EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SUMMARY By: Stephan Jenkins        Being smart can be defined in many different ways. Some say intelligence is measured simply by IQ, while others say it is the combination of both IQ and emotional control. The second definition of intelligence is how Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence, defines it. Daniel Goleman believes that a person does not necessarily need a high IQ to be successful in life, but they must be what he deems emotionally literate, or aware and in control of their emotions.        The ideas and theories Goleman produces are not just conjured up out of thin air, but have much scientific data to help back them up. Goleman uses many studies of the brain and how its sections work in different situations to back up his theories. The first two chapters of Emotional Intelligence are dedicated to explaining these complex workings.        The sections of the brain that are examined most carefully in these first two chapters are the thalamus, the visual cortex, and the amygdala. The amygdala in particular plays one the most important roles in how a person reacts to a situation. This section of the brain is highly studied because it controls the fight or flight response for a person. The flight or fight response is an emotional reaction triggered by the amygdala telling a person to either make a stand or run from a particular situation. The amygdala is so powerful that it can cause a person to make a decision before he or she fully understands what is happening(Ch 2, p 17).        After the anatomy of the brain is discussed, Goleman goes on to explain exactly what emotional intelligence is and how it works in our everyday lives. In chapter three, When Smart is Dumb, Goleman explores why some people with high IQs do relatively poor when dealing with people. This can be attributed to a lack of social intelligence, or the ability to understand others and act in an appropriate manner. Many examples of this trait can be seen in jobs and other social activities everyday. An excellent example shows how having a high social intelligence can benefit managers by allowing them to pick up on tacit messages(Ch 3, p 42).        One of the largest problems in today’s society is the inability to control rage. It is common to hear stories of people killing each other because of a dirty look or a squabble over a parking place. Goleman examines why people get angry, how to manage anger, and how to ventilate it without causing harm to others. Some suggestions for such ventilation are taking a walk, doing strenuous exercise, or even simply watching television. Any activity that will take a person’s mind off of what has made them upset can calm them down and keep them from entering a state of rage.        While the ability to control anger and rage is an important part of an individuals emotional intelligence, so is the ability to be empathetic. Realizing when someone is hurting physically or emotionally and comforting them appropriately is an important life skill. If a person lacks the ability to be empathetic, he or she may project themselves as cold and uncaring. This can lead to difficulties later in life when dealing with peers and spouses.        A person completely void of empathy is many times referred to as a psychopath. These individuals have no remorse for any action they commit, and when they turn to crime they commit some of the most horrifying acts known to man. These people suffer from an emotional defect known as psychopathy, the inability to feel empathy or compassion of any sort, or the least twinge of conscience(Ch 7, p 107). While there is no excuse for the crimes these people commit, there is evidence that these actions may stem from a neural defect which makes psychopaths have no empathetic feelings for their own safety or the safety and feelings of others.        Simply knowing the definition of emotional intelligence is not enough, it must be applied to everyday life in order for it to make our lives more fulfilling. One of the most important places emotional intelligence can be applied is when dealing with a spouse. Many relationships do not last simply because partners do not pay attention to each anthers feelings. When entering into an argument, partners should examine how their partner is reacting so the problem can be worked out as quickly as possible.        Many times couples simply say what they feel and dismiss what is being projected to them by their partner. This can cause severe irritation for one or both of the members in the argument which leads to an emotional condition known as flooding. Flooding is when an individual becomes so emotionally distressed that they cannot function in a rational matter(Ch 9, p 139). Once this occurs it is almost impossible to resolve the dispute rationally. When flooding occurs, the best way to get back to a normal emotional state is to take a few minutes apart to cool down and regain control. It is because many couples do not pay attention to their spouse’s feelings that so many relationships fail.        While an obvious advantage of emotional intelligence is to aid in relationships with spouses, it can also aid in a person’s physical health. There are some studies that show there is at least a small connection between emotion and health. People who are generally under severe stress or anger tend to be more susceptible to illness, while individuals who are generally upbeat and happy tend to recover from illness and injury quicker. Anger in particular can cause health problems. Goleman explains that people who are chronically angry are more susceptible to problems of the heart(Ch 11, p 170-171). Stress or anxiety is another emotion that can have a deficit on a person’s health. In studies of people with chronic diseases, those individuals who were stressed about dying seemed to die much quicker than the people who stayed upbeat about life. In fact the upbeat group in some cases seemed to improve their health to an extent. While simply being in a good mood will not guarantee a healthy life, it can definitely decrease the chance of frequent illness, and it will also make for a more enjoyable person to be around.        While many emotional skills are instilled in us at birth or are learned very early in life, they are not set in stone. If a bad emotional habit is formed from childhood or a traumatic event, it can be erased through emotional relearning. Many times a person goes through a horrific experience that scars them emotionally. Later in life this emotional scarring can cause a person to react inappropriately in very normal situations. For example, a Vietnam veteran may break out into a cold sweat and think he is being fired upon when he simply hears a car back fire. Goleman explains these types of reactions as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD(Ch 13, p 201).        Even though people suffering from PTSD have extreme reactions to everyday events, they can overcome this mental programming. The most effective way of emotional relearning is through reliving the experience. While this is very difficult at first, it can give a victim the chance to become desensitized to the trauma by reliving it over and over in a state of low tension. While exercises such as this may not completely relieve a person from their emotional scarring, Goleman explains that it can give a person great relief and a chance for a normal life.   It may seem that being in control of one’s emotions is not important, but emotional illiteracy can be very costly. Many juveniles today grow up with little control of their emotions. These young men and women typically end up in trouble with the law at an early age. However, there is hope for these troubled juveniles. Goleman explains that many programs are being implemented to help guide people toward emotional literacy and keep them out of trouble(Ch 15, p 238). Anger management classes have been introduced to help young men see the perspective of the people they encounter every day. This program gives the boys the ability to see past their hostility and control a potentially violent situation.   In general this book has made me reexamine myself. It has caused me to look at how I deal with the world in a whole new light. The sections of the book dealing with anxiety and stress interested me in particular. Learning to deal with the stress of everyday life can make living much more enjoyable. Not only can it make a person more enjoyable to be around, but it can also affect physical health.   Anxiety and stress seem to build on each other making a persons emotional state less and less healthy. Many times worrying leads to worrying about something else, which leads to worrying about something else. This pattern becomes quite troublesome when stress becomes so high that a person does nothing but spend their time in worrisome thoughts.   It is not just realizing that we are being put under stress, but giving ourselves methods to relieve this stress. Each individual needs to find his or her own way of relieving anxiety. Many times this simply means stepping back from a situation and realizing how trivial it is. This does not mean that a person can live stress free, but that when simply realized many trivial stressful factors in life can be eliminated.   If emotional intelligence is so important, then why are so many people uneducated about it? It is simply because until just recently emotional intelligence has not been very well understood. But now that the positive aspects of emotional intelligence are being projected to the general public, it is important that all people start learning to control their emotionas. It can only help to better our society and make for a stronger human race.