help me improve on my time-management skills.
2. Making an A in all assignments and projects – This goal is quite typical of any student I believe. I want to make all A’s in all my work to hopefully get an A in the course and to know for myself that I did well.
3. Improve my writing skills – Since this is only my second semester as an English major, I still have trouble with my writing. Therefore, I see any writing course as an opportunity for me to improve my writing skills. I would like to succeed in this goal because, not only will good writing skills result in good grades but it will help me greatly for future assignments.
4. Contribute more in group discussions – When it comes to class discussions and contributing my thoughts to the class or other people, I tend to hold back. I’m not sure why, but I realize that expressing my thoughts is important in the real world. I feel that speaking my thoughts and ideas could possibly make a difference in someone else’s mind, or perhaps, open a new perspective for someone. Therefore, I want to improve on that as well.
5. Lessen my fear of speaking in front of others – I have never enjoyed speaking in front of an audience. Even in the classroom with only twenty-something people, I find it difficult. Not only do I get shaky, but I tend to forget about a lot of the things I want to say when I’m nervous. But I know in the long run, I will inevitably have to deal with public speaking. I hope this class will give me that opportunity and courage to reach this goal.
6. Listen more attentively when others are speaking – Another fault I have when it comes to English classes is that I tend to doze off when someone talks. This is really bad for me because once I realize that someone is saying something important, it’s too late. So, I would definitely try to listen more carefully when others are speaking.
7. To learn how to operate a Mac Computer – I know it may be easy for some people, but those computers are just confusing for me. It has no buttons anywhere and all the icons are not titled, making it more difficult to adapt to. I want to learn how to use this computer efficiently.
8. Expand my knowledge of the world around me – Some people may find it simple to go outside and just “learn” about our environment and how humans relate to nature, but I don’t think it’s that easy. I would like to see the wonders and the effects nature and the modern world has on me, rather than just sitting in a classroom and read. This way, not only will I improve on reading and writing in this course, but I will also interact with the world around me, making this course even more valuable.

An “updated” list of goals 2/9/06

1. Doing as well as I can on projects and assignments: This goal is updated because this specific class as no real letter grades when it comes to assignments and projects. Therefore, I just wish to receive as much credit as I can and deserve. (updated from previous Goals List #2)

2. Contribute MORE in group discussions: I want to revise this goal because I want to join or express ideas during group discussions willingly. By that, I don’t want to be called on because I am a “sleeper.” Instead, I really want to work on participating because I want to, and I think this can be accomplished through the next couple group discussions. (updated from previous Goals List #4)

3. Learning how to use a MAC computer: I actually do not need to learn how to use the MAC computer anymore because I get pretty good practice in one of my labs. We use the MAC computer for an hour and I feel like I am well acquainted with the programs now. (updated from previous Goals List #7)

4. Expand my knowledge with other people as well: I still want to continue to expand my knowledge of the world around me, but in addition, I also realized, I want to expand my knowledge of the people around me. I find people quite interesting these days and I would like to see even their relations to everyone else. (updated from previous Goals List #8)

The rest of my goals still remain the same. The only thing I would like to do

now is continuing trying to accomplish those goals as soon as possible.