You really like to write poems, and the ones you have written for this class are very entertaining. I like the way that you incorported your hunting story into this poem. I think that you should definately thinka about adding some more details about the actual nature that surrounded you. Tell me more about the sunrise or the stars, or even tell me more about the trees that surrounded you and hid you from the deer's sight. Just talk some more about the nature and how it affected you. Also, I am a little confused, is this story in the future? Or do you really have a wife? Just wondered!