Jude’s sensitivity to nature reminded me of Hopkins.  “[Jude] could scarcely bear to see trees cut down or lopped, from a fancy that it hurt them; and late pruning, when the sap was up and the tree bled profusely, had been a positive grief to him in his infancy” (Hardy 15).  “For Hopkins the felling of the trees…was the willful assault on a delicate and divinely appointed organism” (267).  Jude’s statement expresses sadness at the trees discomfort and Hopkins’s statement expresses anger at the destruction of a divine being.  Both hold the tree in high regard.  Similarly Jude initially regards Christminster as divine. “Jude sees the university as ‘the tree of knowledge’ and ‘the paradise of the learned’” (274).  The sensitivity Jude feels towards the tree is connected to his feelings towards the university.  He hopes that his dreams will be fulfilled by reaching this city.  However when he sees some of the college buildings in the daylight he notices that, “They were wounded, broken, sloughing off their outer shape in the deadly struggle against years, weather, and man” (Hardy 68).  The destroying of the tree is like the destroying of his ideal perception of the university.  
        Jude the Obscure also demonstrates that a place can change in relation to the people and events that have been there.  One example is Jude’s walk to Alfredston.   After meeting Arabella, the walk was “a walk which now had large attractions for him…He diverged to the right before ascending the hill with the single purpose of gaining, on his way, a glimpse of Arabella” (43).  After his marriage with her fails, “he did not like the road to Alfredston now.  It stared him cynically in the face.” (55).   Places may not change, but the perception of those places may change as a function of the events that take place there.  One of the reasons the University is so appealing to Jude is because of all the past students who have studied there.  Earlier today, I was observing my roommate’s dog and noticing that she had some sense of place.  She had been tied in the kitchen because she had torn up the carpet.  After being released, she would not return to the kitchen or even go close.  Instead of following at my heels as usual, she would stop and wait while I was in the kitchen.   The kitchen, where she is fed and given treats, is usually a positive environment for her.  After the punishment, the kitchen became a place to be feared and avoided.    

Journal 5- College Life and Ritual

        The Emperors in Zulieka Dobson are passive observers of the events of the novel.  They cannot do anything about the ensuing tragedy except watch and know that it will happen.  “Yes, as the landau rolled by, sweat started from the brows of the Emperors. They, at least, foresaw the peril that was overhanging Oxford” (Beerbohm 5).  The characters could look at the Emperors’ reactions to events, if visible, in order to predict the consequences, but I do not think any of them ever do.   The Emperors are always described as “gazing” or “watching” the characters (Beerbohm 37, 198).  They watch the characters’ lives like they are watching a movie, predicting outcomes and worrying about consequences.  For example, when Noaks and Katie become briefly engaged, “The Emperors, gazing up, saw her happy, and wondered; saw Noaks’ ring on her finger, and would fain have shaken their grey heads” (Beerbohm 322).  This reminds me of my friend who watches soap operas and shakes her head at characters’ choice of lovers, as if she perceives future disaster. Similarly, “the Sheldonian heads act as a prophetic chorus to the tragedy” (666).

        After reading the article about gargoyles in the packet, I realized that Jude’s trade of stone masonry requires “surreal powers of imagination and considerable technical skill” (665).  These masons interpret reality and represent ideas creatively.  It seems like the ability to be a good stone mason should allow you entrance into a university.  They would probably do very well in English because of their vivid imagination.  However, Jude is not permitted to study in Christminster.  The Master that writes to Jude to deny his request to study at the university refers to stone masonry as another “sphere” (Hardy 95). I disagree and believe that Jude’s skills in stone masonry would greatly help him in his studies, at least in a modern-day university. 

        In any case, he is not allowed to participate in the college rituals that he observes after returning to Christminster with Sue and Father Time.   It is interesting to note the differences in perception between the three observers of the Commemoration day at Oxford. It is called “Remembrance Day” by Sue, “Humiliation Day” by Jude and “Judgment Day” by Father Time (Hardy 253-4).  This ritual is humiliating for Jude because it highlights his failure to achieve his goals.  His description of a “Latin inscription” to the crowd show blurs the boundaries between the Oxford students and the bystanders.  As he speaks, the people turn and listen to Jude, the unofficial scholar, instead of watching the procession of official scholars (Hardy 254).  Jude might be just as intelligent and educated as the Oxford students, but he does not have the formal title to be recognized as such in society.

 

Journal 6- Zulieka as Symbol of the Distractions of College Life

1. What temptations have distracted you from focusing on academics here at U.T.? In other words, who or what has been your Zuleika?

 The students at Oxford are really distracted by Zuleika.  The moment she walks in the room, they are unable to focus on anything besides her (142).   So far, nothing has had such a strong effect on me.  However, I have been distracted in the past (and present) by boyfriends.  I have never managed to date someone that lives where I live.  Currently, my boyfriend lives in Houston, so I am on the phone a lot and I make quite a few trips to Houston.  When I am in Austin, however, I am usually able to focus mostly on school.

 2. How does the representation of groups or cliques among the undergraduates at Oxford, fit your experience of U.T.? Who are the equivalent here of the Duke, Noaks, Oover, the Dons, etc.?

I agree with Heather that sororities and fraternities are the best example of cliques at U.T.  I have never been interested in joining one either.  Because I have not been a member of anything at U.T., I have not paid attention to the group representation.  I went to Texas A&M for a few years and I felt the presence of cliques much more strongly there.  If you weren’t a member of something, you were an outsider.  At U.T., I can decide not to join anything and still feel a part of the university.  The Duke’s group, Juanta, is based more on societal status and wealth.   Members of his group can be recognized by their costume of “a mulberry-coloured coat, with brass buttons” (116).  At U.T., members of certain clubs can be recognized by their group’s T-shirt.   However, I can’t look at a student and determine their societal status in the same way that I might be able to at Zuleika’s Oxford.  Therefore, I do not think you could necessarily pick out a “Duke” or a “Noaks” at U.T.  On the other hand, the respect given to the Duke by the undergraduates might be equivalent or similar to the respect given to an athlete at U.T. Also, at Oxford, there are groups of people associated with different colleges.

 I said in the previous question that although I never joined any clubs, I still felt a part of U.T.  I can remember countless times when I felt like an outsider at A&M because I didn’t want to learn the traditions and stories.  But, I have always felt welcome at U.T.  I can’t imagine that many people feel like outsiders here because there are so many different aspects of the university that cater to different interests.  I agree with Heather that Oover seems more welcome than some of the other undergraduates.  “The Juanta…is honored” to have him speak at their meeting (119).

3. When have you felt like an outsider here, that is, like Oover or Noaks? What was U.T.’s response to your sense of yourself as an outsider?

There is definitely a sense of authority in the U.T. tower.  The tower, in a way, watches over the whole campus.  If I were writing a Zuleika Dobson that takes place at U.T., the tower would be in place of the Emperors.  .  Similar to the way the Emperors “watched” and “gazed” upon the undergraduates at Oxford, the U.T. tower would watch and passively observe the campus, worrying about the students and contemplating their futures (37,198).  I’ve never been to 40 Acres Fest, but I’ve heard it draws a lot of attention and thus could be an equivalent to the attention given to the boat races (103). 

4. What are the U.T. equivalents of the imposing architecture, traditions, and crew races at Oxford?

 The students at Oxford experience the past by participating in the university’s traditions.   For example, the students go to watch the Judas Eight and the Duke usually toasts to Nellie O’Mora (103, 128). When the Duke refuses to do the traditional toast even the American, Mr. Oover, responds.  “All the antiquarian in him deplored the sudden rupture of a fine old Oxford tradition” (130). The traditions are respected and honored. At least in my experience, I do not think traditions are as important to U.T. students as they are to the undergraduates at Oxford.

6. How much do we share in the tradition of chivalry, courtly love, romance, etc. being satirized in the novel?

 Mr. Oover’s “intention of lying prone and letting Miss Dobson ‘walk over’ him” is chivalrous (135).  The fact that these men are dying for Zuleika just because she asked the Duke to is in some ways chivalrous.  At U.T., sometimes boys still open doors for girls and give up their seats on the bus.  When I went to A&M, I once saw a guy sprint 100 feet to open a door for a girl who was carrying a fish tank. 

7. What role do the illustrations play in this novel and in the Alice books?

I really like the illustrations.  They give me an idea of how Beerbohm imagined the places and characters he wrote about.  It also gives the book a personal feel, like of a diary or journal.  The author does not seem as distant because the book includes his own personal drawings with captions in his own handwriting.   

 In Alice, the illustrations sometimes clarify some of the text.  Some of the creatures in the book are so unusual, that I would have a hard time imagining them without the pictures (for example, the Duchess on 60).

 

Journal 7- Only Connect at the HRC

Be Profound!

    The man talking to the pig reminded me of Jude the Obscure.  Jude and the Christminster undergraduates are perceived to be two different spheres of society.  Jude may have some of the same skills as these undergraduates because of his independent study. However, he is not perceived as being in the same "sphere" as them (This word was used by the Master when he denied Jude's admission to the university to state that Jude's profession was another "sphere"). In this picture, the pig is standing like a human, and he appears to be conversing with another human.  In normal circumstances, a pig would be in an entirely different sphere than a human, like the perceived difference between Jude and the students.  However, here the pig and the man are on the same level.  The pig might even be dominating the conversation (or spitting while he talks) because the man looks like he's a little intimidated.  Maybe these set divisions confine people from doing what their nature might allow.  Maybe a pig can talk; however, we just don't know it because we haven't given it a change.  In the same way, maybe Jude could be a scholar if he had only been given the opportunity.

 

Journal 8- The Capitol and St. Mary's Cathedral

St Mary's Cathedral

This is different from what I expected.  I expected more ornamentation on the walls.  The stained glass windows are beautiful.  They are contained pieces of light and activity.  They are even further contained by a partial wooden barrier.  When you look at them together, they seem to connect like one continuous window.  They are most likely snapshots from different stories in the Bible. Is there any relationship between the pairs?  The wooden pieces on the ceiling mirror the large rose window at the back of the sanctuary.  I would be interested to look through that first ring at the rose window.  They look like they are aligned perfectly.  Contrary to the outside, the inside appears to be perfectly symmetrical.  What is that above the windows?  I can barely see it from here, but it looks like leaves and flowers.  It also looks like it might be made out of clay.  The lights look like they are very old.  Everything else is polished and new looking.  So, I don't necessarily feel as if I am in a building from the Middle Ages.  The door doesn't look like anything that would be built today.  If I remember correctly from a French architecture class I took, Medieval architecture is sparse and economical.  This looks like it might have been simple at one time, and the ornamentation like the gold embellishments were added later.

The Capitol

                    

 

I have to change to pencil because I am writing upside down. Maybe Alice's rabbit hole looked like this.  This reminds me of a telescope.  The image of the circle definitely dominates the image of the box. There are paintings surrounding me of what must be important people.  I wonder if the floors of the paintings constitute different ranks.  If the president of the U.S. is on the 1st floor, are the people on the top floor less important?  Paintings on the 1st floor would be viewed most frequently.  I bet the star on the floor is perfectly aligned with the one at the top of the dome.  The very top of the dome looks a little bit blue.

 

Journal 9-Alice as my College Experience

1.  “O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool?” (25)  This reminded me of my first day at college.  I was trying to go to a biology class and it was pouring down rain.  I didn’t have an umbrella, so I felt like I was practically swimming.  Like Alice, I was frustrated to the point of almost crying.  My map of campus was so wet that it was unreadable.  I had to ask at least 5 people how to get to the building where my class was.  Luckily, the other students were more friendly and helpful then the mouse.

2.  When I decided to transfer to U.T., no one at A&M seemed to approve.  Whenever I talked about it, no one was interested.  Alice talking about Dinah and the other animals’ response reminded me of this.   She ways “I wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah!...Nobody seems to like her down here, and I’m sure she’s the best cat in the world!” (36).  I felt like U.T. was the best choice for me and whenever I brought it up, people would scamper away like the animals or change the subject.

3.  Alice growing inside the rabbit’s house reminded me of how awkward I felt the first couple of days on campus as a freshman.  Everyone else walking on campus appeared to know exactly where they were going.  However, I was walking around campus like a tourist turning my map in different directions to try and figure out where I am going.  The picture of Alice on page 40 not quite fitting into her “place” helps illustrate this point.

4.  “’Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.  ‘I don’t much care where—‘said Alice.  ‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.”  This is how I felt talking to advisors when I was in my freshman and sophomore years of college.  I went to the advisor repeatedly asking for advice and trying to decide on a path.  They weren’t much help (at A&M) and would just hand me papers and forms about different majors.  I ended up having to decide on my own where I wanted to go before I decided which way to go. 

5. It seems that almost every character Alice encounters recites (or has Alice recite) a poem or a song.  It always appears very spontaneously and unexpectedly.  At A&M, there were numerous yells and songs that I had to recite and learn.  Other students just seemed to pop up and start doing these cheers when I least expected it.  I would try and join in, but I usually mess up and would change or forget the words, like Alice.   “’That is not said right’, said the Caterpillar.  ‘Not quite right, I’m afraid’, said Alice, timidly: ‘some of the words have got altered.’” (52).

6.  The Mad Hatter’s watch (71) reminded me of how my perception of time changed once I came to college.  Often, I was more curious about what day it was than what time it was.  Do I go to my MWF classes or my TTH classes today?  Plus, I went to bed much later and got up much later.  And, it was okay to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I could even go eat enchiladas in the middle of the night at Taco Cabana.  In high school, I would have never dreamed of eating at any other time than meal time.

7. I remember trying to take different dance lessons when I was first in college.  I think I tried to learn the lindy hop and the two-step with very little success.  The instructions from the leaders were as confusing and ridiculous to me as the instructions for the Lobster-Quadrille (101).  I also had a dance partner that would “every now and then [tread] on [my] toes when they passed to close” (101-2). 

8. Reading the poem “Jabberwocky” reminded me of my foreign language classes (148).  In order to understand the text, I practically had to look up every word.  Even then, I was just as confused as when I started reading. 

9.  Researching for projects has always been a long process for me.  I feel like I sort through so many books without ever coming up with anything to pertain to my project.  I could read for hours and hours and still have nothing to show for it.  My mom used to tell me that at least I was eliminating things that didn’t help.  This was not very encouraging to me.  The queen sprinting with Alice reminded me of this.  “The most curious part of the things was, that the trees and the other things round them never changed their places at all: however fast they went, they never seemed to pass anything.” (164)

10.  The incident of the White Queen reacting to a pricked finger before the finger is even pricked (198) reminded me of some stress reactions I’ve witnessed in students.  Students often think and feel miserable about failing a test that they haven’t even taken yet.  To an observer, that appears as ridiculous as crying about a finger that isn’t even pricked. 

11.  Alice becoming a Queen is like graduation.  All of the obstacles and strange characters she has encountered on her way can be likened to the 4+ years of undergraduate work preceding graduation.  “You can’t be a Queen, you know, till you’ve passed the proper examination.” (251)  Even after attending graduation ceremony (receiving the crown), students usually still have finals to take before they officially graduate.

 

Journal 10- Waller Creek

        I have walked passed the alumni center many times and I did not even realize that was Waller creek there.  Standing at the bus stop by San Jacinto, I have seen the bridge and the water underneath, but I didn’t think it was anything important.  After reading the packet and visiting the creek last week, I realized how significant and beautiful this creek actually is. When I walked onto the grass behind the alumni center, I felt like I wasn’t on campus anymore.  I kept thinking I was in some park or forest.  Then, I’d see the students from our class and remember that I was on campus and in class.  The neighborhood I grew up in had trees and lakes, but they were man-made or strategically positioned.  For example, there were exactly four trees in every yard.  There was quite a bit of nature, but it wasn’t necessarily natural.  When nature is allowed to create its own place, it is much more appealing.  Therefore, “we should be giving high priority to preserving every natural pocket still available, with the practical aim of helping preserve ourselves” (425).  The limestone in Waller Creek is made up of a history of fossils that are irreplaceable. It is a connection to the way the land was before we built buildings all over it.  It makes me nervous to think about all of the places that might have been permanently destroyed in order to build something over it.  I understand why the students protested in 1969. The quote above from Jones reminded me of Hopkins.  “For Hopkins the feeling of the trees was more than a mere destructive act; it was the willful assault on a delicate and divinely appointed organism” (267).  I would imagine that the builders of the stadium were not trying to make a “willful assault” on the creek.  They probably did not realize the creek’s history and beauty and therefore did not see any harm in infringing on it.   Or they had not had any personal experience or attachment to the creek.  If they had gone and sat by the creek, as we did last week, maybe they would have thought twice about changing it. 

 

Journal 11-Biology Ponds

        I walk by the biology ponds every day on the way to class.  I even cross the corner of the grassy field to get to the UGL faster. However, I had never actually spent any time there.  When we went there for class, I watched the people walking by.  I sat calmly under a tree and dropped leaves into the pond while students rushed by, checking their watches and talking on their cell phones.  I knew, however, that at 3:15 I would be just like them, running to class and thinking about the assignments I had to complete.  I am not sure how I would feel if I knew I had to stay at the biology ponds forever, that I had crossed the “hedge” and couldn’t return.  I would probably be excited at first, thinking that I would never have to work again.  “And I might have been happy too, if I could have forgotten that the place led nowhere” (450).  The truth is I would eventually start thinking “What about…” and I would want to progress, excel, and succeed.   I am almost programmed by society to want to compete and climb the ladder of success.  When we went to Waller creek, I told myself that I needed to spend more time outside, just sitting and watching.  I felt like if there were any more “undiscovered” spots on campus, that I wanted to find them before I graduated.  However, I got caught up in class etc. and forgot about my desire to roam around campus. As I walk around campus, “here at my feet what wonders pass, what endless, active life is here!” (458).  Most of the time I don’t even notice that it’s there. I am grateful for the reminders this class provides to stop and examine my “place” instead of just rushing around from class to class and semester to semester.

 

Journal 12- Littlefield House

        Would Ruskin think Littlefield is “True to Gothic Nature?”  Most all of his characteristics of Gothic architecture can be applied to Littlefield. Ruskin’s characteristic of “changefulness” is present at Littlefield.  The green railings were intricate with various details.  There were multiple types of wood making up the stairs. “There is a perpetual change in both design and execution, the workman must have been altogether set free” (165).  As I walked around the interior, I was constantly surprised at what I found.  For example, the circular alcove with the stained glass windows was unexpected. However, after reading the article on Medievalism, I realized that it wasn’t atypical.  One of the features of gothic style was “medieval stained glass” (516).  It appeared that the builder created what he thought would look nice instead of following a set style. “Every successive architect…built the pieces he added in his own way, utterly regardless of the style adopted by his predecessors” (169).  There was also evidence of “naturalism” in the foliage on the designs on the walls, on the armrests of some of the chairs, and at the tops of some of the columns. I saw evidence of the “grotesque” in the griffons on top of the mantle.  I also sensed “active rigidity” in the building.  From the outside, it appears polite and poised; however, upon closer examination, you notice that the curls and twists in the design have a certain energy.  “Redundancy” is present in the “accumulation of ornament” (543), the twists of the metal railings, the intricacies of the wooden walls, the drapes etc. 

            While I was sitting and drawing Littlefield, I was reminded of Hopkins and Ruskin.  In order to recreate the scene before me on the page, I had to concentrate on the details of the house and look at each piece to create a whole picture.  When Dr. Bump asked if anyone had ever been to Bishop’s Palace, I realized that I had probably gone there at some point with my parents.  I have barely any memory of it beyond the fact that I recognize the name.  However, because I sat and studied the details of the house in order to draw it, I know I will remember Littlefield clearly.  “Ruskin’s advice about drawing and Hopkins’ examples remind us of the importance of personal ‘attention and toil’ in our appreciation of nature” (361).  They warned that by simply taking a photograph, you may be missing ‘the good of it.’

 

Journal 13- Zilker Taniguchi Gardens

        I don't think I got to "read" this book as closely as I would have liked.  However, I did get a good sense of what the garden communicates.  Everything is very peaceful.  What moves does so in a very slow and calm way.  The Japanese fish slide through the water, the trees float back and forth in the wind, and the stream I am sitting next to runs quietly and smooth.  It is an antithesis to the bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Taniguchi is successful in his communication of a "peaceful coexistence of all the elements of nature" (492). Instead of trying to counteract the harsh, jarring, troubling attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, maybe he is trying to proved a "religious outlet" where people can go and obtain peace.  This place reminds me of a place I used to go to in St. Louis, St. Louis Botanical Gardens.  Part of it was a Japanese garden structured very much like this.  There were stones that you could walk on through the water.  There were big fish that I used to feed.  My mom loves gardens like this, so I have been to many in my lifetime.  However, I see gardens differently now than I did as a child going with my parents.  When I was a kid, I always wanted to do something interactive like playing in the fountain or feeding the fish.  Now, being in a garden like this is more of a restful experience.  It is still interactive, in that I respond to at observe  nature, but it is much less of a physical activity and more of a mental activity. Taniguchi was successful in making "a place for children to play, and for grown-ups to rest" (495) If there were a garden like this built for me, I would imagine that it would be similar to this.  I would want it to be near the city so that people could have somewhere to relax.  However, I would not want anyone to be able to see anything but nature at any place in the garden.  There would have to be lots of seasonal flowers so that people could say, "Let's go to Kristin's park to see the roses" in the spring.

 

Journal 14- Wordsworth at Cambridge

        Wordsworth describes what he learned from being out in nature.  He would often “leave the crowd, buildings and groves” and go out into nature, asking the earth and sky to “teach me what they might” (208-9).  This reminded me of Hopkins’ appreciation for nature.  He enjoyed sitting and drawing his own responses to his surroundings, concentrating on details.  “Hopkins’ drawing seems to be this attraction to the infinite number of things an infinite God has created” (352).  Wordworth’s might be doing a similar exercise here but in words.  He, too, gives purpose to every small rock and flower (209).  He preserves the way he felt at that time in his life, seeming to “stop the march of time” (358).   When Wordsworth says “all/ That I beheld respired with inward meaning,” is he talking about inscape, “the beauty of the intricate unity intrinsic in nature’s richest variety?” (209, 150). 

            I understand why the Shepherd feels loyalty towards his place in the poem on 156.   I like the idea that a place has a memory “like a book.”  In order to come in contact with these past memories, all the Shepherd has to do is just be there.  Sometimes, I’ll be driving down the road and see a tree or something and remember exactly what I was thinking about the last time I saw place.  Last year, I went back to my old high school to pick up a friend’s sister and as I walked through the halls I was bombarded by all these memories.  I was almost reliving it, feeling nervous that I was wearing the wrong shoes or that my shorts were too short and the vice principal was going to reprimand me.  I also like the idea that your book of memories can overlap with another person’s memories.  For example, you might feel some sort of connection standing in the same spot where a famous author once stood.  Wordsworth describes an incidence similar to this: “Beside the pleasant Mill of Trompington/ I laughed with Chaucer in the hawthorn shade;/ Heard him, while the birds were warbling, tell his tales of amorous passion” (211).  I checked and Chaucer died in 1400 and Wordsworth was born in 1770, so there is no way they could have been actually laughing together.  He may have been reading a book, but I think he might be communicating with him through the place.  Another example is Jude at Christminster, who “gave his thoughts to the other ghostly presences with which the nooks were haunted” (Hardy 64).

 

 Journal 15- French and Collegiate Gothic

            The reading about the Chartres Cathedral reminded me of our trip downtown.   At the St. Mary’s cathedral, Mary stood at the top of the pointed arch above the door.  There were other statues of her and pictures of her, and she seemed to be the focus of the cathedral.  In Chartes, “in the centre sits Mary, with her crown on her head and her Son in her lap, enthroned” (558). The author also suggests that she influences the architects’ decisions and refers to the characteristics of the church as the “Virgin’s taste” (561).  “The Virgin required chiefly these three things, or, if you like, these four: space, light, convenience; and colour decoration to unite and harmonize the whole” (560).   St. Mary’s, like Chartes, a large rose window above the door.  St. Mary’s may be more true to the Gothic characteristic of “changefulness,” as it is asymmetric with one side reaching higher than the other.  The Chatres Cathedral has more of a symmetric appearance with similar pointed steeples framing the main portion of the building.  On campus, the Madonna and children also appear on Sutton Hall above the windows.  Around the Madonna is ornamentation and embellishments characteristic of the Spanish Plasteresque style where “facades were embellished with faceted stones, shells and heraldic devices in profusion” (624). 

            The use of the griffins in the Littlefield house is an antimodern technique.   These beings were first used by the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. “Later on, statues of griffins would be placed at each corner of the roofs of their temples and treasuries, because it was said that the griffins guarded the large amount of gold in Scythia” (585-6).  The use of griffins could also be a sign of wealth.  There is evidence of excess and opulence throughout the house.  Extra fabric and tassels on the drapes show that the family had money to use on superfluities.  The extra circular room, which had no functional purpose, added to appearance of wealth.  The griffins are ornamentations which serve no added function to the integrity of the structure of the mantle.  Connected with the idea that they previously represent guardians of wealth, these griffins are a sign of affluence. They are also connected to Ruskin’s Gothic idea of “generosity,” and the “accumulation of ornament.”  

 

Journal 16- The Grotesque: Totem and Imaginary Beasts

        The idea that a place can be a book reminded me of our trip to Zilker Park on Sunday.  In our writing, we were supposed to, “think of this perhaps as a ‘book’ of stones, plants, and water that you are trying to ‘read’ with all your senses” (489).  Without knowing that this garden was built in response to the bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, I would have sensed that the ‘author’ of this garden tried to convey a sense of peace and calm. The slow running water, the smooth stones, and the lush vegetation made me feel calm. “From the beginning of things to the fifteenth century of the Christian era inclusive, architecture was the great book of human race” (577).  Architecture can be an expression of feeling, a snapshot of the way things were in a certain time period, and a work of art. In addition to the story the author tells, each person that reads the place adds his or her own story.  In the same way, great authors and academics who study in a certain university influence the place.  For example, when we think of Oxford, we think of the famous people who went there in addition to the place.  

            Similarly, gargoyles and totem animals are ‘books’ to be read and tell something about the history and people who chose them or lived amongst them. For example, one purpose of gargoyles was based on “the belief that frightening figures could scare away evil spirits” (584).  This statement says that the people of the time were superstitious or religious. Also, what people chose as their totem or focus of worship may also reveal information about the society.  For example, I don’t think a Minnesota school would have chosen a longhorn for their mascot; however, it’s a perfect choice for a Texas school.  The Minnesota school might pick something more appropriate to their culture and their environment.  In some ways, gargoyles and totems are opposites. One is grotesque and sits outside of society and the other is worshiped and placed in the center of society.  This idea reminded me of Zuleika and Jude.  Jude is a gargoyle in society.  He is cast out by the academic society in Christminster, and he ends up working as a stone mason.  He is an outsider, doing labor for the society that he wishes to be a part of.  Similarly, gargoyles have a functional relationship towards the cathedral:  “In the Gothic era…gargoyles were the preferred method of drainage” (585).  Zuleika Dobson, on the other hand, is like the totem animal.  She is “worshiped or esteemed by” members of Oxford (594B). I bet if there were shirts with Zuleika’s face on them, the undergraduates would buy them in the masses.  The Duke even trades in his society’s totem female for Zuleika.  “’No,’ he said, looking round the table, ‘I cannot give you Nellie O’Mora…I give you Zuleika Dobson, the fairest witch that ever was or will be!” (Beerbohm 129).

             The totem animal at A&M is Reveille, a collie.  She has the highest ranking in the military.  If she comes into your class and barks, you have to leave because it means that Reveille is bored.  If she jumps into your bed, you have to sleep elesewhere and give the dog your bed.  The graveyard for past Reveille’s was nicer than what is given to most humans.  I never felt this reverent respect toward her.  The closest I ever got to praising her was saying, “Isn’t she cute?” Maybe I felt like an outside there because I didn’t worship the totem animal.  At U.T., I feel more warmly towards Bevo.  I have a sticker of him on my car and a couple of shirts with the outline of his face on it.  Possibly, I feel more reverent towards Bevo because I respect the society more that chose him.

 

Journal 17- Pied Beauty Ranch

    It feels like I have been dropped here in this place.  I barely have any memory of getting here. I remember being in my apartment in the middle of Austin, and now I am sitting in the middle of a field.  I hear crickets and an airplane.  There is a donkey that keeps trying to eat my paper. He actually did eat the assignment page.  Raj and I are sitting on a cement block. Romeo has got Raj by the shirt and won't let go.  It's funny watching him because he's not exactly sure what to do. If I was here one hundred years ago, I might feel accustomed to a place like this and not a place like the city.  It might not be an unusual occurrence for a donkey to be trying to eat my clothes.  Now I am going to move away from the donkey.

    I found a golf ball that probably wouldn't have been here one hundred years ago. I can tell this is Texas (or a warm climate) because there are cactus and longhorns. There are spider webs hanging from the trees, and they make the branches glitter. It feels a lot different in the "forest" than in the big open space. There is a sense of mystery and magic, that anything could be around the corner.  I just heard a rooster, and they really do say something that sounds like "cokadoodledoo." Sometimes the animal sounds given to animals make no sense.  For example, pigs do not say "oink."  They snore and grunt.

       Looking down from the sky, this place would be ideal if it had a river or a stream.  However, nothing is keeping me from being completely happy here.  The weather is perfect, like the day we went to Waller Creek.  I am enjoying just sitting here and listening.  It is like no stress can get into my head.  Just to test this notion, I tried to think of something stressful, and it didn't work.  I got distracted by my beautiful surroundings!

 

Journal 18- Antimodernism

“However, antimodernism is typically backward-looking — it looks to the past for inspiration for the direction of the future.” 
This idea relates to our first project.  We looked to famous people of the past and focused our projects on our communication with them.  I met with Samuel Johnson at 18th century Oxford.  I remember reading other people’s projects who asked their historic figure for advice on writing and the English major.  Also, Jude communicates with past figures.  Walking around the academic buildings at Christminster, he “gave his thoughts to the other ghostly presences with which the nooks were haunted” (Hardy 64).  In addition, reading literature in general is an attempt to connect with the past.  We read John Henry Newman’s article to try to understand our place and the origin of the university. 
 
The places we visited were also an attempt to connect with the past.  When we visited St. Mary’s cathedral and the Driskill hotel, we looked at the architecture of different time periods.  The visit to Waller Creek allowed us to see what it was like before any buildings were built. We walked on the limestone that housed the fossils of previous animals and leaves.  Our “Return to Childhood” day was an exercise in “backward-looking.”  I colored a picture of X-men. Although we weren’t looking back to another age, we were looking back to our childhood and trying to use our childhood curiosity to play with play-doh and markers.
 
“While not necessarily anti-technology by nature, antimodernism typically either considers technology's utilisation in the modern world to be misapplied and misguided, or else that it should be regarded as a lesser priority of human endeavour than, say, social cohesion or devotion to traditional religious and other cultural values.”
This is related to Hopkins’ and Ruskin’s view of photography.  They believed that when you take a quite picture, you miss out on communicating with the place.   “Ruskin’s advice about drawing and Hopkins’ examples remind us of the importance of personal ‘attention and toil’ in our appreciation of nature.” They called the technology of photography “mechanical drawing” and believe that it has contributed to making their own response to nature mechanical” (361).  Antimodernism also believed that technology is “misapplied.”

 

Journal 19- All Saint's Chapel

    I am surprised that the writing on the scrolls is in English.  I would expect it to be in Latin.  The most interesting part is the center.  It says "Truly this man was the son of God."  I agree that this picture is of Jesus because I have seen it reproduced in many other places.  But, if I had had no religious background, why would this picture show me that this man dying on the a cross is truly the son of God?  Is it the beams of light radiating around him? Is it the cross behind his head? Is it the man looking awe-struck in his direction? However, then I see he is healing a blind man in the right bottom corner.  I see the empty tomb.  There is a white dove in the top right corner.  Is that a symbol of hope?  For Noah, it was a symbol of hope that there was dry land.  When I saw the title of this window, I wondered, why is this St. Mark's window and not Jesus'? His symbol, the winged lion, king of beasts is at the top of the window.  Maybe this window is Mark's retelling of Jesus' life, his version. 

    When I was a kid, my family went to church that had huge stained glass windows.  Instead of listening to the sermons, I would stare at them and study their details.  Though I didn't hear the pastor's sermon, I learned the stories from these windows.  I particularly remember the story of the seed that fell on rocky ground, thorns, and soil. 

    Back to the window--why is a shell a symbol of baptism? Is it because they are found near the water?

    "This is my Beloved Son Hear Him."  It is interesting that they chose the term "stained glass" for windows of a church.  "Stained" usually implies tainted or impure.  I can't think of anything better though.

    My Higher Purpose:  Maybe I could be a "stained glass window" in the flesh.  People could learn the stories of the Bible from me.  I wouldn't have to tell them verbally or draw attention to myself.  Maybe they could just see it on their own.

 

Journal 20- Unity

        “Hammer your thoughts into unity” (759). Initially I thought that “hammering” was too strong a metaphor for unifying your thoughts.  However, I eventually found that it fits well.  Unifying your thoughts is usually not easy; it takes forceful actions to push thoughts together in your brain.  Therefore, “guide” or “direct” your thoughts into unity would be inappropriate.  Also, it often takes an external force (i.e. Dr. Bump) to push us in the right direction.  Some ideas were easier to connect than others, just as some nails are hammered into wood more easily than others.  It took consistent action and “hammering” to inch closer to the goal of unity.  One example is the day we connected this class to two of our other classes.  For some people, connections were easy; but for others, it took much more effort.  This “hammering” is a valuable skill, because what is the use of everything we learn in school if we cannot connect it to the “real world”?

            I have learned from this class that everything can be connected, and that we can benefit from this unifying perception.  Even people can be connected biologically.   “One of the claims of modern biology is that all life on Earth is descended from one common ancestor” (420).  Darwin thought of this biological connection as a tree where “the green and budding twigs may represent existing species; and those produced during each former year may represent the long succession of extinct species” (417). My classes and ideas that I have learned can be thought of in a similar way:  the different classes all branch from the same trunk.  There is a “distinction [but not a] separation” (771).  By concentrating on the differences between things, we often miss the unity of those things.  In the same way, “by looking only at opposite poles of these or other dichotomies we tend to ignore everything between them and we fail to recognize the dependency of each pole on the other or the possibilities of the simultaneous presence of both and of a larger whole which contains both opposites” (763).  This reminds me of something I learned in my Audiology class.  We often think of people who have a hearing loss as “deaf.”  However, actually very few people are completely deaf.  Hearing loss is a continuum running from perfect hearing to complete deafness.  Very few people lie at either end, and most of the population lies somewhere in between.  Our culture, instead of thinking of the two as related, thinks of hearing and hearing loss as two separate categories.  This way of thinking adds to the isolation of people with hearing losses. 

            We know that focusing on the whole picture is a good way to fully understand a topic.  May dad used to try to coach me on my math homework and his favorite phrase was always, “if you would understand the principle…”  When reading text, we don’t read the individual letters, but the word as a whole.  It is very difficult and unproductive to look at each letter as an independent entity.  Therefore, it is instinctual for us to, in some cases, look at the whole of something rather than the individual parts.  So it should be easy for us to connect our thoughts.  However, I said at the beginning that it was a sometimes difficult process that requires effort and persistence.  Why do we think of things as separate when it is against our instincts?

 

 

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