Learning Record

Learning Record

September 7, 2004

LR A.1.: Psychological “Type” Test Results

After completing the arbitrary and confusing Jung Typology Test, I have been classified as an INTJ, or Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging. Although I could have retaken the test and, in all sincerity probably answered most of the questions differently, I believe that the description of the INTJ reflects my true nature fairly accurately. Again, the questions were subjective and in some instances I may have unconsciously answered how I would like to behave, as opposed to how I actually would behave in a given situation. According to the description, the INTJ-type, or mastermind, is a bit of a control freak. A mix of compassion, reason, and egotism, the INTJ is a sort of pioneer or maverick, as exemplified by such celebrity representatives as Woodrow Wilson, Ty Webb (aka Chevy Chase), and Hannibal Lecter(?). I was surprised to discover how accurately Marina Margaret Heiss described my character in her assessment of the INTJ-type. I am self-confident; I am open-minded, but only in regards to what seems reasonable or feasible for a given situation; I tend to ascribe to reason more readily than emotion; I am impatient with social rituals; and I am a pretty lame romantic. While I am generally content with the results of the test, I am not sure how well it all bodes for my future as a writer. I am very organized and a bit of a perfectionist, but only in regards to activities which capture my interest or which I deem important for one reason or another. In this sense, there are probably areas of my writing and reading which are underdeveloped, such as emotional content. I am deeply moved by art (literature, film, music) and I am keenly aware of my own emotions, but I am not able to successfully relate what I feel through writing or speaking, as the case may be. I believe I have an adequate command of the English language and a capacity to apply it to certain types of analytical and rhetorical writings, but I am not a particularly adept creative writer. I may have substantial ideas, but they never seem to materialize on paper, which is probably the shortcoming of mediocre writers everywhere.

September 7, 2004

LR A.2.: Application of Personality “Type” to Education in General

From the previous Learning Record, I have determined that I am an INTJ. I am a born-leader, able to plan ahead and think rationally. However, the talents which I possess in regards to management and clear-thinking encroach on my capacity to respond emotionally or to conform to “normal” social behavior. While I think that, on the whole, the report is astonishingly accurate, I am a human being and am prone to contradict myself and exhibit somewhat random behavior. I am perfectly capable of conforming and subscribing to social rituals. Likewise, I am, at times, very compassionate.

According to the description of INTJs, most are inclined to be scientists or engineers. This runs contrary to my educational and prospective vocational experience. Although I began my career at UT planning to study engineering, I quickly decided that I was not suited for that path. I sought a more “liberal” education (there was no way I was going to take any math beyond Calculus II). Part of this may be because, I am ashamed to say, my high-school performance was lackluster at best. I went to a wonderful school and had all of the teachers and resources at my hands, but at that point in my life I was totally disinterested with school and so I basically slid through high-school without expending any effort whatsoever. Thus, arriving at college, I wanted to fill in some space that I felt was lacking in my education. Perhaps if I had more thoroughly absorbed my earlier education, I would now be content to specialize in a particular field, say engineering or science. Regardless, I am happy with the choices I have made and I think that my educational experience has meshed well with my personality-type.

I have enjoyed my studies at UT and, for the first time in my formal educational life, I am truly interested in what I learn. I am on the verge of completing my degree with a double major in English and Economics. I originally chose the subjects to balance each other out. Economics were going to be my practical courses, while English was going to be enjoyable. I have always loved to read and so I thought that English would be like a reprieve from the computer applications and theoretical analyses of Econometrics and Macroeconomics. I am content with my original plan, but, in hindsight, it has worked out quite differently than I intended. My English courses have consistently proved more demanding than my other courses and I think that I have learned more than I anticipated. Beyond practicing and improving my ability to articulate myself through writing and speaking, which I expected to do during the course of my English studies, I have also learned a great deal about time management and productive interaction with other students and professors. More importantly, though, was the understanding I gleaned from the actual literary texts. My English major has helped develop my ability to read into literature and understand the intent and purpose of the author and how that applies to me as a reader. This is a skill which will prove invaluable for the rest of my life, as I plan to continue to read literature for as long as I am physically capable.

In regards to this course in particular, I believe that the personality-type which I am bringing to the table will be well-suited to certain areas. Group projects, analytical or critical reading and writing of essays, and time-management should not be a problem. On the other hand, I am worried about my ability to really use my imagination and fabricate places, people, and conversations (like in P1A). Basically, I don’t consider myself a skilled creative writer and have never sought to develop this capacity. However, I am not necessarily worried, just anxious. I like to be challenged and I relish the opportunity to improve theses skills, especially since I will have the chance to thoroughly edit and rewrite the larger projects.

September 21, 2004

Learning Record Goals

1. Free My Mind

-- I have written copious amounts over the course of my studies at UT, but it has been of a limited scope. I am not writing a final thesis, nor have I taken any creative writing courses, but I want to use this course to fill those voids. There seems to be enough flexibility in the assignments for this class that I can try to use my imagination to write something original and substantial.

2. Effectively Mange My Time

-- I am generally well-organized. I show up on time and turn assignments in on time, but I can always improve the quality of my writing. By preparing farther in advance, I can spend more time revising and improving my work.

3. Advise Others and Accept Criticism

-- I will remember to keep an open mind and listen to others’ impressions of my work. When I feel that I have created something exceptional, I tend to disregard criticism, whether it is from a peer or a professor. I need to strive to heed others’ advice, as my work can only improve as it becomes more universally appealing and technically robust. I also need to give meaningful critiques of others’ work.

4. Passively Observe the Natural World

-- I love the outdoors and, even before this class, preferred to spend my time in nature. However, through the readings and writings of this course, I hope to expand my appreciation of nature. I need to purposely slow down and observe the interactions and interconnections of the natural world and realize how I fit into this enormous picture. I used to love to draw, but haven’t really tried anything in years, maybe some pastoral pencil sketchings will impel this realization.

5. Relate to my Genius Loci

-- An extension of goal four, I need to appreciate my physical surroundings (natural and otherwise) and bear in mind the history of the places which I visit and reside. With this understanding, I can find my own place and how I am affected and how I affect my environment.

October 25, 2004

Learning Record Midterm

I will begin this Learning Record with the most objective aspects of the assignment. [1]In terms of my ultimate grade in this course, I think I should do fine. Contingent on getting all the assignments in on time and doing well on Project 2, I think I have a good chance of getting an A or a high B. I am confident because of the formal logic: if you get 900+ out of 1000, then you get an A. If this class was based on a curve and I was competing against the other students, then, perhaps I would be a bit more apprehensive (from the e-mails, there seems to be quite a few people who are well ahead of me in points). [3] I have really enjoyed the structure of this class. I think we should meet outside everyday. The daily meeting place could be behind the Alumni Center or the open hillside to the south of the PCL. My only suggestion would be to base lectures and discussions on the ideas and observations of that day, instead of what people have written in their journals from the night before. I realize that I am particularly ill-suited to ask for this because I tend to recede into the background during class, but I think dynamic thinking should be encouraged over (oftentimes reluctant) recitation.

I feel like this class, in some ways, was what I had hoped to get out of my English major all along. I did not like the first major project and I feel somewhat apprehensive about what I produced for that project (I have to remember my Witness, the project simply is and there is no reason to worry about what it was or will be); but the other assignments, the day to day readings and journals have been invaluable.

Throughout my career as an English major I have felt somewhat stifled by the classes that I have taken. My experience thus far has consisted of reading exorbitant amounts and then trying to hastily draw critical conclusions either on a test or in a paper without having any real opportunity to reflect on how the text applies to my own experience or how I am affected by a particular work. The readings in this class are so eclectic that my enthusiasm rarely wanes. Likewise, I have been allotted sufficient time and opportunities to write and reflect. Thus, if from nothing else than sheer practice, my writing abilities and my creative faculties have improved. I cannot say that I have improved my public speaking abilities as I haven’t used them much. I am still basically as technologically ignorant as ever (I don’t know how I got a B in Elements of Computer Programming), but I have attempted some more complicated things recently and I am determined to create at least one functional website for this class.

The major development that this class has impelled has been more abstract. Although it has been mentioned that this class is more worthwhile at the beginning of one’s university career, I have found it to be especially valuable at the end. A number of sources have influenced my thinking recently and so I began this semester in a precarious state of mind. The writings of Henry Miller (Stand Still Like the Hummingbird) and Friedrich Nietzsche (Beyond Good and Evil) successfully deconstructed my perception of the world. Likewise, facing the prospect of graduating in December (being expelled from the garden, out through Forster’s translucent gates into the open, dusty road) inspires a bit of anxiety about what I want to do next and what I should do next. Thus, while this class has not provided me with a definite answer (if only there was Senior Seminar: Literature, Architecture, Art, and The True Meaning of Life) to my dilemma, it has shown me myriad interpretations and extrapolations. I am comforted simply by being aware that I have companions to help me discover my own ideas and principles. Everything we have read thus far applies in some way to this question of what is possible and what is worthwhile. Hopkin’s blissful connection with nature, Newman’s ideas on education, Hardy’s caustic criticism, even Joseph Jones’s thoughtful devotion to the rocks along Waller Creek inspire me to look outside of myself and realize what it is that I truly appreciate and how I perceive myself. Ram Dass’s How Can I Help? is the most complete and most straightforward answer to my questions. It is free of symbols and metaphors, but what it seeks to achieve is present in everything else as well. It is like a distillation of the themes and lessons I have taken from the other readings in our course packet. “It’s as if you lived in a little town, and you go up to a mountaintop and, looking down, you see how you move about in the course of an ordinary day… now, when you’re moving around town thereafter, there’s a part of you that always recalls the perspective from above… you’re still watching it all from up there.” (73) This awareness has been developed by what we have read thus far. Recognizing the interconnectedness of the world and beyond and recognizing that awareness runs deeper than what we initially perceive (“There is more to the mind than reason alone. There is awareness itself and what we sometimes think of as deeper qualities of the mind.” (75)) has had profound effects on my ideas of what I can do and what I should do.

Ram Dass advocates selflessness by both letting go of the ego and literally helping others (a Christian sentiment, is he a Buddhist? I will engage in some discovery learning later and find out). His observations on this pursuit tie in with another learning experience that I have participated in recently. For the last six months or so I have volunteered with the Refugee Services of Austin. I started working with refugees for decidedly selfish reasons: I am interested in issues of human rights (particularly in Liberia and the Sudan) and I want to help, but even more so I want to observe and to learn. In some way I want to be inspired by these people, who face unfathomable hardship but remain optimistic. In many ways I am compelled by their stories and inspired by their perseverance, but I also feel somewhat disenchanted at times. “In helping others, we’ll always find ambiguity and paradox. Sometimes these can just rip us apart and lead to self-doubt and self-consciousness, which if allowed to take hold will inevitably burn us out.” (79) This is precisely how I react sometimes. Sometimes, the innocence and vitality of these people is so refreshing, but other times I am disgusted by their ungratefulness and greed. I realize that I describe the refugees as “noble savages,” that I hold them in comparison with some unrealistic ideal and am dismayed when I realize that they are no different than everyone else, especially when they become immersed in American culture, but that is my perception. Ram Dass advises one to become disconnected with these feelings and to “merely attend” (79), to engage in but not affect or be affected by, but that is a tall order. Is it possible to relinquish that much and would one even want to ignore one’s thought process?

I have managed to get way off track. Essentially, I have had quite a bit of philosophical or existential growth as a result of this course. For the second half, I will attempt to refine my thinking and increase the efficiency of my writing. The abstract thinking and so forth will continue, but I will make a conscious effort to improve my diction, eliminate unnecessary ramblings, and improve my grammar. This way I will hopefully be able to create more engaging and more effective prose. Additionally, I will continue my ongoing struggle with technology and hopefully create a good webpage for my final portfolio.

December 3, 2004

LR Final

“It’s as if you lived in a little town, and you go up to a mountaintop and, looking down, you see how you move about in the course of an ordinary day. You see your route to work, how you go shopping, the main thorough-fares, your shortcuts, your daily routines—you’re seeing all that from up there. Then you return to the village. But now, when you’re moving around town thereafter, there’s a part of you that always recalls the perspective from above. As you go through a day, you’re still watching it all from up there.” (73)

The awareness alluded to in the above analogy, quoted from Ram Dass, establishes the perspective of the “witness,” the narrator of this text. “If we observe our own minds at work, we see that behind all these identities is a state of awareness that incorporates them all and yet is still able to rest behind them.” (73) Thus, the experiences and development that occurred during Professor Bump’s fall 2004 Senior Seminar course, particularly concerning the student Andrew Loomis, is analyzed and, then, synthesized by an objective third-party. The report begins with the elementary goals of the course that serve as the criteria that will be used to assess Andrew’s experience.

1. Free My Mind

2. Effectively Mange My Time

3. Advise Others and Accept Criticism

-- I will remember to keep an open mind and listen to others’ impressions of my work. When I feel that I have created something of quality, I tend to disregard criticism, whether it is from a peer or a professor. I need to strive to heed others’ advice, as my work can only improve as it becomes more universally appealing and technically robust. I also need to give meaningful critiques of others’ work.

4. Passively Observe the Natural World

5. Relate to my Genius Loci

6. Strive to Improve my Diction and Streamline my Writing

-- This is what I admire above almost all else in good writing and I strive to use the perfect word for each situation. However, I am prone to commit glaring errors and malaprops that lead to inefficient writing and discredit my role as a writer. Thus, I will make every effort to improve my word selection and distill my writing. I will try to simplify my writing without sacrificing any effectiveness.

7. Increase and Improve my Interaction with Computers

-- I do not particularly want to pursue this last goal, but it must be done. Computers are here to stay and so I will learn to abide by them. At the end of the semester I intend to have a functional webpage with my entire portfolio on it.

When the semester began, Andrew was somewhat apprehensive, and also somewhat curious about this course. To be perfectly honest, he had hoped to enroll in the “Existentialist Novel” section of the Senior Seminar courses. On the morning that he discovered that that class section was full (two hours after the registration began) he perused the other course descriptions, and found an interesting title, “Literature, Architecture, and Art.” During the summer before the semester began, he received an e-mail with an introductory survey for the course. Because he was confused about the actual subject of the course (and because he knew little about architecture and art), he attached a note to his survey asking about the content of the course and what he could do to prepare. In response, the instructor said that he wasn’t sure what Andrew meant, but that it might be a good idea to begin reading the assigned texts. Confusion turned into curiosity when he looked at the assigned readings. The list was relatively short, only three distinct books; and, most curious, was the inclusion of Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

This introduction sounds a bit like the beginning of a parody of Alice in Wonderland, and Andrew’s experiences in the class have indeed provided plenty of fodder for such a parody. The texts, along with the eclectic course packet, inspired a myriad of emotions and ideas in Andrew during the semester. The concrete examples set forth by Thomas Hardy, Lewis Carroll, and Max Beerbohm; the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins, Matthew Arnold, and William Wordsworth; and the abstract observations of John Henry Newman, Walter Pater, Ram Dass, and others all had a profound influence on him. The influence was particularly acute because of the stage of Andrew’s life that happened to coincide with this course. The course is the last course that he will take at the University of Texas and its completion marks the beginning of a new chapter in his life.

Initially, and perhaps most importantly, this course helped Andrew discover the wisdom of the previously mentioned writers and teachers. From the readings and from his professor’s own Socratic method of questioning the world and his students, Andrew was able to broaden his own perspective and gain insights that will undoubtedly help him understand and learn from the new life that lies ahead (it is really the same, but it feels new). He learned from Walter Pater that each person’s perspective is incomprehensibly unique and often further obscured by their personality and inhibitions (from Ram Dass: “So often we deny ourselves and others the full resources of our being simply because we’re in the habit of defining ourselves narrowly and defensively to begin with.” [72]). From Thomas Hardy and John Ruskin, he learned to appreciate Gothic architecture and to revere the anonymous labor and devotion that went into each form, each Grotesque. Gerard Manley Hopkins, William Wordsworth, Joseph Jones, and the class excursions to Waller Creek and the Oriental Gardens further developed Andrew’s already strong bond with nature (Goal 4). Cardinal Newman helped me to asses the value of my own liberal educational experience. All of these together were synthesized in the projects to help me discover and relate to my sense of place (Goal 5).

At the outset, Andrew sought to develop his creative thinking and writing (Goal 1). He was able to make significant strides in these areas through the practice that was allotted through a number of formal and other projects (the illustrations for P2B).

Specifically, he learned the value of rewriting and effective time-management. He realized that even the best writers are patient with their work and the process that goes into producing it (Hemmingway and the thirty-nine drafts is permanently branded on Andrew’s conception of the writing process). However, these existential illuminations and creative faculties are not the only goals that Andrew has strove after during his Senior Seminar semester. After the LR Midterm, he concluded that the deep thinking and philosophizing is a natural consequence of the readings. Additionally, creative writing is an integral and unavoidable part of the course, which he also enjoys working on. Thus, he decided that these areas would be addressed, but he could also make concerned efforts in other directions. As mentioned above (Goals 6 and 7), Andrew wanted to use the second-half of the semester to work on more tangible abilities that he had developed thus far as an English major. Concise writing, clear prose, and public speaking were some of the new goals. He knew that he was already working on these goals to some extent. Efficient time-management (Goal 2) was necessary for sufficient rewriting, and he knew that rewriting was necessary to achieve parsimony and clarity in his writings. But, he added the goal of using the allotted time specifically towards formulating succinct ideas and well-organized structures for his writings.

Andrew is somewhat reticent by nature. He doesn’t usually say things unless he feels that they are relevant or that they should be said. However, he is comfortable speaking in public. This capacity was developed in the course as well, although not as much as was his writing.

He made progress towards each goal, but the only goal that Andrew can state that he fully achieved was Goal 7. Computers were an essential element of this course. Andrew was initially skeptical of the Professor’s advocation of technology, but, in hindsight, its integration into the course activities allowed easier and more efficient interaction. Andrew enjoyed the discussion board assignments. The online, topical discussions gave the students in the class an opportunity to craft well thought-out responses and to learn from others’ responses. The forum for critiquing papers was also a useful and easy way to read the other students’ papers and to receive their input. Andrew was pleased that he was able to, for the first-time, create a website. The first website, for his P1B, was fairly basic, but it helped familiarize him with the process of correctly linking and uploading files. He was much more pleased with his P2B website. It also was fairly basic, but it went beyond a simple relabeled word document. He successfully created a webpage with frames and hyperlinks. From this experience, Andrew now feels that he is capable of making a simple and effective website. He will surely use this confidence in the future to attempt a more complex site.

All in all, Andrew feels like this class has been valuable because of what he has learned about himself and about the process of learning. He gained insight from the specific information in the course packet, and he will always remember the characters and situations from the readings (Jude and Alice). However, what he is most grateful for is the awareness and the new ideas that he developed during this course. The course was a perfectly-suited end to his college career. It provided him with closure. He will undoubtedly think back on all of these aspects, as well as the progress he made towards his goals, and apply them to new experiences which he will encounter.

All that he learned this semester in his Senior Seminar course was facilitated because the instructor made the course fun. Over the course of his career at the University of Texas, Andrew has been a somewhat inconsistent student. He has been fascinated by and done well in some hard courses, and he has been noticeably absent and done poorly in courses that he should have done well in. Andrew had no problem attending Senior Seminar everyday. This was because he enjoyed it. Because the instructor created an informal and friendly environment (the memorization games/class introductions on the first few day of class were invaluable), Andrew always felt at home in the class (even when the professor purposely put him on the spot, Nicole can relate to this). Additionally, because of this level of familiarity and comfort, he was inspired to try hard on the projects and help others with their projects (Goal 4).

Senior Seminar E379S, because of its unique format, because of the permanent record of the projects that Andrew created, because of it placement at the end of his academic career (for now, anyways), and because of its “mad” instructor, will be easily the most memorable class of Andrew’s undergraduate career at UT. I would not recommend any major changes to the format of the class in the future. Of course, there are little things that could be implemented to make the class run more efficiently (i.e. stick more closely to the schedule, re-evaluate certain projects: the Pre-Raphaelite presentation), but Andrew also liked the spontaneous nature of the course (although maybe one meditation day is enough). Most fundamentally, establishing the student’s sense of place and the purpose of the student’s education should remain as the guiding goals of the course.