Celeste, This is a very good essay. I think that you have a very unique and creative idea for your essay. It is not very often that we get an escape from reality back into childhood. You do a good job of displaying your feelings during the game and the campout. I think that your story shows a lot of imagination. You should try and expand on that imagination. Remember that many people have never been camping or they have lost that childhood capability to use their imagination. Tell where the sounds seem to come from and maybe give some metaphors as to what they sound like. Another suggestion is to compare it to more recent memories of camping. Maybe you could say how nature is different to you from this new perspective you have now. That way you have new material and your stury will be more effective. Good Job.