The wind has been getting stronger al day. I got to the ponds about 45 minutes early. When I arrived, the sun was glowing a with this subtle warmness that seemed to make me feel better about everyhting. Now it is blowing wind which is harder and colder than before. The sun hides behind the clouds. As I look around, I realize that as nice as this area is, it's not nature. They are glorified cemment ponds stocked with turtles who get poked in the head with sticks. That's right, sticks. After visiting Waller Creek, I had some time to kill, so I came here. I took a few pictures, and I think that one of them was of some guy poking a turtle in the HEAD with a twig, in s some lame attempt to get a response. It seems that no matter how far we evolve, we still seem to be facsinated by out power over other creatures. We have this innate ability to pass off our curiosity, and torturous deeds as science, or fooling around. AS we tease our wnvironment with sculptured ponds, and lasndscaped easments, we only make it pretty to us. How much do you think that the wild animals that hide in the brush, appreciate us when we clear the land so it's not so congested. I am sure it's not congested to those that make homes there. ANd maybe animals don't have the mental capacity to think out htis process, and understand what is happening, but we do. Knowing about it and passing it off is what makes us takers. However, over the years man has begun to try to rectify his actions(or at least in some places). So maybe, with "the use of animals for furs, for testing, for zoo exhibitions, and for food [being] the subject of heated discussion..."(Birds and Beasts 93). Hopefully we will be able to resolve this problem. If not, the consequences could be disasterous. And this brings to my next thought. The paradox of the environmentalist. I personally eat meat, I have lots of wood, plastic, metal and leather things. I paid a zoo to let me look at all the cute animals who are so depraved of a life. almost every Double Yellow Headed AMazon that the San Antonio Zoo has, has developed stress punctures intheir lung sacks. The AFrican Greys are all pluckers, and are surely not socialized with. All so I can pay eight dollars for this public humiliation life. I am not trying only write about things that are full of melancholy after tones, or straight up depressing, it just turns out that way. I am actully very happy, but writing always evokes a deeper response than one seems to reach on an everyday level. It's good for me. I wish I knew how to help. I wish I new how to help but not change the way I live my life(it's hard to change). I wish I could write something happy for once in this journal. I'll try. I think that evolution is a beautifull thing. I don's understand how people can be threatened by it. Darwin himself was very religious. It bothers me when people defame his character because they fear what he thought to be natural. SOme legends I have heard say that he repented on his deathbed and took everyhting back. Others say he wen tinsane as punishment. In response to that, Darwin's cousin and wife had 9 children(I think), and only two of them survived past the age of 5. 7 children died. That would be enough to send me over the edge. But as far as the bible goes, I do not understand how one can take someting to literally. I beleive that one should always look at facts first. And to me, the fact is that things change. There is nothing magical, or evil about it. Darwin simply stated his observations. And his observations were that "individuals having an advantage, however slight, over others, would have the greatest chance of surviving". I don't understand how that can be contested. Species have changed in a generations lifetime. Pepper moths changed colors because of soot that was sticking to trees during the industrial revolution. Whales have a pelvis bone. WHy on earth would they be created with a bone with the prime objective of having legs. EVen when dealing with ourselves, our DNA is 98% similiar to chimpanzees. SOme anthropologist are trying to move the clasification of chimanzees to under the genus Homo. ANd if these beleifes are heresy to ones religion, why can evolution be the means to which god perfects his creations? I don't fully understand everything, nobody does. I wish a lot of things it seems.