From Aggieland to Wonderland
By Kristin Hatfield
Sweat was pouring down my face as I looked desperately at the scoreboard. “Will this ever end?” I thought as I rubbed my aching legs and tried to block the sun from my already-burned face. Glancing at the scoreboard again, I turned to my roommate, Erin, and said, “I’m going. I’ll meet you at home.”
[1] “What? You can’t leave now! We are only two touchdowns behind! Plus, Aggies never leave a football game
early. You’ll be a two-percenter[2] if
you go.”
“I don’t care. I’m leaving. I can’t stand up another minute.”
I started to squeeze by the other students in my row when suddenly everyone bent over and grabbed their knees, and I heard, “Hump it Ags!” from below. I knew my escape would be postponed until the yell was finished, so I joined in and mouthed the cheers. I recognized the cheer as the “Horse Laugh” from the minute it started.
“Riffety, riffety, riff-raff!
Chiffity, chiffity,
chiff-chaff!
Riff-raff! Chiff-chaff!
Let's give 'em a horse laugh:
Sssssss!”
When all the whooping and hissing decreased to a consistent clapping, I
started walking quickly on the metal bleachers.
I 
“was
beginning to get very
[3] tired” of all this yelling and standing.[4] Still a sophomore, I was on the third deck of
Kyle Field, and I had a long way to go before reaching the ground. I went down the stairs as quickly as I could
to avoid being called a “two-percenter” by those who realized I was leaving
early. I took my first full breath of
cool air when I reached the spiral ramp.
I knew I would have to walk down at least twelve turns before reaching
the gate. The ramp was deserted, and I
was happy to be alone. “Man, I must have gotten really overheated, because I am
starting to feel lightheaded,” I thought as my surroundings blurred in and out
of focus. Next thing I knew, I was
sliding 
effortlessly
down the ramp. Maybe the ramp was longer
than I had remembered or, I “fell very slowly, for [I] had plenty of time as
[I] went down to look about [me],
[5] and to wonder what was going to happen
next.”[6] As
I looked around, I noticed a collie floating down next to me. I reached out to pet it and realized it was
Reveille. “Hi Rev! I’ve never actually had the opportunity to pet you,” I said
as I ran my hand over her shiny coat.
Then I heard a clatter and turned around to see, leaving my hand on
Reveille’s back. As I strained to
identify the noise, I felt the soft, silky fur turn to bristly, short hair.
Shocked, I spun around and something hard poked me in the eye. While I rubbed my
injured eye, I opened the other to see what had assaulted me.
Initially, I saw a horn protruding from a very large animal. I quickly
realized what it was. Sliding and
[7] floating down the endless ramp next to me was
an orange longhorn. “What are you doing
here?” I said, but the longhorn simply smiled.
I wondered how long I had been falling and when this nonsense would
stop.[8] I thought about Fletch, my turtle, and
wondered who would feed him if I were gone for more than one day.[9]
Just
as I was considering how long Fletch would survive without food, I landed on
top of the longhorn. He ran away quickly
from under me because a few cowboys were calling him. I fell to the
grassy lawn beneath me and lay barely conscious for the next five minutes. I
opened my eyes and found that I was lying directly underneath an immense clock
tower. Trees and 
buildings
were lining either side of the lawn.
“Where am I?” I thought as I looked down to wipe pieces of grass and
dirt from my hands. I jumped in surprise
because my “Maroon Out” shirt that I had
[10] worn to the football game had turned to a
burnt orange shirt with a picture of that longhorn on it! “I must be at the
One hour later I was still wandering the campus. It was getting very dark, and judging by the clock tower, it was past my bedtime. “Tomorrow I will have to find a place to live,” I mumbled as I leaned up against a tree and fell asleep. The next day, I wandered from apartment to apartment trying to find one that fit my needs. There were apartments everywhere, but I could not seem to find one that I liked. [12] I must have gone to thirty different apartments before I sat down on the curb to cry in frustration.[13] As I sat trying to disguise my tears, the clouds opened, and it started to pour. I ran to the first shelter I could find. Aggravated, I wrung out my shirt which was now dripping orange dye. A lady dressed in business causal noticed my distress and stopped to help. “Is everything okay sweetie?”
“NO! I have been trying to find an apartment all day without any luck. Now, I am soaked.”
[14] “Well, have you tried this one? I am part of the team that manages this
apartment. We have some great deals
going on. Would you like to come into my
office and see?”
I had not even realized that I was standing in front of an apartment complex. I must have wandered to it while I was looking for shelter from the rain. I followed her into the office. After explaining the apartment policies, I agreed to sign a lease. As she went over the key points, I stopped her. “Speak English! I don’t know the meaning of half those long words, and, what’s more, I don’t believe you do either!” [15]
“Sorry, it’s basically a standard lease. Just sign here. So, are you a student at U.T.?”
“I guess so. I just got here today.”
“Freshman?”
“No, but I sure do feel like one.”
The
next day, I walked to campus to try and find an advisor in my major. Just as I
was walking up the steps of the six-pack, a girl dressed in a fur coat came
rushing by me. She was focusing so intently on the
clock tower that she almost ran right into me. “Excuse me! Excuse me! I am going to be
late! Dr. Schweiger is going to be so
mad if I don’t turn this in.”[16] As I squinted at her from a distance, I
noticed a fur tail protruding from the bottom of her coat. The more I looked, the more I 
thought
that she looked quite rabbit-like.
[17] I wandered into the first building that I reached, Homer Rainey Hall. As I climbed the stairs, a woman carrying a stack of papers passed me in the opposite direction. “Excuse me, ma’am? Could you tell me where the English Advising Office is?”
“Parlin Hall. You missed it by two buildings. I believe it’s on the first floor.”
I thanked her and continued walking towards the tower. Finding the office, I knocked on the door. “Come in!” I heard from within the room.
“Hi, I am a new transfer student
from A&M, and I think I need to sign up for classes,” I said to a woman
sitting at her desk.
“Kristin. Kristin Hatfield.”
“Okay
Kristin, what classes have you taken so far?”[20]
As I recited my class names, I
stuttered trying to remember the exact course numbers. She would periodically
stop me to tell me that a certain class wouldn’t transfer or apply to my major.[21]
“Okay Kristin, here is a list of the classes you need to take. If you are interested in British Literature, you need to choose classes from this side of the list. If you are interested in American Literature you need to choose classes from this side of the list. You need to have one Area IV class and two Area I classes….”[22] I stopped listening after the fourth mention of an “Area.” As I walked out of her office, I began to look at the list. I studied it for a long time before randomly deciding to take a short story class, English grammar, and music appreciation.[23] I peeked back in the office and asked, “What day do classes start?”
“Well, they start today, of course!”
[24] “Oh no, oh no…” I mumbled as I walked
quickly out of the building. My schedule
said I was supposed to be in music appreciation at 11:00 A.M. I looked at my watch and saw that I still had
time to find the building M.R.H. The
map showed that I needed to move in the north-east direction. “If I could get
to the top of that hill,”[25]
maybe I could see a path or a road that goes in that direction. Curiously, each time I started on a path it
seemed to bend and twist farther from my goal.
“It’s more like a corkscrew than a path!”[26] After walking for what seemed like an hour, I
sat down on a bench and looked at my map.
“Okay, this is the H.R.C. in front of me according to that sign…and
let’s see…the map says I am right next to….”
I turned around and saw the side of the Parlin building. I must have been going in circles, because I
ended up right where I started.
“You look lost,” said a voice from behind me. Spinning around, I frantically searched for the source of that voice.
“Who’s there?” I yelled.
“My
name is
“
“I wouldn’t know. I hardly ever leave; I am quite content to stay here.”
“I can’t see you anywhere. Are you invisible?”
“I’m up here. I am much larger than my normal size. You must be blind to not see me.”
I lead my eyes in the direction of the voice, and saw a picture of a young girl etched in glass.[27]
[28] “How can you—?”
“Don’t be silly. I am a girl just like you are.”
“Aren’t
you—?”
“You may have heard of my
adventures in Wonderland.”
“Yes! Come down here!”
“I’m afraid I can’t. I can, however, give you some advice. Don’t try and make sense of this place; it is how it is.”
“What
does that mean,
[31] “Leave me alone!” I screamed as I tried to run from the
building.[32] Sketches by Max Beerbohm jumped into my path
as I scrambled away. I ran and ran
until I was out of breath. I came upon a
building that had “
[34] “I know, I am having a rough day too,”
I said to the skeletons, “I wish—“ I was
interrupted by a rumbling, and one skeleton shifted its head to look at
me. After all that had happened that
day, I was not very surprised. As I
looked closer, a tear rolled down the skeleton’s face.[35]
“What’s wrong? What happened to you?”[36]
[37] A low rumble came from within the
skeleton, and his first words were strained, like he hadn’t spoken in hundreds
of years. “I’ll tell you my story, but
you mustn’t speak until I have finished.[38] I came from a world where everything was
beautiful. The trees were lush, the sky
was blue, and I had so many friends to play with. Also, I was the predator, and no one ever
tried to control me. Now, I am pinned to
this rock with a bunch of dead guys! Would you help me get free?”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Why?” he said between sobs, “I’ve
been nothing but nice to you!”
[39] I noticed that his tears were forming a pool of water around my feet. I looked nervously for an escape. “Dinosaur tears are quite large.” As I said these words, I slipped and fell into a large pool of salty water.[40] I am not a great swimmer, so I splashed and choked while trying to keep above water.
I must have blacked out for a moment, because I woke up on
a large pontoon boat. I was thankful to
be out of the water because swimming was becoming very tiring. However, I began to wonder how I got here and
what I was doing here. The boat was very crowded with many people dressed in
various costumes. One girl wore a large
black hat with fur on the 
edges. Another girl
wore a colorful blanket, and it looked like she was smoking a long pipe. I raised my hand to ask what I was doing
here, and I realized that my arm felt much heavier than usual. I gasped as I looked down
[41] at my arm, which
was thick and wobbly like blubber. Next
to my arm was a long bony protrusion, which I eventually identified as a tusk.
“Excuse me,” I said to the carpenter next to me, “what happened to me?”
“What do you mean, Walrus?”
“Wait a minute, did you just call me
Walrus?”
“Don’t start acting silly now. It is almost our turn!”
“Almost our turn for what?” As I
said these words he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the middle of the boat.
Sand appeared and began to pile up around my feet, and suddenly I began to
cry. I heard myself say “If this were
only cleared away, it would be grand!”[42] However, I was soon distracted by a crowd of
tasty looking oysters. I reached out to
taste one, but I was stopped by the sound of rushing water. I turned to look,
but I was swallowed by the tide. I
flailed my arms and 
swallowed water while trying to keep afloat. The boat disappeared, and my body returned
to its original size.[43] I was washed up in front of Parlin again. I wrung out my shirt and went inside to find some towels. As I pushed through the green doors, a man
with a white beard and a black hat came walking through the crowd. His hat had a white note
[44]
on the side that said: “In this style 10/6.”[45] He walked into a crowd of students, opened a
door, and
then walked into a room with the trail of students following behind. I was curious, so I followed. The room was set up for class, and the Mad
Hatter began orchestrating what sounded like a poem. He pointed to one student in a white shirt,
and the student responded, “Radical Raj, Rocking Rachel, Amiable Amy…”
“Excuse me,” I said as I tapped the
Mad Hatter on the shoulder, “What is going on?”
[46] “Here, have a schedule!”
“Wait, what is this schedule for? What do these letters mean?”
The Mad Hatter shook his head, smiled, and turned to me. “You’re in this world now,” he said as he held open an Alice in Wonderland pop-up book. Suddenly I identified with that young girl and wondered if I might be dreaming. Word Count (2,700)