Rachel and I become a UT totem pole. 

LR A1

    I don’t think that my writing and learning styles have changed much over the past semester.  But, what has changed is my awareness of them.  Last semester, when I studied my classification as an ENTP, and the common learning and writing styles associated with this classification, a certain awareness was planted.  From then on, I was able to notice more “blocks” in my learning and writing processes. 
    In the course anthology, some of the analyses of my personality type were very accurate.  One of the most personally-descriptive qualities described in the anthology was that I have “little patience with those [I] consider wrongheaded or unintelligent” (139).  Also, I could identify to the classification of a thinking person as regarding “their beliefs as being universally held and thus [being] abrasive or dogmatic” (150).  However, these qualities express themselves slightly differently than suggested by the anthology.  I have the same attitude toward myself that I do with other people.  It is extremely difficult for me to validate my own ideas because I rarely think they are very good.  Other times, I think that my ideas are so “universally held” that they are obvious and worthless to write down. 
    These qualities, which block my writing style, explain my tendency to “plan before writing and [to] want most of [my] ideas clarified before writing” (145).  I have found that when I exhaustively plan what I am about to write, I display an energy and confidence that is not present in my other writing.  The best way I have found to prepare what I am about to write is to talk about it with somebody first.  My journal, “Hopkins vs. the ‘Disappearance of God’” exhibited energy and confidence that resulted from clearly thinking about what I was going to write and talking about it thoroughly before actually writing.
 

LR A2

    Jesuits don’t put much stock in ego.  At Strake Jesuit, I learned about social justice, humility, repentance, and one’s higher purpose.  Every theology class was an exercise in realizing that the ego was not important in light of an omnipotent creator.  While some people think this kind of approach to learning is not very motivating or, worse, down right depressing, I grew to value my Jesuit education above most things.  The idea that something greater than the ego exists is actually liberating.  I have something towards which I can use my free will and reason. 
    Exit Jesuit high school. Enter supersecular university. 
Last fall, soon after taking residence in Austin, TX, my ego began to slowly replace certain aspects of my Jesuit education.  I think the majority of my peers are much more interested in defining a reality that allows them to feel as “free” as possible.  But, instead of feeling free to achieve their higher purpose, my peers want to be free to essentially do whatever they want with no consequences.  Furthermore, the mainstream culture rarely inspires a quest for anything greater than the ego.  Instead, people are often taught that they should “Focus on YOU” in order to achieve happiness. 
    My peers and my culture have affected me to some extent.  I think less frequently about social justice and more about which summer internship program would make me happiest.  And, by happiest, I mean most successful later on in life.  My LR goals reflect a slow deterioration of my awareness to that which is greater than the ego.  In my midterm, my number-one goal was “To discover a/my/the higher purpose.”  By the time of the final, I seemed to have no such goal.  The closest I came to being ego-free was the goal to “gather more useable knowledge.”  I specifically mentioned knowledge about Catholicism in the explanation of this goal.  However, no longer was my goal spiritual.  At this point, I wanted to know the arguments for Catholicism and use them to achieve greater glory for…well, God, surely.   
    Fortunately, I have reverted slightly to my former mindset.  The goal “to discover a/my/the higher purpose” found its way back onto the first set of revised goals this semester.  Over the break, I discovered an attraction to that which is greater than the ego.  Questions about morality, reality, God, and spiritual objects piqued my interest in truly discovering what is greater than myself.  I want to develop a strong idea about what I believe.  My first goal in this quest is to come to some sort of understanding of morality.  This kind of quest focuses my attention on what is greater and, most importantly, the ideas and concepts which can unite all of humanity.