Amanda’s Edits of Other SL Projects

1. Prianka-

I like the idea of stepping stones or a pathway to lead to your project, it's welcoming, tho I agree with a previous comment that the texture should probably be changed.  I, too, am confused about the big blue box and its purpose as of now, though I must admit it certainly helped me to find your project!  Perhaps using this idea of color to grab people's attention is one you can incorporate into your main building.  Also, decorating the inside of your building and adding some more to the outside would be very beneficial for the rest of us who are trying to gain a better overall understanding of your architectural style.

Can't wait to see what the finished product looks like!

2. Law-

You're probably going to get tired of hearing this, but great job with your innovative version of the UT tower and the thinc book on top!  I could read the pages by zooming in just a tad, which I think works fine.

One thing I would suggest is tying in your building with the arguments in your paper.  Right now the building and your essay seem somewhat separate.  Having some pictures on the sides of the building with notes or captions that talk about how your building represents your style, or something similar, would help me relate this amazing visual with the verbal rhetoric of your paper.

3. Liz-

As mentioned by others, your buildings are absolutely amazing!  They are a wonderful representation of your promoted style of architecture, and it astounds me what you've been able to accomplish in this SL world!

I was able to work the thinc book quite easily by simply right clicking on it, going to Edit-->Contents, then viewing the notes individually.  I don't know if you've changed it since others commented on it or not, but I thought it was very easy to use.

Reading everyone else's critiques, I agree that it would be neat to see some furniture and such inside the buildings, but even more than that, I would love to see parts of your textual paper inside the buildings.  Perhaps put pictures on the wall, or on some stands inside, and embed notes with sections or paragraphs of your paper, or something like that.  It just seems to me that it's a lot more visually appealing if the text is split up into parts, as well as connected with a visual example.  I know this would mean more space and time, but I would just love to see what it would look like when all said and done!  (I really think we're going to have to spread out our projects before too long)

Overall, great job!  You've made your style a real contender with this model.

4. Rachel-

You have such a nice, large space to work with, and I think there is some very great potential in this courtyard-like area.  To add in your other styles, I would suggest putting some new objects (possibly small scale models of specific buildings in these other styles, or even just pictures of some examples) in the different corners of your main buildings so that we can see what the campus might look like in detail.  In this way it'll be like we're going on a small tour of your campus.

You might also be able to incorporate a lot of the verbal rhetoric with these visuals by imbedding notes or something like that.  As I've already mentioned to a lot of people, while the thinc book is nifty, I am much more likely to read an entire master plan if it is broken up into pieces and spread out a bit more rather than in one web page.  It can be a bit overwhelming all at once!  I did like all the pictures you put inside your thinc book, and I think if you could put captions on them or something it would make them even more effective (maybe put the captions/comments on the page right next to the picture).

I really like this beautiful building you've created, and I think it's going to look even more amazing once you're all done incorporating the other styles!

5. Mary-

As has already been said, amazing job with your campus!  I was impressed with the layout and the amount of detail, especilaly with the little model in the back.

A few things I would suggest:

-The space felt a little cramped simply because you show so much (which is a good thing!), so maybe add to the dimensions a little bit and spread things out (especially the 'doorway' leading to the room with the campus model')

-Your signs look beautiful, but I didn't see them until I was in between the buildings about to go in.  Right now they're just facing the entrances of the buildings, but they might be more helpful if they were placed more on the side or something

-I was impressed with your attempt at making a Gaudi bench.  It took me a little while to realize what it was, but rather than try and fix it to be perfect, why don't you just add a script or a note to it that tells us a little bit about it, or even paste the section of your verbal master plan that deals with it.  This could go for all the other objects/pictures in your buildings, as well.  Just one more way of fusing the right and left sides of the brain!

-Ok, this one's incredibly nit picky, but the back wall of the building with the bench inside of it is crooked, so you can see gaps along the sides towards the roof.  Just thought I'd mention it since it's such an easy fix.

Overall, I loved your layout- very impressive!

6. Emily-

I'm very impressed with the distorted shape of your building- I feel like it's hard enough just to make a plain rectangle one!  I also like that you have that cylinder to create a different texture.  I agree with the other comments that going inside would be amazing, and that playing around with textures might be fun and a little less distracting.  Also, it would be really neat if you could attach some notes to things like your fountain so that we can read how they tie into your master plan.  Oh, and a minor change to make would be to change your link on top of the building to say something like "Visit Emily's Master Plan" instead of "Visit Waller Creek!"  If you need help changing this, just let me know.

For someone who hates SL, this is a very impressive building!

7. Eric-

Love the arches! =)  Could you use the same "cutting" technique you told me about to chop off some of the rough edges in the roof?

Overall, your building is beautiful, and I like how you expanded on the thinc book with its size and new cover, but I am a big proponent of breaking up the verbal rhetoric and putting it in pieces inside a bunch of visuals.  So, for example, take the pictures you use in your paper and put them on the walls of your building inside, then embed notes that include the corresponding section of your paper.  That is just one way, but it's the easiest way I've thought of, and it would be a good way of adding some more details inside your building.

8. Megan-

Your building is beautiful in its simplicity and perfection!  I was very impressed with your roof and arches (which are giving the rest of us quite a hard time), and it looks like it's coming along quite nicely.  I could definitely see a statue or thinc book or something in the middle of your room that links to your project, and pictures of your campus buildings or their models on the walls (even more impressive would be notes/commentary attached to them!)

You seem to have a very good plan for all this, and I look forward to seeing the finished thing!

9. Ashley-

Not to be too redundant, but your integration and use of nature is truly amazing!  I agree with the other comments about needing more emphasis on the building itself, tho.  I found it hard to tell which part the building was.  And is it meant to be a classroom on campus or what?  If there could be some sort of sign or note or something that tells us more about your building, that would be very helpful!  Oh, and your sky picture still has the waller creek picture on the back - is it supposed to be that way?

Beautiful job, overall!

10. Mauro-

I'm so glad you're incorporating your paper into the different pictures and such and not just through a link to the whole big thing!  It will get me to actually read it part by part, plus I can see how each aspect of your SL project relates to your arguments in your paper.  I give you much applause for that!

I know you're still working on some texturing and such, so just a couple of areas I noticed (that you were probably planning on hitting anyway):

-the textures of your Gothic and post modern buildings should be played with to get a more realistic feel

-the windows in your post modren building would look absolutely gorgeous if you could get some glass or something in them

Other than that, I can't really complain - it looks great!

11. Chetna-

I really like that your SL project has the beginnings of a whole campus and not just a single building - it will create a more cohesive and comprehensive feel to the project.

I'm not sure what all you're planning on doing with your project, but here are a few things I would suggest:

-If possible, split your paper up into notes imbedded within your actual project rather than linking out to a separate web page (that way it's very smooth because it's all within SL, plus people will be more inclined to read it if it's in bits and pieces)

-Also, since your style is so unique and most of us don't know a whole lot about it, you might consider adding a link to an outside web page that's purely about Vedic architecture, just as some background info we can check out

I'm really interested to see how your project turns out!

12. Trevor-

While the shapes and colors of your building are very appealing, it's not exactly clear as to what type of building on campus this is supposed to be.  You  mentioned a waterfall...is this just a statue?  If it is going to be a building, it would be great if we could go inside and explore around.  Perhaps you could put some pictures from your paper on the inside walls then imbed the corresponding paragraphs of your paper as notes into those pics.  You have a very interesting style to argue for, I think you can do some very interesting stuff in your project!

13. Pallavi-

I'm very impressed with the roof (a lot of us are having trouble with that!) and the texture looks very smoothe.  I would suggest expanding your building's size a bit so that we can walk inside it and see a whole bunch of different elements to your master plan, rather than just the exterior of a single building.  Something I would suggest for when you're combining your paper into your SL project: it's a lot more effective (and more likely that we'll actually read) if your paper is split up into bits and pieces and either linked or imbedded through notes to different pictures or objects in your building.  This way it's not all in one big chunk to read over again (which can be overwhelming for the reader), plus it's all in SL!

I look forward to seeing your finished product!

14. Hey Garrison-

I really like the little art gallery-thing going on inside your building.  I was looking at the thinc book and I don't think it works either as a link or as a readable format of your paper as of now, though the link from the tower picture works fine.  I would really like to see more of your paper actually in SL, if possible.  Perhaps group the pictures you have on the wall by the paragraph or section they are in your paper, and then have little plaques underneath/above them that have the corresponding sections of your paper embedded as notes.  Oh, and I really liked that some of the pictures had those little captions that popped up on the screen.  I didn't see these with the pictures on the right-hand side, but I hope you're planning on adding them there, too!

Overall, I really like the general layout!  I enjoyed walking around inside your building, which is a good sign for Plateresque architecture!

15. Hey Brad-

I think your campus model is quite right-hemisphere friendly right now, but my left hemisphere is sad because none of your notes are set to share!  Once the permissions are switched I will come back and do a full critique.