Project 4 - Self Evaluations   P4A 1. Focus – 6 Thesis – By continually learning, being a genuine person, and learning to help others, I will be on my way to living the most meaningful and productive life possible. The focus of the paper could be improved by smoothing the transitions between the ideas and making more explicit among the different sub-points to unify them to a connected whole. Additionally, it might help to make some of the somewhat abstract ideas more concrete to bring across the point more clearly. 2. Organization – 6 Although the paper has a fairly clear organization, the transitions could be made smoother and made to better link the subsequent ideas. This would help the paper seem less like a collection of scattered ideas and more like a complete thought. 3. Flow – 5 The writing is, for the most part, smooth, though some of the sentences are wordy and could be cut down. Additionally, since the paper exceeds the required word minimum, the language could be tightened quite a bit, both on the paragraph and sentence level. P4B  1. Focus – 6 I reworked the introduction, breaking it down into smaller parts and incorporating the thesis earlier to make it more relevant to the focus of my entire paper. I also went through the body of the paper and reworked or cut portions that weren't closely tied to my thesis. The thesis was the same: I hope to become a life-long learner, a more genuine individual, and a more caring individual. 2. Organization – 7 I spent a great deal of time reworking the introduction of my paper. I tried to make it relate more directly to the overall ideas in my paper. Additionally, I tried to give it its own, smaller-scale organization so that it flowed logically. Finally, I worked on the transitions and topic sentences of the body paragraphs, making them tie more directly back to the thesis. 3. Flow – 6 I also edited for wordiness and tried to eliminate extraneous portions of my paper. I tried to make the writing more interesting and direct.