Marshall Wilkerson – Final Draft

Revised: “All the world seemed turning to satire”¹

This aerial view of Oxford [²] seems to embody the very essence of how many feel about the concept of the term “university.” I say this because I myself had, and still have in some ways, that selfsame view. Upon close inspection, it becomes apparent that the entirety of Oxford seems shadowed, dark and gloomy, yet the lawn in the bottom left corner shows quite clearly that this photo was taken in full daylight! Imagine then, how this campus must look while shadowed by the constant cloud and rain of mainland England. This idiosyncrasy, in conjunction with the fact that Oxford is the quintessential example of the western “university”, leaves no wonder as to how it became a common view of the everyday man that these seats of higher learning were beyond reach, venerable and foreboding, objects of ponderous weight in the mind's eye.

Furthermore, not only the common man, but the very nobles, professors and gentlemen of those same institutions allowed this view to be held. Some even went so far as to adopt the view themselves. The entire situation fed upon itself, worsening generation upon generation, until universities seemed totally out of reach of the common man, creating “a class...who knew not the colleges, nor their works, nor their ways.”³ As this view was birthed in England, and we Americans are England's children, we were raised with that selfsame view, which persists in part to this day.

In direct opposition to this view arose the idea of providing, for the public, an open seat of higher learning dedicated to the people, and supported by their government. As a group so very long cut off from the high-minded ideal of university teaching, the common man jumped at the opportunity to provide for himself and his posterity the priceless education so long denied to his kind. The <words deleted> importance of this issue shows in its being a hot point in the birth of American revolution, and further in the birth of our own great state. <new sentence> The Texas constitution specifically states “The Legislature shall as soon as practicable establish...a University of the first class”.⁴ It is in this <words deleted> contradictory view of the university that we now rest, treating it as both a place open to us, and out of our reach. <new sentence> From the conflict of these two ideas arises that same fear in us today as was in Jude's heart during his childhood.

This then, is possibly the greatest similarity between the experience of Jude, with his beloved ideal of the university, and my own experience with college. We both spent our childhood preparing as best we could for a place which in turn found us utterly unprepared. Upon arriving at the University of Texas, I found myself standing at the bottom of the sixpack, staring at its seal [⁵]. As much as that view of Oxford, I found this seal cold and daunting. I knew not the inscription circling the shield, nor the symbolism of its <word deleted> many aspects, I knew only that they must indeed mean something, and that better men than I had instilled

it with worth and meaning beyond my grasp. This served to strengthen my sense that not only the college itself, but the entire concept of a university was far beyond my pitiable mental scope. With the constant fear of rejection burgeoning my <word deleted> soul throughout the complicated <words deleted> process of applying for college, to find myself in a place I did not feel I understood or belonged seemed to give truth to all the terrors I had been facing. In reading Hardy's tale, I could all too easily identify with Jude's fear, his lack of confidence, his despair, because I have felt, in fact still do feel, those very same things.

Much like poor Father Time, the children of our generation have been raised to “see all [the world's] terrors before they are old enough to have staying power to resist them”.⁶ From first grade until the summer before my acceptance into college, over twelve years, I was never without the knowledge of the price of failure should I fail to achieve acceptance into a seat of higher learning. My parents, my teachers, my friends, all served to daily renew my fears of failure, and who would not be a basket case after twelve years spent thus? I distinctly remember knowing that I was too young to feel such terror as I felt, to spend third grade terrified of living my life as a construction worker, with the entirety of my family disappointed and disgusted. It is in those moments that such inner reflections arise in us as they did in Father Time, to find ourselves wondering if “it would be better to be out o' the world than in it, wouldn't it?”.⁷ So in the sorrow of Jude and his family I find reflections of my own difficulties where college is concerned, but my life is not a Victorian novel, so all is not misery and loss for me.

In fact, I find it is often quite the opposite. When my mind is consumed by something the university is teaching me, rather than something about the university which I have been taught, I am joyous and content. All too completely I agree with Newman in his assertion that “knowledge is capable of being its own end”,⁸ and I take great joy in losing myself in the material my classes provide me, in the knowledge I am bequeathed. And beyond that there is simply the atmosphere of the place, the sense of being here, for Newman also stresses that in a seat of multiple schools of learning “is created a pure and clear atmosphere of thought, which the student also breathes, though in his own case he only pursues a few sciences out of the multitude”.⁹ There is such a simple joy in being here, in being part of the university, that I would give anything for Jude to have known it as well, if only for an instant. In fact, that is the greatest part of what is lacking in comparing Hardy's tale of college woes to my own experience, for Jude himself never gets to know what it is like to be

a true part of a university, which is all on its own a life-changing thing.

In contrast to that major difference, which is in truth a single difference between myself and but one of many Victorian portrayals of higher learning,

is an encompassing similarity to Victorian education in the form of my being a student of the college of liberal arts. As we have discussed in class, in Victorian times to go to university was synonymous with receiving a liberal education, it was the only type of education a university provided. Furthermore, the concept of a liberal education has not changed in all the many centuries since its birth <words deleted>, creating a direct connection between my experiences and those of men such as Newman and Hardy. It is because of this connection that I do not see Jude's vague aim to “better himself” at a university as vague at all, for that is exactly the goal at which a liberal education is aimed <words deleted>. To an outsider, my own statement may seem just as vague as Jude's own plans, but I cannot agree, having followed the path of a liberal education with my own two feet. <words deleted> While the liberal college does not provide instruction in any set of skills specific to a certain job, such as those provided in the colleges of engineering, business, and communication, it does provide skills that would be useful in any of those areas. The liberal arts take to heart Newman's insistence “that all branches of knowledge are connected together, because the subject-matter of knowledge is intimately united in itself”.¹⁰ A liberal education teaches us, to take the words from our good professor Bump's mouth, how to learn. Can there be any disputation of the fact that such a skill is applicable to any school of learning? Much like the college experience to which Hardy and Newman relate personally, a present day liberal arts student learns a little about many different things, and is enriched purely by the knowledge that surrounds him. This <words deleted> aspect of liberal arts is a tradition born of its origins, as evinced in this illustration <words deleted> of the “septes artes liberales” or the seven liberal arts; grammar, logic, rhetoric, arithmetic, music, geometry, and astronomy. [ ¹¹ ] While the latter four subjects are no longer within the purview of basic liberal arts, the former three most indubitably are, and they are three human endeavors for which I hold the greatest respect and love imaginable. It is in this love of the written word that I find connection to Jude and Newman, and their profound respect for knowledge itself.

And so the aforementioned dichotomy of fear and hope comes full circle in myself, just as it did in Victorian thought. The fear of all that a university entails clashes with the joy of all that a university imparts in a confusing emotional mix, leaving me just as awe-struck as Jude in his adolescence, just as joyous as Newman in the power and beauty of knowledge, yet in contrast just as terrified and overwhelmed as Jude came to be, eventually causing him to forsake his dream of attending a university. I can only pray I never make that same choice.

Word Count: 1796

Quote word count: 121