Picture 1: My little brother and I when we were young

Pilgrimage to Passion

When I was about ten years old, my little brother and I capered and roughhoused whenever we had the chance. On one occasion, we played a “cops and robbers” game that resulted with my “firing” an imaginary gun at him. My little brother acted like he was shot and fell down, feigning death. However, what actually resulted was my brother cracking his skull on a brick furnace. Once I saw what happened, I quickly rushed to his side and began crying. I did not know what I should have done. Instead of calling for an adult or helping my little brother, I stared blankly at him, helplessly holding him in my arms. Only twenty minutes must have elapsed until my mother came into the house. Realizing what had happened, she quickly called the hospital and began to care for my little brother. I felt unable to help him and restricted to depending on someone else to remedy the situation. This event has stayed in my mind ever since and has become the origin of my lifelong passion.

Picture 2: The Feeling of Uselessness

Though my passion was not solidified at that time, I knew that I wanted to be able to help people in some way. I did not want to believe that I was doomed to futility in helping others. Although it is my resolve now, it was not what I thought before becoming a junior in high school. It took a specific “pilgrimage” to lead me to where I am now.

Picture 3: Dependence and Frustration

In middle school, I was still dependent on others. I thought, “Why attempt to learn things for myself when my teachers are already feeding me the facts that I need to know?” Because of my reliance on others, I was never truly independent. I was not able to learn about myself and how I functioned. My individual qualities did not carry much potential whenever I was dependent on others.

During the first half of my high school career, I harbored the same dependent mindset that I had in middle school. The classes that I was enrolled in had the same monotonous teaching method: Facts were presented and I was expected to memorize and regurgitate them back onto a test. This dependence and my personal attitude disabled me from possessing personal introspect. With any problem I encountered, I always blamed it on someone else, expecting the person to remedy the situation.

Picture 4: A friend studying before chemistry class began

During my junior year, however, I began to view things in a different light. My chemistry teacher, Doctor Sam Clifford, exposed me to a new kind of education, similar to what we are learning now in my E603 World Literature class. In my junior year, I was exposed to a similar kind of education: “Our goal is to learn to think for ourselves, decreasing reliance on secondary sources, practicing what is known as active, experiential or discovery learning.”¹

The discovery learning that I experienced in Doctor Clifford's class introduced me to the concepts of self-actualization and independence; it was then that I made the transition from dependency on others to realizing I was ultimately responsible for myself. Laboratory assignments that students performed during Dr. Clifford's class were always based on the purpose of learning through experimentation. There was never a sheet of paper dictating what was to be done. Instead, students would only be provided with inputs and expected outputs and then expected to develop their own method of arriving at a conclusion. This experience showed that there was no “standard” road to follow. What was essential, however, was the individual's ability to think for his or her self. Like Dr. Clifford expresses in an article on intelligent design, it is "a piecemeal, haphazard concoction."² Although the opinion of intelligent design is out of context, one is able to extract a central idea. Contrary to already believing in a preordained pathway in life, people must first experience and discover things for themselves. Thus there is no dependency on others. The grounds of discovery learning would serve as a starting point for my self revelation and truth.

Picture 5: Abraham Maslow

The abstract version of my newly discovered truth had been established. However, I could not solidify it into an intelligible form. A specific name was needed for my truth. It was in debate class of my junior year where I was introduced to Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. Specifically, it had been his theory of self actualization that interested me. Assuming that every individual has their own potential, self actualization is defined as “the desire for self fulfillment, where one becomes actualized in their own capabilities and realizes what they can become.”³ Using this concept, I fully developed my personal truth: every human is allowed to achieve “FMOOP,” or the full manifestation of one's potential.

Picture 6: Fellow "Temple'ites" as well as friends

The only obstacles that now remained were the means of how I would help people. From discovery learning, Maslow's self actualization, and the development of my personal truth, I ascertained a method that would allow me to do this. For the rest of my high school career, I became a “mediator” amongst my friends and classmates. By always offering an “open ear” to others, I was able to advocate self discovery. As we talked about our problems, they began to discover themselves by realizing their limits, capabilities, and strengths. And by relating my own personal experiences to their problems, I spurred their own personal truths. It was somewhere between one friend and another where my passion was reaffirmed.

Picture 7: A Pediatrician

As college approached, I began to question how my recent insights into my passion could transfer into a future career and life-long purpose. Being just one person, how would I be able to help millions of people? of The answer did not occur to me until I remembered a conversation that I had with a role model from my childhood. Doctor Sherman Li, a family friend as well as a pediatrician who has taken care of me since the day I was conceived, called me the day before my graduation. After two hours of conversing about what Dr. Li did as a pediatrician, I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I realized that there was a vocation in the real world that would satisfy my desire to help others.

Though Dr. Li described most of his profession to me during our conversation, he did not mention much about the interpersonal aspect of his career or why he decided to become a pediatrician. After the conversation, I could not help but contemplate why he would choose such a long and difficult road to take, spending the majority of his undergraduate years studying and the remaining four years devoting his life to medicine. It was then I realized that perhaps Dr. Li had the same intentions that I have now: the want to help others, the drive to further oneself, and the search for a medium that would allow him to achieve the former. Albeit one may argue that there may exist additional perks to becoming a doctor, I speculated that if a person wanted to do nothing but accrue money, they would have chosen a different path to take instead of a doctor's. I realized that in order become a doctor, one must already possess and practice a “higher form” of compassion.

Picture 8: Ahimsa - Peace and Love

In order to possess this higher form, one must harness a “cosmic love” for all things, “depriving oneself of hatred and replacing it with love.”⁴ Like it is advocated in the practice of Ahimsa, compassion should be extended to all different types of life, regardless of whether they are human or not. Though the teachings of Ahimsa practice love to the point where ants are not to be harmed and negative thoughts are not to be contemplated, the central idea of eliminating bias is essential to my passion. Compassion should not be an inclusive concept to any person who practices it. In effect, doctors utilize this form of unbiased compassion in their career and field, never judging or barring patients from treatment. This compassion was found to be another link that drew me closer to becoming a doctor. Though I could never blatantly find it on Dr. Li, I knew it had to be there, whether it was in his gentle voice or his positive attitude. Compassion is an essential piece for my passion to helping others.

Picture 9: Leader, Facilitator, Placater

In addition, doctors in general are seen as leaders of their communities, offering not only physical support but mental assurance to people in need. By pursuing a career in the medical field, I would be able to help others not only medically but provide guidance for patients and members of the community. Since I had always held an affinity for science, the idea of becoming a doctor seemed to naturally fall into place. I would be able to help others achieve “FMOOP” as well as be in a career field that I would be comfortable in.

Ultimately, the profession embodies the idea of allowing a person to fully manifest their potential. Though a doctor is responsible for a patient's physical well-being, most of the recovery is up to the patient. While the doctor is able to prescribe medication, it is solely up to the patient's mind and body to absorb the medicine and recover. Essentially, the same relationship can be applied to a doctor's advice and guidance to a person in the community. While I am not telling a person how to live his or her own life, I will be able to give them my personal experiences and truths. I will take on a form of a facilitator. It is then up to the people themselves to make their own decisions and achieve their self actualization.

Since the incident with my little brother, I have changed. I am no longer dependent, helpless, or unsure. About a week ago as I was walking down 21^st Street past Jester, I spotted a girl laying face-down on the sidewalk. At first, I thought she was being humorous. But the situation was no joke. She had fallen and injured her head on the cement. Immediately, I approached the girl and asked if she needed help. As the crowd gathered around slowly, I directed two people to alert the resident advisors inside Jester and asked a passerby to alert the campus police. Taking a piece of cloth and cleaning the blood off of her forehead, I realized that I had been in this same situation seven years ago with my little brother. But this time it was different. I had actually acted upon my thoughts and her situation became my responsibility to remedy. I did not wait for someone else to come to her aide. Everything, the discovery learning, my self actualization, and my passion to help others provided me with the needed strength to react to this situation. In retrospect, I realized that everything in my life has and will eventually lead to my “bliss” that Joseph Campbell advocates: “That if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.”⁵ Though my future is still uncertain, I will stand by my personal truth and passion and succeed.

Illustration Index:

Picture 1: Lawrence and Lewis Tsai

Provided by author

Picture 2: The Feeling of Uselessness

http://www.nmpft.org.uk/IMAGES/filmimages/int2_useless.jpg

Picture 3: Dependence and Frustration

By Lauren Peralta

http://static.flickr.com/58/185642467_355d696300_m.jpg

Picture 4: A Friend in Chemistry Class

Provided by author

Picture 5: Abraham Maslow

http://www.prospirit.org/images/maslowr.gif

Picture 6: Fellow Temple'ites

Provided by author

Picture 7: A Pediatrician

http://www.carolinapediatricsurgery.org/images/Hoover_withboy.jpg

Picture 8: Ahimsa- Peace and love

http://www.bombaymuseum.org/ahimsa/intro/logonew2.gif

Picture 9: Leader, Facilitator, Placater

http://www.kishhospital.org/images/page_img/find_doctor.jpg

1 Jerome Bump, “Our Goals,” in Compositions and Reading in World Literature, ed. Dr. Jerome Bump (Austin: Jenn's Copying & Binding, 2006), 12.

2 Jay Mathews, “Who's Afraid of Intelligent Design?” The Washington Post Online, 2006, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A58465-2005Mar22.html.

3 Abraham Maslow, “A Theory of Human Motivation,” Psychological Review 50, 2006,

http://www.advancedhiring.com/docs/theory_of_human_motivation.pdf

4Sri Sivananda, “Ahimsa,” Bliss Divine, 2005,

http://www.sivanandadlshq.org/teachings/ahimsa.htm.

5 Joseph Campbell, “The Power of Myth,” in Compositions and Reading in World Literature, ed. Dr. Jerome Bump (Austin: Jenn’s Copying & Binding, 2006), 71.