Project 2A: My Suggestions To Others

Puja Parekh

One general thing: you might want to change the background/color of the text to make it easier to read- the black on black is kind of difficult to see.

“He loves it when strangers come up and talk to him; especially when they are fans of his movies.”

This might just be a personal preference, but I think you can remove “it” from this sentence; it seems unnecessary.

To make the project better as a whole: for some reason, when I typed in the keywords, the bot responded, “I don’t understand that.”

Benjamin Gustaffson

“An extraordinary sense of order and cleanliness contrast sharply with the mass of students surrounding a surprisingly young looking man [1].”

I think there should be an “s” at the end of “contrast” since “sense” is singular.

To expand the project, you could include more detail on the opening page, such as the commands. I found it confusing to try to figure out what the commands were; it seemed to spit a lot of “computer language” at me.

Good job- I liked the vivid description you gave at the beginning!

Sharon Liao

“I also had no ideas as to who my next project would be about.”

I’m not sure about this sentence—I think “idea” should be singular or change the sentence to “I also had no ideas for who I would explore in my next project.”

To expand your paper, I think you could expand on this sentence in the closing: “As I walked out of the Plan II office, I realized that I had not only set out on my own path but also found a new ghost to guide me.” Maybe summarize how the ghost changed the way you looked at yourself; it might help the whole paper come together at the end. You talk about how he inspires people to follow their passions- what has he inspired you to do?

May Flam

“I have always tried to find a home in other people, to find close friendships and relationships, and simply to feel at home.”

I think this sentence is kind of repetitive- discussing home at both the beginning at the end. Maybe change it to “I have always tried to find a home in other people by finding close friendships and relationships”

If you want to expand on something, I really like the idea of Baker House. I’m not sure why, but that part of your paper has always stood out to me—maybe discuss other places in your life that have connected different lifestyles. I just think you could highlight on this idea more here.

Anush Emelianova

“It is my belief that mystical ideas are nothing more than tools with which to access the truth not the truth itself.”

I think you need a comma in this sentence—“It is my belief that mystic ideas are nothing more than tools with which to access the truth, not the truth itself.”

To expand this bot, I think you could include more about his inspiration. He mentions his family and being “destined for greatness” but maybe discuss what exactly about his family or background inspired him.

Susan Shaffer

“You enter the comfortable atmosphere of the Reading Room and see Heman Sweatt busily at work at one of the tables.”

I think this sentence could flow better without the repetition of “at”. Maybe change it to: “You enter the comfortable atmosphere of the Reading Room and see Heman Sweatt busily working at one of the tables.”

I have two suggestions for the bot: First, for some reason the picture in his opening page didn’t show up, but the pictures in the photo album did. Second, maybe move the list of topics to the opening page for the bot- it might be easier for the viewer than switching between pages.

I really like it- especially the photo album!!

Vanessa Cooper

“It ended up being my favorite campus out every college I visited because I felt a connection with its natural setting.”

You should add an “of”: “It ended up being my favorite campus out of every college I visited because I felt a connection with its natural setting.”

I think you could expand on the idea of putting forth effort in life. You say that you’re unsure of what the future holds for you, and Mezes inspires you to try your best and put forth effort- how will this play into your life? How does this specifically connect to you? Good job- I like how you go to UT and another place, Berkeley.

Mita Lakhia

“How could I have FORGOT about my economics test?”

For grammatical reasons, I think this sentence should be: “How could I have forgotten about my economics test?”

To expand, you could discuss Cronkite’s later life. In class, we’ve posed the question, “where are we going?” a lot, and it might be interesting to explore where other people went, especially with as interesting of backgrounds as Cronkite has.

Thomas Lopez

“Tolkien tried to keep track of how many doors they went through and how many turns they made but last count after the first seventy.”

There’s just a spelling error- “last” should be “lost”: “Tolkien tried to keep track of how many doors they went through and how many turns they made but lost count after the first seventy.”

Sharon discussed expanding the connection you feel to Tolkien- Specifically, I think you could use this connection to expand the conclusion- I really like how you end the paper, but if you could relate yourself or place into it a bit more, the objective of the project might come together better.

Great paper- I really like what you did with the narration!

Brian Dillon

“His statue in the east mall reminds students of his presence among them.”

I’m pretty sure “east mall” should be capitalized since it is a specific geographic place: “His statue in the East Mall reminds students of his presence among them.” Also, should it be “in the East Mall” or “on the East Mall”?

To make the project better, you could improve his response to key words- I tried “religion”, “family”, “I have a dream”, “church”, “civil rights” and others, and he didn’t seem to understand.

I really like the sense of place at UT you establish in the introduction!