Pattern of Conversion
Pilgrimages
We make many pilgrimages in life. For some, their pilgrimage is to a holy city.
Muslim Pilgrimage to Mecca[1]
For others, it is just a long commute to the office. To Tennyson, a pilgrimage is a metaphor for life, Òlife was a sea journey over troubled waters, a pilgrimage which demanded fortitude of spirit and steadfast defiance of the laws that seemed to condition manÕs ineluctable free willÓ[2].
I wouldnÕt say that IÕve ever been on a pilgrimage. The word seems to connote that the destination is desired; that it is hard to get there, and that once you get there, everything is right in the world. The closest IÕve come so far to making this kind of journey will be this spring break: IÕm taking a greyhound bus to Denver to see my boyfriend. IÕve never been there before, and 22 hours is a long bus ride, but I know that when I get there, I will have a good time meeting the people IÕve heard him talk about for the last 3 years.
Faith
Faith is a dangerous thing. ItÕs a buzzword in our culture and always has been. Many college students use this time away from parents and obligations to find faith, be it rekindling an old one or beginning a new one. But faith is more than just religious belief; it is also a strong force in the making and breaking of relationships, government, and also, college in general. I have to have faith that the grading done by the professors in any of my classes is accurate, especially if they have no rubric or point break-down in their syllabus. Buckley speaks of religious faith in the Victorian era, ÒAll conversion thus depended ultimately upon some faith in the immanence of spirit, whether the fullness of realization lay in Ôone far-off divine eventÕ or in Ôthe imperishable dignity of man.ÕÓ[3] In a time where religious stability had been shaken, this statement clearly identifies both sides of the fence: those who believed in the power of God and those who believed in the power of self or mankind. Carlyle uses a ÒFriendÓ to explain that, Ò ÔÉFaith is properly the one thing needful; how, with it, Martyrs, otherwise weak, can cheerfully endure the shame and the cross; and without it, Worldlings
Three Worldlings (Original caption)[4]
puke up their sick existence, by suicide, in the midst of luxuryÕÓ[5] Faith is the necessary ingredient for a religion that does not consist of tangible things, but instead holds fast to the intangible, making a fortress of something that is beyond the world we see. Yesterday during the church service I attended, the speaker used the word ÒcrutchÓ to describe how Christians are to rely on God. People will argue that this is wrong, but ultimately, the belief is held that without God, people are weak and helpless, unable to fend for themselves. Religious faith is for the weak, as Carlyle says.
Happiness
Happiness is something I have trouble with at times. The more I learn about people in Africa who are dying of AIDS or even the poverty-stricken members of our own society, the more I find myself at a crossroads: should I be happy because I have so much, or should I be sad for the people that have so little while I sit and do nothing?
Victorian Depiction of a Ghetto[6]
The previous seems so much more selfish than the latter. But an even greater debate is also at hand: can money buy happiness? It could be these people would be happy for a time with greater wealth, but would they later become sad and selfish like much of our society? Carlyle says that, ÒManÕs Unhappiness, as I construe, comes of his Greatness; it is because there is an Infinite in him, which with all his cunning he cannot quite bury under the FiniteÉÓ.[7] I must say as I agree with this. It seems the ultimate irony that so many million and billionaires are so sad, often committing suicide. We equate materialism with happiness, but it ultimately brings our demise. These are all noble causes, but we seem to have this drive for what will kill us most: dangerous sports, unhealthy food, and loads of money. But what WILL bring us happiness? Carlyle says it is God, and Mill says that, "Those only are happy (I thought) who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end" (Mill 694), but what else could it be? And is happiness even necessary, or is it just privilege? I havenÕt the answer to that yet. Maybe contentedness should be our goal.
To Sum UpÉ
Carlyle says, ÒÉall that we do springs out of Mystery,
Spirit, invisible ForceÓ[8],
but what is this invisible force? Is it the religious god you worship, the
drives and instincts within you, or the societal pressures that are ingrained
in us from birth? We mustnÕt forget the Mystery, as the little boy says[9],
but can we forget (or at least ignore) the Òinvisible ForceÓ if it causes
nothing but trouble? Maybe our own ÒPattern of ConversionÓ will come from this
change in our thinking.
