Post 5: Medicine and Compassion

    This morning when I sat down to read Medicine & Compassion, I felt an immediate connection to the text, the words which verbalized and summarized many of the challenges IÕve encountered in college thus far. The question ÒDoe is make practical sense to try to cultivate kindness and compassion when the world appears to be so competitive?Ó (Rinpoche, 15) spoke to me because I find myself in a constant internal battle between these two forces. I want to compete, need someone to compete with in order to do well myself. For instance, in my chemistry class, if I lacked an intelligent study partner, I would have no motivation to do well myself. After contemplating the question above, I realized that this need of mine is very selfish. My intentions are not pure and therefore not compassionate. So I began hanging on every word of the book, looking for a solution for my dilemma. 

    In Chapter 1, I first found a phrase that I find my perception to be in contradiction with: ÒBuddhism defines compassion as the sincere wish to alleviate the suffering of another. This desire to alleviate anotherÕs pain includes not only their present experience of discomfort but also the cause of their suffering, the underlying reasons they are not well. This kind of genuine desire to make others feel better and not suffer is what compassion is all aboutÓ (Rinpoche, 22). At first, it only seems that this would hinder because it creates the need for a person to fill the role of Òhelper,Ó a role that according to Ram Dass prevents one from truly helping and creates barriers. The paragraph may not have this intention, though. My next reaction was that, according to Rinpoche, compassion must require action, or a ÒFix YouÓ type of approach to helping others. But this

Single artwork for the song "Fix You." Is fixing another what we really need to do? 

 disappointed me greatly because I find that often, when another is in need of a compassionate exchange, he or she really just needs someone to listen. I know that personally, I donÕt mind having problems. It doesnÕt bother me that I had an argument with my parents or that my aging family is ailing or any number of other issues are dragging me down nearly as much as the fact that other people have the same problems, we just canÕt connect. I know that if anyone who is willing to just listen (not listen for hours and hours while I rant and rave, but just know one or two things), that person would show more compassion and help me more than anyone who could make those problems go away. And I donÕt think IÕm alone. I think that many people just need someone to care about simply knowing, not fixing. On the very next page, Rinpoche quotes the Buddha, saying Òwe should try to achieve a state of mind described as Ôemptiness suffused with compassionÕÓ (Rinpoche, 23). I have to admit that this lost me even further. How can one be empty and yet compassionate? This seems to contradict the very goal of this course, to connect. People connect because they know the pain of another, can sympathize with another, like the definition of compassion mentions. If we empty ourselves, then yes, we are there fully for another. But that seems strange to me. Why would I want someone who is here only for me? That puts too great a responsibility on me to do something great in order to justify the fact that someone else is there solely for me. And emptying myself, well, how can I then truly understand the problems of another? It may help me to get inside their mind and understand where they are coming from, but it prevents any intuition or secondary perspectives that might aid the other in overcoming obstacles. 

    Finally, it is interesting how both help-others books we have read have had several repeated themes. The idea of fulfilling certain roles (chapter 3), of suffering common to all people (chapter 2), and the importance of doing something good were present in both books. I thought the books so far was very insightful, and the details I got caught up on are subordinate to the one infinitely important point Rinpoche makes in Chapter 5, ÒÉwe should begin right away, because the amount of time we have left in our lives is uncertain. Life does not go on foreverÓ (Rinpoche, 39).