Learning Record Final
When I was a young girl, I spent endless hours pretending to be a teacher. My best friend Jennifer and I would take over her mother’s elementary school classroom. Then, we would argue to determine whom we would award with the esteemed position of teacher and who would be stuck with the dreaded role of student. Pouting during the few times she joined us, our other friend Emily would beg us to play dress-up. That way, she touted, everyone could be whatever they wanted to be. No amount of convincing, however, would change our stubborn, eight-year-old minds. We loved our imaginary classroom, regardless of its inequities.
Now, I wistfully look back on those days of steadfast determination and decisiveness with nostalgia and recognition that “time brings continuity and change.”[1] I have come to realize my feelings are “largely dependent on repetition or routine. You don’t feel nostalgic for something that happened in isolation; you merely retain a fond memory of it. But things like the sum of what happened in your childhood…allow nostalgia to develop.”[2] I am thankful that I have the powerful and vivid memories necessary to provoke nostalgia, but I still question the personal transformation I have undergone from my childhood self. I sometimes wonder if I have lost parts of my childhood self needed to achieve my adult dreams. The question has continued to resurface in E603, a class in which we are encouraged to return to childhood. For example, in the tradition of childhood birthday parties, we busted a piñata in class one day. While completing the activity, I remembered the excitement a simple piñata brought during my childhood. After my mom bought a piñata, my siblings and I would eagerly anticipate the upcoming event. We would decide exactly which candies we wanted my mother to fill the piñata with, and when the day to break it came, we would have already decided who got the first swing and how many times each person was allowed to swing. When did I stop getting excited about life’s simple instances?
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Noel and I eat candy after breaking the piñata. |
As I continue to reflect on my childhood, more questions come to mind. When did decisions become so hard? When did the imagination fade and reality take center stage? As I look back on the past eighteen years, I see education and helping others as common themes in my pilgrimage.
During elementary school, my fascination with pretending to be a teacher faded away. When I reached high school, however, my enthrallment with teaching and learning returned. My childhood disgust at being a student turned to pleasure and appreciation as I developed from an all-knowing five-year-old into a young adult with an understanding that “education begins in humility—in our recognizing that we always have much still to learn, and that each person is our potential teacher.”[3] In elementary school, I was dismayed at Jennifer being the teacher because I could read better than she could. I thought she should naturally be the student. In high school, I embraced the opportunity to learn from others’ unique views and experiences. Jennifer’s difficulties in school became a starting point for learning about different methods of teaching and learning.
Jennifer never
embodied any conception of the typical student.
I vividly remember one day during my sophomore year of high school. The night before, my boyfriend had left for
his freshman year at
After this initial experience, I began reflecting on my education. I attended a Montessori school for pre-school and kindergarten. During that period of my life, I learned almost entirely through experiences. Most of my days at school were filled with stations where I would pick activities I wanted to complete. The only requirement was to complete activities in three different areas assigned by the teacher for that day, such as math, writing, and spelling. I progressed magnificently. By the time I started first grade, I could spell, read, write, add, subtract, and divide. In middle school, however, I detested experiential learning. I hated the interactive problems we completed in math class. I just wanted to work the math problems from the book out on a sheet of paper. By reflecting on my reactions to these different teaching methods, I realized the necessity for uniqueness in teaching. Not only does each child learn differently from her peers, but also a single child can require different methods at different points in her life. This lesson continued in E603A where we analyzed teaching and learning styles in relation to personality types. My love of teaching and recognition of different teaching methods and learning styles forms the first component of my vision. The next element of my vision comes from the summer after my senior year in high school.
One night, shortly
before I came to the
I opened my e-mail
to search for the dreaded news Win had described. I soon discovered an e-mail in my outbox that
I had meant to send to John before I left for the lake. For some reason, Outlook had never actually
sent the e-mail. In January of that
year, John founded a non-profit organization, VOICES, devoted to helping
underprivileged high school students compete nationally in debate in two
ways. First, the organization recognized
parents, coaches, and students who displayed a selfless spirit in helping
others in the debate community. Second,
John aspired to develop VOICES’ financial capability to assist underprivileged
debaters by funding their time at debate camps and paying their tournament
fees. A few hours before he passed away,
John posted an announcement on the organization’s website unveiling the first
fifteen scholarships VOICES would be able to provide. He had accomplished the second aspect of
VOICES’ vision. I had tried to e-mail
John a few hours before I left for
John and I were
not close friends. He lived in
That night, as I quietly sobbed and read the obituary, I found another element of my vision. I realized that I had never felt more alive than I did while I was debating in high school. My parents forced me to take a debate class during my sophomore year of high school. Before the first day of school, I had nightmares about arriving to class and being forced to take a controversial position in front of my peers. On the first day of class, I was absolutely terrified. I hated speaking in front of groups. Luckily, that day, Ms. Thomas, the debate coach, did not ask me to speak. Instead, she asked me to write. I felt comfortable as I let my thoughts on the death penalty flow freely from my mind onto the paper. The weeks that followed consisted of similar writing activities followed by voluntary class discussions. During the first week of September, Ms. Thomas announced an opening in the Debate II class. A team member had decided to leave the class, and she needed someone to fill the spot. She asked anyone interested to come speak with her at the end of the day. As she announced the opportunity, I squirmed in my seat. During the next three hours, I argued with myself about whether or not I should go talk to her. I kept reminding myself of my fear of speaking in front of others, but then I kept remembering how excited and alive I felt each time I entered the classroom. Ultimately, I spoke with Ms. Thomas that afternoon. She announced her decision the next Monday. She chose me to move to the next class. I silently wondered why she had picked me. The other people meeting with her when I did were outgoing and talkative. They had no fears about speaking in front of others. I grasped the opportunity, and over the next few weeks, to both my friends’ and my own surprise, I became engrossed in debate. I felt free as I discovered how much knowledge there is to learn and how many different arguments exist for different conflicts.
As I started to
“participate actively in the learning process rather than passively receiving knowledge
as if [I am] an empty vessel to be filled by the instructor,” my learning
method began to resemble that of Jennifer.[5] I would take the assigned topic, find a part
of the topic I was passionate about, and run with the information. The debates that take place in our E603 class
and on the discussion board inspire me to read, learn, and develop arguments
relevant to our class. For example, when
we wrote about the final section of Jane Eyre, the discussion topics
prompted me to complete independent research of world religions. In order to better respond to my classmates’
comments, I delved into Jane Eyre to find support for
Debate also developed my ability to learn from others. After each debate round, the two debaters and the one judge discuss the arguments developed in that round. Through these conversations and other encounters with my peers, I learned more about the given topics than I probably could have learned on my own. For example, during my junior year of high school, I debated a topic juxtaposing environmental protection and economic development. I wrote a case advocating countries prioritize economic development in order to form colonies on the moon. Humans’ destruction of the environment had already created devastating changes to Earth. With no predictable pattern for how the Earth would respond to this destruction in the future, countries should develop an alternative to Earth. After the first tournament, I realized some of the problems with the case. Several judges found the idea of developing colonies on other planets outrageous. At the second tournament, one of my friends told me a girl from another school had written a similar case. We debated each other during the second round. Since I was assigned to the negative side, I used the case about the moon. Afterwards, she showed me her case, and we compared notes and arguments to make both of our cases stronger. Instances like that one show the collaboration and discussion involved in debate..
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Noel, Susan, and I debate in our E603B class. |
From debate, I learned to be myself, to let my interests drive my education, and to learn from others. Like John, I hope to pass these benefits on to high school students across the country.
In the aftermath of John’s death, high school students and their parents around the country united to carry out John’s vision. Since August of 2005, VOICES has provided five additional scholarships and conducted three fundraisers. VOICES, however, targets students already involved in debate. These students have discovered debate, but their debate team does not receive adequate funding to compete nationally.
I, however, aspire to pass on the benefits of debate by directing my vision towards students who have not learned about debate. I remember the excitement my high school debate coach conveyed. With her guidance and fervor, students became enraptured by the activity. Like Ms. Thomas, I intend to believe in students and inspire them to learn both as individuals and in collaboration with others.
I believe the best way to inspire debaters is to start at the local level. At local tournaments, I encountered brilliant debaters who lacked the funds to travel nationally. To this day, I have a hard time reconciling the activity’s conflict between the ego and something greater than the ego. It’s difficult to understand how luxuries, like traveling across the nation, can possibly satisfy something other than self-centered competition. Unfortunately, the time I spent debating proved that sometimes national success produces conceit.
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Here I am receiving first place at the University
Interscholastic League State Meet my sophomore year. This quick success is evidence of my passion
and determination when debating. |
I, however, tried to remain focused on the educational value of the activity by remembering “that we are but a speck in an unfathomably large universe.”[6] Although I might have been discussing interesting ideas, I was simply one person expressing one set of views and one set of knowledge in a universe where billions of possibilities exist.
After much reflection on the conflict between conceit and humility in national debate, I have concluded that the national setting is beneficial because it allows one’s ideas to be better heard and discussed by others. An interesting and thought-provoking case heard at a prestigious tournament will be discussed for weeks on websites like victorybriefs.net, making debate a worthwhile forum for opening people to new ideas. Thus, the discussion, discovery learning, and self-knowledge that often arise from debating makes promoting debate the second part of my vision.
The next component of my vision comes from the years I have spent volunteering at the Austin Children’s Shelter. The children constantly reminded me that “if you will remember everyday to feel the mystery and if you will remember to feel that you are more than what you look and if you will remember to be the mystery itself then you will be happy, every day, and all kinds of wonderful happenings will come up for you.”[7] This feeling of mystery returned as I interacted with Dr. Bump’s granddaughter in E603A. Her comments and drawings conveyed a unique understanding of both nature and the classroom.
As I worked with the children, I found it almost impossible to forget their pasts.
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Here I am drawing and listening on Alice Day. |
I went through hours of orientation before I began volunteering at the Austin Children’s Shelter, and volunteers are constantly reminded to reflect on how the children, after coming from an environment of physical and mental abuse, interpret volunteers’ actions and words. Still, amidst this strong understanding of their pasts, the children at the Austin Children’s Shelter radiate a sense of imagination and determination. Although the abuse has undoubtedly affected the children, it is evident that “[the children] are more than what [they] look like.”[8]
In addition to the mystery I re-discovered while interacting with the younger children, ages one through eight, I heard countless stories about the older children running away. When children come to the Austin Children’s Shelter, their reactions to the new environment vary between appreciation and resentment. According to the staff, finding a niche within this new place generally makes them feel more stable. The staff worked hard to give the older children, ages nine through eighteen, special tasks and responsibilities to make them feel vital to the success of the Austin Children’s Shelter. I think providing children’s shelters with special programs, such as art and debate, would further this feeling of importance and provide the children with a continuous outlet for expressing their emotions and experiences.
Additionally, the
programs would provide building blocks for the children to develop a passion
for an activity. The younger children
are already provided with a computer lab and computer classes. The results are outstanding. The children have become excited about
technology, and the older children always want to use the lab. Specifically, to implement the programs, I
would establish an organization with local chapters to provide debate training
to children’s shelters. The training
would target children of all ages.
Elementary school students would learn about the value of discussion. Instructors would teach them about expressing
their emotions, opinions, and ideas.
Middle school students would study the basics of debate, such as forming
and articulating arguments. High-school
students would gain knowledge of the in-depth aspects of debate, such as means
of refuting arguments and forming different types of warrants, opening them up
to a wide range of intellectual possibilities.
Additionally, the organization would provide mentors for underprivileged
children. The organization’s chapters
would be located in cities around the
As the children encounter life-changing events, debate will give them powerful discovery learning tools, instilling in them the experience of “questioning and solving problems without expecting someone to give [them] the answer” which “enables [them] to develop confidence in [their] own ability to handle problems in this area, which in turn encourages [them] to go further.”[9] In place of the solutions and opinions of those who they are currently residing with, the children will be able to develop independent views and means of expressing their emotions. Instead of having their identity uprooted each time they move, they will be able to carry these discoveries with them throughout their life.
My vision requires
a firm understanding of leadership and teaching. During the summer after my freshman year of
high school, I participated in the Leadership Training Program at Camp Balcones
Springs. I lived in a house with fifteen
boys and fifteen girls who were also participating in the program. Each day, we would spend time with the
children of a younger cabin. After the
first week, the counselors daringly trusted us alone with the children. It had been raining almost constantly for a
week, and the counselors were meeting about the possibility of evacuating the
cabins. The meeting fell during Pow Wow,
the daily cabin devotional. That
afternoon, I sat down ready to lead the girls in my cabin through a lesson on
Grace. As I began the lesson, a girl’s
cell phone rang. The girls quickly
became distracted and uninterested. I
returned to the house that night slightly frustrated with my inability to reach
out to the campers. My friends felt the
same disappointment. Over the next four
weeks, however, our leadership skills progressed.
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Six of my friends and I pose for a picture before taking our places
throughout the scavenger hunt. |
As opposed to simply expecting the campers to listen to us, we learned to lead by example and to teach through experience and reflection. For example, our program planned a scavenger hunt for the campers. We designed the activity so the children would discover the importance of teamwork, confidence, and determination. We also learned to praise campers’ achievements. The weeks of learning about leadership culminated on the last day of camp. Counselors and members of the program offered a testimonial of each camper’s virtues, as seen in this video. Also, campers with exceptional skills performed for the other campers and their parents. The top four horseback riders presented the flags at the ceremony that morning.
Thus far, I have explained instances, such as pretending to be a teacher, studying different learning and teaching styles, debating, working with children, and using discovery learning, that have formed my vision of becoming a leader who helps underprivileged children develop skills in debate and art. Specifically, I want to fund these programs while also remaining active in their implementation through teaching.
Furthermore, I hope to provide programs that will appeal to a wide range of children. Generally, one activity will not motivate every person. As I attend my Plan II classes, I notice the incredible diversity of interests. My classmates are athletes, debaters, religious advocates, artists, musicians, actors, and writers. I know I probably could not motivate every person in Plan II or every person in my high school with debate. Instead, after I establish the initial organization for promoting debate, I hope to team with successful artists, musicians, actors, and writers to incorporate fine arts into the organization’s mission. Offering a wide range of activities will increase the chance the organization can impact each child’s life.
In preparation for
carrying out my vision, there are three areas I aspire to develop while at the
After completing
my freshman year of college, I am able to evaluate the progress I have made in
the three areas I aspire to develop while at the
As I evaluate the past year, I can also think of areas I wish instructors had further highlighted. I chose Dr. Bump’s E603B class mainly because of the love for Alice In Wonderland and childhood he conveyed in his course description. Although Dr. Bump tied quotes from Alice in Wonderland into the journal topics during the first semester, I wish we could have elaborated on this story and its relationship to childhood more during both semesters. Reflecting on childhood provides a basis for evaluating and forming one’s vision. For example, I realized my love for teaching from my fond memories of childhood games, and I realized my enthusiasm for helping others from my volunteer work with underprivileged children.
As my first year
at the University of Texas comes to a close, I trust I will not be one of the
“students who leave the Forty Acres, as many do now, without knowing
themselves, without testing what they can best do for themselves and for other
people, without developing serious intellectual skepticism, without developing
cultural passions.”[10] Instead, I hope being challenged and taught
by the faculty and students at the
LR Midterm Final Word Count: 3,197
LR Midterm Final Word Count Without Quotes: 2,864
LR Final Word Count: 4,335
Quotes: 333
LR Final Word Count Without Quotes: 4,002