Journal 6

Amanda Dulcinea Cuéllar

To be part of a group is essential, but what is it that makes us belong? Upon observing a pack of wolves hunting, a group of Catholics at worship or a Native American pow-wow, it becomes evident that every member of the group has a specific place in the ceremony. They all seem to know the meaning of the event and how to contribute to its execution. By participating in traditions we identify with a place and a group, be it our religion, culture, or nation.

At UT, our traditions distinguish those who are from UT Austin from the “outsiders.” What do we all do when we hear that song that outsiders would call “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad”? Every UT alum and student holds up their hands, makes the “hook’em horns” symbol, and sings “The Eyes of Texas” proudly. What does any longhorn think of when he sees ATM? Do the words Automated Teller Machine form in his mind? Or does he think of his arch-rivals, the Aggies? It is these traditions that unite generations of UT students despite the disparity of age and further distances those who can’t claim our University as their alma mater.

I automatically became a part of this exclusive group when I was admitted to the university.  At the annual barge party of the Waco chapter of the Texas Exes I first became aware of this fact. In honor of being chosen as a recipient of the Waco chapter of the Texas Exes scholarship, I was invited to their annual barge party. The barge left from an upscale country club in Waco that alone made me feel a bit out of place, never mind the fact that I knew none of the people that would be at the party. Nonetheless my awkwardness dissolved when I began to converse with past UT students. They welcomed me warmly and recounted anecdotes of their lives in college, as though we were already well acquainted. Near the end of the party we sang they “Eyes of Texas” in unison. As we all held our hands up and sang, I felt an affinity with these strangers whose group I would now forever be a part of.

            Yet traditions can also exclude those who aren’t a member of the group. Newcomers at Christminster are likely to be as confused as Jude should they take the time to count the tolls of the bell in the evening. Like Jude, they would likely think that they had made a mistake and that the hundred-and-one chimes they counted “was meant for a hundred” (Hardy, pg. 73). Though Jude soon became accustomed to this Christminster peculiarity and learned that it signaled the dismissal of the scholars, this did not make him necessarily a part of the gown society.  This is quite obvious when Sue, Jude and the children return to Christminster for Remembrance Day. It is on this occasion that Jude again is faced with his utter inability to penetrate Christminster gown society. Though Jude observes familiar buildings and is reunited with past acquaintances, it is the town society solely that he has been able to build an affinity with. It is but a wooden barrier and a colored robe he can never posses that separates him from that academic society he so longs to join. He watches from the fringes this tradition he can never be a part of. The graduates, fellow Christminster citizens, pass before him “like inaccessible planets across an object glass” (Hardy, 318). Though Jude may have been equal or superior to many of the graduates in his learning and perseverance, he is prohibited from entering the theater, and must strain by the building to “catch a few words of the Latin speech” (Hardy, 318).      

The exclusive quality of traditions is evident to anyone who has stared in puzzlement at a ceremony they cannot understand nor take part in. It is this mystery that marginalizes some and strengthens the alliance between the group members. It is the traditions of UT that make me feel at home when I see the lit tower in the distance and compulsively shout ‘FIGHT’ every time someone calls out ‘TEXAS.’ While UT traditions have helped me establish my place here at the university, they are also to blame for alienating the Judes on campus; much like the gowns and caps of Christminster definitively banned Jude from his dream.