Focus

Reviewer 1
This told me that it was not obvious which sentence was my thesis, but because this review did not get my thesis correct, some of the comments I couldn''''t really use. Also, I did talk about not being defined by a job in the end of my paper already, so I was a little confused as to whether I should just expand on that more, or not. I did end up adding some more to my conclusion, so hopefully that idea is more filled out now.

Reviewer 2
Glad to know my thesis could be found at least some of the time, and that it wasn't too vague, as I worried it would be, but didn''''''''t give me much to improve on.
A lot of people found the thesis hard to find, and tried to use the last sentence of the first paragraph. I tried to emphasize my thesis more, but I would love any suggestions on how to make this even more clear, since you were able to get the overall theme of the paper.

Reviewer 3
I definitely tried to use this critique's advice about re-wording my thesis, especially since I learned from other critiques that my thesis needed to be made clearer anyway. Gave me some good ideas for how to do this. Let me know if the thesis is clearer now, and if you have any suggestions for how to keep improving it.

Reviewer 4
I found that a couple of reviewers had trouble with the thesis not being clear enough, since the end of the first paragraph was not where it was located.

I tried to make the thesis more obvious, so let me know what you think.

Reviewer 5
This gave me very specific things to look at and possibly change, which I appreciated. I tried to incorporate a Biblical quote to tie together the idea of faith throughout my paper, as well as expanding on the idea of ''''''''enough'''''''' (which helped me with adding in more words, which i thought we needed to do at the time!)

Adam
helped me to really look at what my thesis was saying, and what kind of outline it was setting for my paper

Organization

Reviewer 1
I hadn't noticed this formatting issue before, so good to know.

I've changed the organization up quite a bit this time around, so I would like to know if it all connects as well as you thought it did in the first draft.

Reviewer 2
Went into details about the perceived layout of my paper, which allowed me to compare with what i wanted the layout to be for the reader. I used this information to decide what to keep and what to cut in my intro, especially.

I changed the organization quite a bit because of some other critiques, so let me know if the logical order is maintained.

Reviewer 3
Greatly appreciated the specifics of where to improve and what to improve.
I had multiple comments on transitions, and just the intro and concluding sentences, in general, so I tried to edit these quite a bit.
I also expanded on growth, and just re-worked and re-organized the entire body, in general. Hopefully the ideas still follow a logical sequence (ideally an even more logical one)

Reviewer 4
Helped me focus in on my transitions a bit more, which other reviewers mentioned as well, and I checked through the ends of paragraphs to get more variety if needed, but would have appreciated specific examples or references to where in my paper these issues needed improving. Hopefully I got most of them.

Reviewer 5
Again, really appreciated the specifics here. I was able to fix the specific instances mentioned, as well as re-read through my paper and look for similar issues like repetition and word choice.
I tried to edit a lot of the first and last sentences of paragraphs, and I found a quote I liked to put in the conclusion.

Adam
I took this advice very seriously, I majorly changed up the organization of paragraphs, so hopefully it is now more logical in its sequence.
I also tried to connect the paragraphs and ideas about being a hero with everything else, partly by changing my thesis a bit.
The 'so' was mentioned elsewhere, as well, and I tried to delete these wherever possible.

Flow

Reviewer 1
I appreciated the specific example here, and even though I disagreed with a part of this critique, it definitely helped me to see how my paper was coming across on the reader''''''''s side, and I tried to make edits with this in mind.
I actually felt that my conclusion was re-capping already, but I did try to flesh it out a bit more, and bring in some more of the phrases i had used earlier in the paper.

Reviewer 2
Good to know the reader's perspective, especially with regard to my tone.

Reviewer 3
Liked the specifics, because it can be really hard editing yourself for individual sentences. I ended up using a lot of these suggestions.

Reviewer 4
I tried to keep this advice in mind while still keeping the tone I wanted for my paper. I appreciated the specific suggestions, and I looked for phrases like "I think" and "I believe" throughout the editing process

Reviewer 5
I used this critique a lot when editing my paper, and it gave me something concrete to look for, while still leaving the ultimate tweaking up to me.
Specifically, the 'so' issue was mentioned elsewhere, and I tried to delete those; I also deleted some of the more cliche and informal phrasing.

Adam
I reworked the first sentence, which I knew would need some tweaking because it just sounded a little awkward to begin with.
Also tried to delete some of the more vague and cliche phrases that made the paper more informal and wordy