“We must create a recognizable continuum of architectural styles by fusing elements of all buildings on campus with completely new elements modern design.”

I think you’re missing an ‘of’ before ‘modern design’- We must create a recognizable continuum of architectural styles by fusing elements of all buildings on campus with completely new elements of modern design. 

 

I think it would be interesting if you expanded more on the idea of learning.  How does a modern style promote learning’  How would the modern Blanton better achieve its purpose than the building proposed in the master plan’  I really liked it though”the writing flowed well!

“Future designs should recognize Paul Cret”s buildings from the thirties, recognize the minimalist designs from the sixties and seventies, and continue to move forward.”

This sentence is grammatically correct, (in fact, my limited grasp of silly English punctuation is too limited to find much wrong at all in your fine paper) but I feel like a better word could replace recognize, which has, I think, too many shades of meaning to be used thus.

“Future designs should reflect Paul Cret”s buildings from the thirties, the minimalist designs from the sixties and seventies, and continue to move forward.”

You could even add “reflect a synthesis,” but that”s really up to you, my friend.

I thought your format was excellent and the discussion was well balanced. Consider turning these two fellows into bots! I think you could do a very good job of it.

Good luck sport!

"That is a bold statement but please continue."

This is technically a compound sentence, so you need a comma: That is a bold statement, but please continue."

Good debate. It was interesting and flowed pretty well. I think if you wanted to add to this, you could add a little blurb at the end commenting on the resolution of the search for an architect for The Blanton.

Will- I really enjoyed your paper, esp the ideas that modern architecture helps people to notice the nature surrounding it....I think that I found a typo in the following sentence:

I understand what you are planning not to do, but can you explain exactly what it is you are planning to do.

The later phrase is a question so there should be a question mark instead of a period.

If you want to expand, maybe you can include examples of modern architecture at other schools. Overall, awesome job, very interesting!

Will --

The exterior of that building is covered in fossils.  These fossils provide a physical connection between the modern building and the natural state of prehistoric Texas.

These sentences are not wrong, but I think the peice would flow better if you could combine them, especially because this is in a conversational form:

The exterior of that building is covered in fossils which provide a physical connection between the modern building and the natural state of prehistoric Texas.

Other than that, I really liked it!!  One thing you could expand upon was how when you bring up Jester you do not really offer a solution or a concrete statement but make a generalization.  You could add something more specific...

great job! – Mita

It is not feasible to tear down the PCL, the Ransom Center, and the LBJ Library.  These parts of the campus are here to stay. 


I think you should combine these sentences with a semi-colon:


It is not feasible to tear down the PCL, the Ransom Center, and the LBJ Library; these parts of the campus are here to stay. 


I think it just makes the thoughts flow better. There are a few shorter sentences in your paper that you might consider combining. If you want to expand, I would say give us some more examples of modern architecture in places besides UT, or maybe write an outcome for the Blanton building. I want to know what happens! Haha. Great job!

Will-
your paper rings of the archetypal super-hero story: SuperHero Herzog addresses the assembly: the dark curtain of doom may soon descend upon your race! “ I DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN! “ (Aided by my Aikido Energy secret weapon) we must REVISE THE MASTERPLAN!
:)
Maybe I have just read too many comic books.

Back to the specific and concrete: pay attention to your word choice. It's a personal thing, but consider changing:

"Promising" to "distinguished"
" One of the most promising names on that list is Jacques Herzog”"
vs
" One of the most distinguished names on that list is Jacques Herzog”"
Although "distinguished" is a bit more blasé, it seems more even-handed than "promising." These dudes are in a competition after all. Also, Herzog's ideas for the project don't jive particularly well with Donald's (and the regents') views, so perhaps they aren't so promising, at least from Donald's perspective”?

"Interrupt" to "interject"
"If I may interrupt, remember that another important goal of ours is to connect”"
vs
" If I may interject, remember that another important goal of ours is to connect”"
Donald doesn't exactly interrupt, because He let Herzog finish his thought: there's a period at the end of Herzog's sentence. Nor does he break his train of thought: "This is the only way to achieve unity without sacrificing progress and innovation" is a pretty conclusive statement. Donald seems to be making an aside more than an interruption.

t"actually" to “
"Instead, the trick is to make people notice and appreciate the nature that still exists."
As a reader, the flow of my concentration was broken when I read this sentence. For some reason, the word "actually" rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps it's because I associate it as one of those teenage words ("like," "very," "actually," "interesting"“) that gets overused. It just didn't quite sound right coming out of Herzog. Consider deleting it entirely. It's main function in the sentence - to emphasize the thought - is already achieved by the word "Instead," and by the fact that it is Herzog's closing sentence. If you don't like deleting it, try exchanging it for the word "truly."

As far as re-working the whole goes”
The ending is a bit week. I liked Sharon's idea about "adding a little blurb at the end commenting on the resolution of the search for an architect for The Blanton." I would also like to know what Herzog's "master plan" is, or what his plans for the Blanton in particular might be. I understand it's probably hard to come by this factual info, but if you could it'd be really interesting. If you can't quote the hard facts, what kind of building do you think he'd design? Perhaps you could include some pictures of other buildings he has worked on (the Tate Modern Gallery of Art sounded interesting) as examples illustrating his style.

For interest's sake”
I liked your/Herzog's point that "art and architecture must recognize the past but then {innovate and} go beyond it." The idea that "pure imitation quickly becomes trite and meaningless” is applicable to many aspects of life, and I think particularly interesting when applied to art or religion. Joseph Campbell talks about it in regard to myth - myth oftentimes being the art that makes religion accessible. He says that, as dream is the personalized myth (with all it's problems and solutions quirked by the dreamer), myth is the de-personalized dream, valid for all mankind. Myth, like dream, stems from the subconscious and supplies "the symbols that carry the human spirit forward." He argues that today we are lacking those symbols and rites that carry us forward in our spiritual/psychic* development, "locked in this labyrinth without and within the heart." The symbols of myth must constantly be re-interpreted and "innovated" so that they remain valid for our ever-changing society. He describes this process as "palingenesia," or "recurrence of birth." Otherwise, if we stodgily stick to the modes of the past without re-evaluating and reinterpreting them, "we remain locked in a banal, long-outmoded toyroom, at the bottom of the sea."
*"psychic" relating to the psyche, not clairvoyance.

'aight, that's enough. Hasta martes, y buena suerte!
-rachel

Try this:

That said, nature is still an integral part of this campus.


To expand the project, I would add more to the end explaining what the architect would actually do.

My fellow regents, we are gathered here to make another step towards selecting an architect to design a new Blanton Museum of Art.

Even though this statement is grammatically correct (to my knowledge atleast), I think that a speaker would be more inclined to say "take another step" instead of "make another step". You could also consider substituting "the" for "a", to see if it fits better.

My fellow regents, we are gathered here to take another step towards selecting an architect to design the new Blanton Museum of Art.

I really liked the format of your project. I did feel a little cheated at the end, as no compromise or indications of one were given. I think to you could give an inkling as to the decision of the board to increase the length of you paper. Great Job on the paper though.