The Fine Line between Pleasure and Happiness (Compassion)

A few weeks ago, I read an article entitled Happiness 101 in the New York Times. The journalist gave a recollection of his experience in a “positive-psychology” class, noting specifically that the professor, Todd Kashdan, emphasized the different between personal pleasure and actual happiness. For the first part of the assignment, Kashdan surveyed his class about the things they did that deemed pleasurable. The responses were exclusive, relevant only to the person who recounted it. In fact, most of them dealt with “getting trashed on weekend” or “engaging in sexual intercourse 30 feet underwater.” In the second part of the assignment, however, each student in the class was required to go out and perform a sort of community service, helping and concentrating on someone else other than themselves. The responses this time were no different from the initially excited ones. However it was then that the professor pointed out a fine distinction between actual pleasure and happiness.

Pleasure is an amusement park. Happiness is enlightenment.

What distinguishes happiness from pleasure? The most obvious difference would be that pleasure is rooted deep in selfishness while the other is universal. Perhaps it is in this instance where we experience that natural compassion that is inherent in all of us, causing us to experience true happiness. Like Mary already pointed out, to care is like a reflex. When we are met with problems, “we sense what’s called for or if we don’t, someone else will come up with an idea, and it’s just right.” (Dass, 5)

In fact, Dass suggests that we harbor this “reflex.” And with this “unity,” “true compassion” is able to rise from it. (Dass, 20)

Compassion is rooted in selfless acts. And with compassion, it seems that we are able to achieve a different (but pure) happiness. To avoid personal pleasure that does not really yield gain or compassion, Dass advocates that we do not limit ourselves and our minds to specific labels and roles. By doing this, we train ourselves to be better listeners and to be the “witness with a listening mind.” We rid ourselves of the inhibiting ego and are able to obtain compassion:

“‘Keep the doors locked and we’ll be secure,’ says the ego. Our heart responds, ‘But I’m not happy like that.’ To which the ego replies, ‘Better safe than sorry.’”(Dass, 23)

The first step to achieving a true model of compassion according to Dass is not to tap the reasoning portion of our minds, but the “aware” part: “There is awareness itself and what we sometimes think of as the deeper qualities of the mind. Most of us know how supportive it is merely to be in the presence of a mind that is open, quiet, playful, receptive, or reflective.”

(Dass, 94)