Anna Dodson

My Leadership Vision: Balancing a Career and Motherhood

When I grow up, my goal is to write a novel while maintaining a healthy and happy family. I think that it would be possible to maintain a literary career while raising children because of the example set to me by other women. Historically, women have written books or poetry to support themselves and their family; Mary Wollstonecraft, a political commentator during the eighteenth century, is only one famous example. The elastic nature of writing allows you to be attentive to your family, a benefit of working at home. For example, if the children are sick, you do not need to take personal days off to care for them. There is not a certain time of day that is most conducive to writing. If the mood takes you to write in the middle of the night, so be it. Secondly, my current and future scholarly training would prepare me for a career in writing. Therefore, I believe my goal is entirely possible, and I have laid out the steps needed to achieve it. I will attend graduate school to overcome my self-doubt and facilitate the publication of my first work, and eventually will write my first novel to be published. Ultimately, I would like to be a role model to my children and to demonstrate that it is possible to maintain a career while being an attentive parent.

I will have many potential obstacles to overcome. One obvious obstacle is the question of having a family at all. However, as I did not go to college to get my MRS degree, I will ignore that problem and focus on my aspirations to become a writer. My passion for writing and creating interesting stories drives my desire to become an author. Unfortunately, as my freshman English professor once told me, despite the Stephen Kings and Anne Rices of the world, a writer has to excel at their profession to be a success, and even the most successful writers rarely make enough money to survive on their writing. Though I recognize this difficulty, I plan to make a career doing what I do best.

In order to gain enough credibility for a major publishing company to consider my novel, I will first have to publish a short story or newspaper article. This could be achieved by writing articles for magazines or newspapers, by submitting short works to literary journals, or by entering a literary contest. Unfortunately, I tend to be a starter, not a finisher. In my hobbies, as in my personal writing, I tend to be very enthusiastic at the beginning, and as my thoughts do not flow in a linear pattern, I write a jumbled mess of ideas. After this initial burst of enthusiasm, my work slows to a halt. All that I have completed are a few pages of notes, but nothing completed. I do not think that this process is unique to me as a writer, but if I were to seriously consider this for my career, I would need to practice some of the motivational techniques listed in our anthology, such as “plugging away” when “pure, unadultered motivation” wanes.[1] The movie “Finding Forrester” illustrates this point. A young and talented student named Jamal meets a famous writer who has cloistered himself in an apartment. In one scene, Forrester pulls out two old typewriters, puts a clean sheet of paper in each, and begins typing on one. Jamal stares and is amazed that Forrester can write so easily. Forrester did not have an idea for a story, but he has practiced writing so often that he can write anything anytime. It would certainly be easier to be a writer if I could develop that ability.

I have often wanted to enter the short story writing contest the English department has every semester, as I have a good story in my head and bits and parts of it jotted down in fragments, yet I never have. November is also National Novel Writing Month, but the easily achievable goal of two-thousand words a day has often escaped me due to “lack of time” or “previous commitments.” With only two days left in the month, I have only written twelve hundred words. Despite my repeated attempts to write fiction, the excuses I make for myself when I stop do not hide the fact that I am afraid of failure. I would have to overcome my insecurities to succeed at writing. Here is a clip of the story I would like to publish one day:

[2]

As you can tell, it is nowhere near completion; I have only written two pages of it! One of my manageable goals would be to finish it and submit it to a writing contest. Doing so would give me encouragement and teach me perseverance, even if it did not win.

Another path that will help me overcome my personal inadequacies and perhaps also help me achieve my goal of publishing a literary work is attending graduate school. Succeeding in graduate school is a form of leadership training in itself. In seeking a higher-level degree, I demonstrate that I aim to be a leader of my peers at the forefront of literary knowledge. I want to make discoveries that will influence the way others read literature. I will also polish my writing there and establish myself as an innovator in my field. An advanced degree would also serve as a form of “back up” in case my writing career does not succeed. A position as a professor would give me the opportunity to teach others at the college level while maintaining my passion to work with literature of any kind. It would also give me the economic freedom to pursue my dream of writing a novel. I prefer writing fiction to literary criticism but I love research. In graduate school I will practice techniques that will help me perfect what Mill calls the “power and practice of analysis as an essential condition both of individual and social improvement.”[3] Reading analytical writing will help me clarify myself when I write critically. This is not to say that I believe that my writing will change the course of mankind; rather, I believe that I could best benefit society through my writing.

Why do I even want children if I have such lofty career goals as being the Next Great American Novelist or Literary Critic? I love children, and when I was in high school I babysat for my neighbor’s kids frequently. I enjoy playing with them and it’s so rewarding when they draw me pictures for me to take home. My stretch goal is to raise my own children so that I may pass on the values I have learned from my mother. She has been my best friend through many obstacles, and I want to live near her (or near enough to visit her). I would like to be the parent that she has been to me, to watch my children grow up with the comfort of having an attentive parent at all times, what my mom used to call the “helicopter syndrome,” as an attentive parent hovers over her brood to make sure their needs are met. One of the first pictures I took with my digital camera was of her:

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I want to lead by example as she has shown me by demonstrating that it is possible to have a career one enjoys while being a mother. She has a flexible job as a university supervisor at the University of Houston-Clear Lake training future teachers. Not only is she guiding future educational leaders, she has taught me to be a responsible adult. She has been able to provide for me and to lead me when I needed guidance.

I needed that guidance more than ever last month when I adopted a calico kitten that I named Freckles. For fifteen years my mother has taken care of my cat, Sugar, and we joke that she is my sister. Now that I had suddenly become a mother to an eight-week-old kitten I needed my mother’s advice on how to get my “baby” to stay asleep all night and what to do if she cried. I never realized how difficult it was to be a mother. I appreciate more than ever the sleepless nights she must have spent with me when I was a baby. Though I realize a kitten does not require as much attention as a baby, I have learned more responsibility taking care of Freckles than I have babysitting. I will teach Freckles not to claw the furniture and to play nicely with my roommate’s cat. Despite all the hard work, I love it when Freckles climbs into my lap and purrs contentedly.

The importance of motherhood was well recognized by the Victorians. Hopkins extolled the power of the Virgin Mary, a mother, in many of his poems. It is evident by his praise that he valued the power of woman as provider as he celebrated her virtues in his poem “The Blessed Virgin compared to the Air we Breathe”:

Welcome in womb and breast,

Birth, milk and all the rest

But mothers each new grace

That does now reach our race-

...She holds high motherhood

Towards all our ghostly good

And plays in grace her part

About man’s beating heart....[5]

Not only do mothers provide earthly goods to their children, they also lead them in the path to salvation. She is also a teacher, and if you were to “ask of her, the mighty mother:/ Her reply puts this other/ Question: What is Spring?-/ Growth in every thing...”[6] The standard to grow and learn is set by the Virgin Mary, and mothers everywhere. The University of Texas also values the role of mother, as demonstrated on the facade of the Home Economics building which shows the image of a mother leading her child by the hand:

[7]

While some might see this as an old-fashioned image, its relevance today is no less important. These words and images directly relate to the University’s goal of creating responsible citizens “by its creation, expansion, and transmission of knowledge...both to demonstrate and teach leadership to new generations of students.”[8] What more valuable students are there than one’s own children? The role of teacher and leader is one that I take very seriously, and I would love the opportunity to teach others the knowledge I have gained both in school and through my experiences in life.

Our mothers have shown us that it is possible to “have it all”: a career and a family. I too want a career, though one that allows flexibility in case of emergencies, or just to have time for family outings. I am passionate about my writing, and I believe that the elastic nature of it would allow me to express my passions while providing for my family. By achieving my small goals, such as publishing a work and attending graduate school, I will have achieved my stretch goal: being the kind of leader who will teach her children values to grow and live by.

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