Reviewer 2
I felt that the author did a great job establishing a purpose of the paper in the first paragraph. I felt that the thesis was simply that Father Time (or Little Jude) was an outlet Hardy used to express “human error, futility, and mortality.” The details throughout the paper supported the thesis strongly. Specifically, I felt the author did a fantastic job relying on quotes and working them seamlessly into to the text through paraphrasing and embedding.

OF the three parts of the thesis statement, I did easily find human error and morality. However, I did not see futility strongly supported. For example, the verbal and visual rhetoric masterfully demonstrated the association between death and little Jude exposing the theme of morality of the novel. Yet, futility is not discussed as much or it is implied in way that I do not see.

One other aspect that I felt affected the flow was the punctuation. Here are some examples with explanations.

1. “Father Time is the first half we are introduced to, as he sits on the train headed first to Arabella, then directly to Jude.”
a. This sentence seems awkward because of it content and it punctuation. It seems to imply that father time is sitting and heading somewhere at the same time? Moreover, the last half of the sentence joins two independent clauses with a comma.

2. “impersonal quality—the movement of the wave”
a. Dashes are tough to use. A dash is supposed to be stronger than comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parentheses. I do not think that the above dash is appropriate here.

3. “He does not merely act as a child to Sue, but rather as a mentor to Sue, teaching her what she could never come to terms with on her own.”
a. The thing about this sentence is simply. The author is obviously a skilled writer who was pressed for time, facing a deadline, and crippled by two thousand rules (cheers). The second mention of Sue is excessive. Replace the second “to Sue”, and the sentence is perfect

Reviewer 3
Thesis: “Human error, futility, and mortality all weighed heavily upon Hardy’s aging mind as he wrote the last of his novels in the 1890s. These themes are made apparent in many ways, especially through Father Time, the enigmatic son of Jude Fawley and Arabella Donn.”

Reviewer 4
There does appear to be a very clear purpose; one that holds well to the thesis, which I presume to be as follows, "Human error, futility, and mortality all weighed heavily upon Hardy’s aging mind as he wrote the last of his novels in the 1890s. These themes are made apparent in many ways, especially through Father Time, the enigmatic son of Jude Fawley and Arabella Donn." The first three body paragraphs relate to the thesis, but focus on the storyline. Maybe you could elaborate on the relevance of these paragraphs to the thesis, or expand your current explanations. Also, in the paragraph following figure 3, you might want to explain how infertility is related to the symbol of Father Time. Since you are talking about Jude, it is obviously wonderful that you cite "Jude the Obscure".

Organization
Reviewer 1
All of the paragraph indentations were correct, as were the footnote links and the working photos. The pictures corresponded to the author’s writing and helped in creating a better feeling of his words. The subheadings under pictures are rightfully captioned.

Reviewer 2
The organization, structured tightly around the thesis statement, begins with a brief introduction to Little Jude and then proceeds to discuss the two halves of his character. The Author does a good job conjuring out the essence of Father Time v. Little Jude. Ultimately, the author closes strong with a good summation at the end.

The visual rhetoric is well placed and explicit discussed in the text. I felt that the visual rhetoric aided the story and gave it a extra step of emotion that would have been absent. The picture selection was intriguing and I felt that the captions (along with the discussion in the text) were solid.

Reviewer 3
I really enjoyed the thesis of the paper and the way it was presented. I have no complaints about your focus or organization. They were presented and executed nicely.

Reviewer 4
The paper is well-organized, but lacks a few transitions between paragraphs, particularly in the first few paragraphs. The introduction is concise and clear. The paragraph beginning with the words "This reasonable..." might be better as a part of another paragraph (perhaps the one previous) as opposed to its current separation. You may want to quote the exact passage that the dead rose image relates to, either in the caption or within the related paragraph so that the reader is clear as to what you refer. Otherwise, the pictures are well-positioned and explained in the text and captions. The conclusion serves its purpose well and without ambiguity or regurgitation of the introduction. The introduction intrigues the reader, especially since the topic is a character of seemingly minor importance.

Flow
Reviewer 1
This paper flowed from one paragraph to the next. Each sentence had an impact on the paragraph as a whole, just as the paragraphs drew the whole picture of the paper. All of his reasoning made sense, which the author backed up with evidence from the literature. I did not find any punctuation errors and found this paper to be immaculately written.

Reviewer 2
The transition from paragraph to paragraph was good, however the flow stopped in a few spots due to the ubiquitous use of the passive voice and questionable word choices.

I counted the use of the passive voice eleven times through out the paper. I struggle with this rule too so I will try and explain things that I have recently heard about my own writing.

The active voice is more direct than the passive. The habitual use of the active voice will give you forcible writing.

For example, “This name was given to Father Time by Jude and Sue, in a further attempt to prolong Jude’s life beyond his death,” is in the passive form.

Instead, change this sentence around to active in this fashion “Jude, in an attempt to prolong, life beyond his death, gave Father Time the name.

Now, the word choice in spots seems somewhat excessive. I know this is going to sound contradictory to everything you have leaned in college to this point, but try to avoid using fancy words. Do not be tempted by the fifty-dollar word when the 10 cent word will work.

For example: “The other half to this sagacious creature is Little Jude, affectionately Juey, a boy who appears to be like any other.”

Wise works better than sagacious here. Why? Well, I really do not think there is a rule that will explain this. I can tell that Anglo-Saxon words generally digest easier than Latin words and make the readability much easier and enjoyable. A writer that says something truly profound in an easy way is a great writer.

Reviewer 3
“Due to her parents’ hard times in Australia, they, who had been taking care of Father Time, sent him back to Arabella, who then forwarded him to Jude, who she feels is in a better situation to take care of the child.” Sound just a little awkward. Maybe break down the sentence or rearrange it so it’s easier to read?

“While he may be able to view the beauty in both concrete objects as well as general situations, he cannot help but know that all beauty will fade over time, leaving mere disappointment and longing in its stead.” I really liked this sentence. It reminds me of Buddhism—happiness comes in stages, but suffering is inevitable.

“This can be seen as Father Time ruining Jude’s hopes to live through his current children; because this is the catalyst for Sue’s spiritual revelation, which ultimately leads to her leaving him, it can also be seen as a symbolic castration, preventing him from having any more children.” This is another sentence that seems slightly awkward, but does not break the flow of the paper.

You slip into second person when you say, “To answer this, we must look at the interactions between Sue and Little Jude, and how they impact Sue as a character.” Try to keep it in third person. Also, in regard to this sentence, it is brave to ask a question in a paper, but you did it nicely. I like how you suggested the question in the paragraph before this and how you carried out of the answer.

Reviewer 4
There is definitely smooth flow between the paragraphs, but a few minor transitions wouldn''t hurt. I found the writing style to be very easy to understand and sophisticated and at a level that is appropriate for the course; it isn''t overly flowery or dumbed down at all. I didn''t find any fluffy sentences or padding of the paragraphs with excess information; all sentences are relevant to the topic and relate back to the thesis. I especially enjoyed the references to Chronus and the Grim Reaper; I felt that they added support and insight to the topic, as well as an interesting tidbit and connection that I hadn''t thought of before.