Alice’s Adventures in Bevoland
Alice had grown since her last adventure through
the looking glass. She was beginning
college at the University of Texas at Austin. She dreamed of the adventures she would have
and the curious people she would meet.
Down the Freshman-Hole
Alice was getting sleepy
as her professor lectured in a monotone voice.
It was only the first week of her first semester at the University of Texas
at Austin and
she was already tired of this class. She
could not help but think of all the other things she could be doing; she wanted
to be outside exploring the depths of this new place. Alice
tried to stay awake, but her eyes were fluttering and it was hard to keep them
open. She was just dozing off when,
suddenly, a longhorn ran by her through the center aisle of the lecture hall;
she could not help but jump up from her seat and chase after him.
“Oh
Mr. Longhorn, wait! Where are you going?”
“I’m
late, I’m late, the Dean will surely be mad!!!”
Alice continued to run
after the longhorn, with the hope that she could find out where he was
going—perhaps a place on campus she had not seen before. She chased the longhorn as it ran into
Parlin, up the stairs, through the hall, back down the stairs, and out the
door. His hooves stomped through the
grass of the six-pack garden, up the stairs toward the tower, and around to the
side entrance of the Main building. Alice was running out of
breath, but she could not stop chasing the longhorn. She was so curious about where he was going
and why he was running around as if he were mad!
He ran through the first-floor hallway of the
main tower and disappeared around a corner.
As Alice
neared the corner, she slipped and fell through a hole that was being patched
up in the floor, and she began to quickly fall far down into the unknown. Luckily, Alice had an umbrella in her backpack that
she used to slow down her fall. “Where
am I going? I never knew this hole
existed. ‘I wonder if I shall fall right
through the earth’! That would surely be devastating.” Alice
examined the muddy walls of the hole. As
she looked up to its dark entrance, she suddenly felt her feet touch something
solid, and she stumbled to the ground.
She got up and dusted herself off as she looked around in great curiosity. To her right, there was a tunnel with a light
at the end. “Surely I have not died,” Alice said to
herself. Alice walked toward the light as it led her
to a room. She walked into the room and
saw a woman standing behind a counter with a sign posted on it that read:
“Admissions.” She walked up to the
woman. “Have you seen a longhorn run
through here?”
“No
Miss, I have not. What can I do for
you?”
“I’m
Alice. I just want to find the longhorn that I was
chasing. I want to know why he is running
around in a panic. I would like to meet
him to ask him why.”
“You
are going to have a hard time catching Bevo.
But, I can let you into Bevoland if you pass the test.”
“Test? What test?,” asked Alice.
“You
have to sing The Eyes of Texas,
perfectly.”
“Oh,
I can do this. I know I can. I have only been to one football game, but I
know it. 'The eyes of Texas are upon you, all the live long
day. The eyes of Texas are upon you, you cannot stray away'.”
“WRONG! It is not ‘stray’, stupid girl!”
At that moment Alice began to
shrink. “What is happening? Why am I shrinking? I do not want to be this small! ‘I must be shutting up like a telescope’.” Alice
began to cry. “And so it was indeed: she
was now only ten inches high.”
“Okay,
okay. Stop your blubbering. I will give you another chance, girl. And if you sing it correctly, then I will
make you taller again. You must start
from the beginning!”
“Okay. I know I can do it this time. The eyes of Texas
are upon you…,” Alice sang it with such passion that the
admissions woman actually shed a tear.
“…’till Gabriel blows his horn!”
“Bravo! Bravo!
Now I can let you in.”
Alice returned to her
normal size and walked through the door that the woman opened for her. The last words she heard the woman say were,
“Be careful in there. ‘We’re all mad
here’.”
A Curious Land
Alice
walked through a small door that led her to the South Mall. She walked by a great fountain that had metal
demons running through its waters. Alice
circled the fountain, examining the metal figures. She watched the water splash around the
demons; it caused them to appear as if they were running through the water and
it brought their ghosts to life.
“What are you
staring at girly? Do we look weird to
you? Are we scary?”
“Oh, no, I am
terribly sorry. I do not mean to offend
you. It is just that you are so
interesting...y…y…y…you can talk?”
In unison, the
figures became upset and responded to Alice’s
apology. “Of course we can talk! Do you think we are merely lifeless pieces of
metal?”
“No! I just did not know that statues could
speak. I do beg your pardon. Perhaps, you could help me. I’m looking for the longhorn. You see, he brought me here. Rather, I brought myself, but he was running
so fast that I could not help but be curious and chase after him.”
The statues stared
at Alice and
eventually loosened the tight scowls on their faces. One of the males spoke, “It will take a long
time to catch him. You must go to the
stadium. That is where he must be,
eventually. But, he is always ‘late for
a very important date’.”
“Which
direction shall I go to find the stadium?”
“That
depends. Do you want to go the long way
or the short way, the fast way or the slow way, the high-way or the low-way”.
“I
suppose it does not matter. But, I do
need to get back to Dinah. That’s my
kitty. She probably misses me and
wonders where I am. I will go the fast
way.”
“To
go the fast way, you must follow that path to the right. You will run into some signs pointing you in
the right direction. Do not follow those
signs, for they will take you the slow way.
Instead, do the opposite and follow the signs that say slow way, in
order to go the fast way.”
“But,
why is that? That does not make any
sense.”
“Has
no one told you that every one here is mad?”
“Oh,
yes, that’s right. It is a mad
land….Thank you!” Alice was on her way; she turned to her right
looking for the first of the signs when her attention quickly turned to the
longhorn that hurriedly ran past her.
“Please stop Mr.
Longhorn, sir! I just want to talk to
you.” But, he kept running. Alice
tried to chase him for a minute, but quickly gave up, for she knew that he was
still too fast for her to catch.
At the Pond
The longhorn had
led Alice to
another interesting spot; it was the biology pond. Near the pond was a group of people who were
sitting on the lawn, writing in journals.
It was a class of about eighteen and their
professor. He wore a tall black hat that
had a piece of paper taped to its side.
It read: In this style 10/6. Alice
wanted to know what the class was doing.
She remembered that hat from her earlier adventures in Wonderland. Isn’t
that the Mad Hatter’s hat?, she thought.
Alice approached the class and was pleased to
find that they warmly welcomed her. The
man in the black hat smiled and said, “Well, look who we have here. It is Alice! She has come to teach the class.”
The class
applauded Alice
and she blushed, for she was astounded that they knew who she was. She said to the man in the black hat, “Hello,
I am Alice. Have we met before? I think it was at your tea party with the
Hare and the Door-mouse? Perhaps you
could help me.”
“No, no. I am not the Hatter. But, my class has read about your adventures
in Wonderland and we all know about the tea party. Some of them even performed a skit as if they
were the characters at the party.”
“That is cheery.”
“Do you need help
with something, Alice?”
“I am looking for
the longhorn. He keeps running, I keep
chasing, and then I keep ending up in different places. I just want to get to the stadium.”
“Well that is
easy!” The professor pointed as he
explained, “Just go down that way, find the creek,
and follow it until you are across the street from the stadium.”
“Oh, that is
simple! Thank you! Then, I must be going. Good-bye!”
Alice walked
east toward the pond, eager to find the stadium and the longhorn.
The Dums of Waller Creek
Alice soon approached the creek and found
that it was more beautiful than she had ever thought it would be. She walked along the bed humming a little
tune. “Oh Mr. Longhorn, where are
you? Why do you run as fast as you do?
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I’ll
find the stadium and catch up to you.”
Alice was still humming when she heard a
peculiar noise coming from behind a bush that was planted to the left of where
she stood. “Is any body there?,” Alice asked. “Hello.
Dinah, is that you?”
“Who’s Dinah?” A little voice popped up behind Alice’s ear and startled
her.
“Can
we meet Dinah?” Another little voice, of
the same high pitched tone, popped up behind Alice’s other ear.
Alice turned around and found two little men
standing in front of her.
They were funny men who wore colorful baseball
caps that propellers sticking up from the tops of them. On one of the men’s shirt collar was the name
“Dee” and on the other man’s collar was the
name “Dum.” Alice
stood and stared at them for a moment.
“If you think we’re wax-works, you
ought to pay, you know. Wax-works
weren’t made to be looked at for nothing.
Nowhow”!
“That is not what I thought. I was just surprised by the two of you. And,…your peculiar names. I am following the creek, so I can find the
stadium and the longhorn.”
“The Longhorn! Why?
Did he take something of yours?,” asked Dee.
“No.”
“Did he eat your cookies?,” asked
Dum
Alice began to get frustrated. “No, he did not take anything from me.”
Dee
chimed in again. “Ooo! I know what it must be. He broke your favorite rattle!”
“No!
I do not even have a rattle. Stop
being so silly!”
“Do
you want to hear a story?,” asked Dum.
“No, I really do not. I just want to find the longhorn.”
“Then, perhaps, you can help us
solve a problem.” Dum cried out as he
pointed at Dee, “He broke my 'Eyes of Texas'
bottle opener. It was new! It played a song!” Dum hollered and wailed and sobbed like there
would never to be another singing bottle opener made, ever.
Alice did not know what to do with the two
little men. However, she did know that
she still had to find the stadium and that she was running out of time. The sun would go down in a couple of hours
and the stadium was not even in sight.
The “fat little men”
continued to argue as Alice
quietly slipped off further into the woods that surrounded the creek.
A Mad Celebration
The
creek bed was growing monotonous and Alice
was getting a bit disconcerted. Then,
suddenly, she began to feel her feet rattle and her ears shake. There was a
loud noise that came from beyond the forest.
“I should find out where this noise is coming from,” Alice said to herself. She walked until she found a tall tree that
she climbed up and sat in. Alice looked out to the
east and saw a boisterous crowd scurrying into a building. At last, it was the stadium! 
She quickly climbed down the tree
and headed toward the stadium. Surely
the longhorn could be found there! Alice approached an
entrance to the stadium and stood behind a long line of anxious fans. She tried to ask if any one had seen the
longhorn, but all of the people were so concerned with themselves that poor Alice was shoved
around.
When
Alice finally
got into the stadium she walked out toward the stadium seats. She saw celebrating fans, a marching band
playing music, and a game of football taking place on the field.
Alice
looked all around for the longhorn. When
she finally spotted him, Alice
was frightened of what she saw. “Oh,
no! He is tied up,” Alice gasped.
Two men were holding him with a rope that was tied around his
snout. The longhorn was kicking and
screaming and trying to get out. But,
the two men would not let him go. “I
hope the Red Queen is not here, for she would say ‘Off with his head’. I know I heard the longhorn say something
about the Dean being upset if he were late.
I hope he is nothing like the Queen!”
Alice
felt she must do something about this, for she did not like to see the poor
longhorn tied up. She would come up with
a plan. But what could she do?
Suddenly, a girl ran past her, screaming, “They are going
to eat him! They will cut off his
head! They are going to eat him! Please stop!
Please stop the madness!”
Alice thought that this girl might be able to
help her come up with a plan to free the longhorn. She ran after the girl. “Wait! I can help you! Please wait!”
The girl turned around and looked at Alice.
“Alice!
Please help me free Bevo! The Dean
wants to execute him and I cannot bare the thought of that.”
Alice did not know this girl and wondered how
the girl knew her name. “Do I know you?”
“You came to my class earlier; we
were by the biology ponds. My name is Taylor. You spoke with my professor, Dr. Bump, and he
told you that our class has read about your adventures in Wonderland.”
“Oh, yes. How flattering that was! So,…would you like me to help you free the
longhorn?”
“Of course I do. I cannot let Bevo be executed and eaten. He is our mascot; he reminds us of our pride
in this college and its traditions. He
represents everything burnt orange in this mad land! Do you have any suggestions as to how we can
free him?”
“Well, it has been hard to come up
with a plan. If the Dean is anything
like the Red Queen, then I do not want get too close to him!”
Alice thought of her encounter with the Red
Queen and of how afraid she was when the queen wanted to execute her. She also thought about the many times that
she changed in size, while in Wonderland.
“I think I have an idea! We need
to grow as large as I grew when I ate the mushroom. We must find a mushroom! If Bevoland is as mad as Wonderland, then
surely we will grow very large if we eat ‘a morsel of the left-hand bit’.”
The girls agreed that Alice had a good
idea. If they were larger than all of
the people at the stadium, then they could rescue Bevo. They thought the best place to find a
mushroom would be near Waller Creek; they headed toward it. They waded through the water and plowed
through the foliage. Then, Taylor shouted to Alice,
“Hey! I found a mushroom. Hurry!
Let’s eat it.”
The girls each took a bite from the left side of the
mushroom and they grew very tall. 
Now,
they were large enough to run through the stadium and get Bevo, without being
caught. The girls could pick up and move
any person who tried to get in their way.
Alice and Taylor stomped over the creek and back to the stadium; it took
them to long strides to get there. When
they got to the stadium, they were too big to walk through the entrance, so
they jumped over the bleachers and onto the field. Bevo was still tied up.
“Look Alice!
There is Bevo. Oh no! The Dean is standing next to him.” The Dean looked intensely upon the longhorn,
red with furry that steamed out of his ears.
When Alice
looked over, she thought, “He must somehow be related to the Red Queen!” As the two girls walked toward Bevo, the Dean’s
face turned white with fright and the crowd’s faces were even paler. Alice
trudged across the field as she headed toward the longhorn. Taylor
plodded toward the Dean, thinking that she could distract and scare him. Alice
thought to herself, “I will simply pick the little longhorn up in my hand. Taylor and I can take him with us, go back to
the mushroom, and eat the right side of it. Then, we will shrink back to our normal sizes.”
Alice closed her eyes as she reached her long, heavy arm toward
the longhorn. She felt something much
fuzzier than what she thought a longhorn would feel like. Alice
opened her eyes and saw that Dinah was in her arms. “Oh Dinah!
I forgot that I put you in my book-bag with me. I do love you, Dinah! I missed you while I was away!” Alice
was back in her classroom, right as the bell rang.
Word Count: 3,665
