That sounds like it must have been an amazing vactaion! I cannot imagine swimming with the dolphins. That sounds like something that could only happen in a dream. That is really cool that you got to do that. All I can tell you is to add more detail. You could describe things like: How did you feel towards the dolphins while you were swimming with them. Did they feel like friends, or did you feel like one of the dolphins? Go into further detail about the parasailing experience, from the time you left the ground initially, to when you landed again. Talk more about how you felt before, during, and after. When you were drowning, and when the hurricane set in, you sounded like you were mad at nature for ruining a part of the vacation. You seemed to enjoy sitting on the porch watching the storm, though. Did your feelings toward nature transform from this pecimism as you sat and watched the falling rain on the beach? It must have been beautiful. Alright, I cannot think of anything else. You did a good job.