Compassion is…

I’ve always thought of myself as caring person, never really questioning how this passion for compassion came about or what being “compassionate” entailed. It is interesting that Dass feels that compassion is innate, “a reflex” (Dass 5). In the world, I feel that humans, individually, are innately good beings. However, when exposed to society and forced to compete with one another, the evilness in man comes out. I found myself agreeing with Dass on the idea that man is naturally good and hopes to do good, but I feel that Dass is flawed in saying that people in general obviously want to help. As a caring individual, I feel as though society corrupts people and that Dass failed to address this idea (at least in the first 121 pages). I feel as though the book caters to compassionate people and fails to address the basic societal conflicts.

In any case, reading Ram Dass’s book How Can I Help? revealed to me what it meant to call myself a compassionate person. A lot of thoughts ran through my mind as I read the text. I found myself agreeing with much of what Ram Dass had to say about compassion in regards to people who already know they want to help. Dass writes that “the more you identify yourself as a philanthropist, the more compelled someone feels to be a supplicant” (Dass 28). This sentence changed my whole perspective of what it means to be philanthropic. I know I want to help people because it feels good, but I never though of myself as needing to change. Dass continues, “As we lighten our attachment to self-image, we find a different vantage point from which to observe who we are” (Dass 34). Megan S. pointed out in her post that we have to really discover who we are before we can begin to help others. However, I feel as though I am helping for all the right reasons. I know I want to make a positive impact on others because I am content with my life right now. I know that I am a student at UT and desire to some day, some how do something positive. I still may spend money on unnecessary wants but does that mean I am not a truly helpful person? I don’t think so, and I don’t feel that is what Rass is attempting to get at. Take Oprah for example, she recently fulfilled her dream of opening an All-Girls School in South Africa, yet she is still one of the richest women in America, Gucci dresses and all.

My point is we can live “normal” lives and still recognize our desires to help others. For some reason, I don’t feel, at this stage in my life, a need to drop everything and dedicate my life to one single cause like the monk Dass mentioned. However, it is interesting to note the idea of suffering and listening. With regards to listening, I agree that “all we have to do is listen—really listen” (Dass 69). Often times, I find myself too busy to just drop everything and listen, yet at the same time, I request that type of commitment from friends. I know that to be a better friend, I should dedicate myself to listen and truly understand with my friend. Dass comments that we have to hold back our “analytical mind” when we listen and simply let “the intuitive mind… leap to a solution” (Dass 109). I agree wholeheartedly. Whenever I really just need to talk to a friend after a really rough day, I’m not looking for a solution or advice, but rather, I just want someone to listen to what I have to say and just to care (or at least to pretend to care).

In tying listening with suffering, I understand Ram Dass’ point about how we should not be resistant to suffering, for it is suffering that allows us to better understand and to better feel compassionate towards others. I feel as though suffering is a vital aspect of compassion because it removes the roles of “philanthropist” and “supplicant” as mentioned before, and leads to more empathetic helping. “Pain alone is not the enemy; the real enemy is fear and resistance” (Dass 79). I agree with Dass when he says that we are pushing ourselves away from suffering. This explains why the suburbs are such an ideal place to raise children. And this is also why I dislike living in the suburbs so much. In high school, I liked living in the suburbs because it was so perfect. The manicured lawns, high schools build around neighborhoods, and the mall and restaurants. However, when I got to college, I realize how ridiculous the suburbs are. In my passion paper, I mentioned how my parents tried to seclude me from all that was evil and corrupt, poverty and suffering. However, I now better understand life and reality.

Reading the first part of Ram Dass’ How Can I Help? was thought provoking. I anticipate reading the next part of the book and seeing how else I can shape my passion for compassion.