ࡱ> FDG}` gjbjb >ddg>>>>>>>t~~~~t0tKD`HHHHHHH„ĄĄĄĄĄĄ,R>HHHHH„>>HH„„„H:>H>H„„Rf>>>>H„„„>>„ Ǿ~@„„0K„„„„>tt>@>tt@November 4, 2004 Dear Brian, You know how sometimes, when youre around the right people, and the mood and the conversation are just right, you know exactly what you think about something and how to say it? But if you dont write it down right away, you lose it again, like snow in Texas. Thats how I felt when you were visiting a few weeks ago. The three of us were sitting outside under a sort of canopy by the Alumni Center near Waller Creek in the middle of the night. It was lit at first, but the lights went off eventually. We were left in darkness, except for three lit trees about fifteen feet away from us. I had a fleeting grasp of a metaphor, or maybe of that sense of unity with the rest of the world. For the briefest of moments, I was fully able to penetrate the barrier which space put between you, Ari, the trees, and myself, and to secure a momentary but complete identification with all of you.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes01.htm"1 We were those trees. At the very least, we and the trees were reflections of each other in that moment. I knew what I wanted to say right then, but Ive lost the words again. Ill have to start rebuilding from scratch. I think youve noticed that Ive been hung up on nostalgia for a few months. It started off with feeling nostalgic for last fall. That was the happiest Ive ever been, at least in the illusion that comes with looking back. I began searching for ways to evoke nostalgia. Driving on 2222 was the most powerful way, especially listening to certain songs. Music evokes past emotions better than anything for me, which makes sense, considering the well-known psychological phenomenon known as state-dependent memory: you remember better in the context where you experienced something.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes02.htm"2 Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows does this so well because I was hooked on it last fall thats probably why its my favorite song. We all want something beautiful. It makes me so happy. I feel like more of an optimist when Im listening to that song than at any other time. Believe in me / Help me believe in anything / I want to be someone who believes.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes03.htm"3 Another song that evokes this nostalgic, longing, and yet somehow hopeful mood is Frou Frous Let Go, maybe because it was used in the trailer for the movie Garden State. You really need to see that movie, Brian. Like the HYPERLINK "http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/garden_state/"teaser trailer HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes04.htm"4 promised, the movie conveyed this mood for almost two hours. We talked about nostalgia for an hour out there near Waller Creek that night, and Ive thought about it for many more hours than that. I feel like Ive just been throwing that word around: nostalgia, nos-tal-gia, n-o-s-t-a-l-g-i-a, until it dissociates into nothingness. What exactly is it that Im talking about, and where does it come from? Well, first of all, I think its largely dependent on repetition or routine. You dont feel nostalgic for something that happened in isolation; you merely retain a fond memory of it. But things like the sum of what happened in your childhood, or Ari and I driving to UT every Friday last fall to visit Megan, or even the routines of high school life, allow nostalgia to develop. But Ive also realized that nostalgia itself is an illusion. You feel some strange combination of longing and sadness and happiness and unity and meaning and despair. You think youre feeling the same way you felt last fall, or whatever time periods memories are evoking the nostalgia. But thats a lie. This is not how you felt then. This is how you feel now. Yet at the same time, I dont just mean nostalgia in the sense of missing something that has passed. Its even more complicated than that. There are other layers. Remember? Sometimes, I think I feel nostalgic for something that hasnt even happened, Ari said at one point. Exactly! I burst out. Its like you are waiting for something to happen to fulfill the longing you feel. But you dont know what. Just something. You brooded in your usual way for a few moments, and then declared, There is something in C.S. Lewiss biography which I never fully understood until just this very second. (How very typical of you to bring C.S. Lewis into every conversation!) In his book Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis begins by discussing three specific childhood memories that filled him with a kind of longing. Reflecting on the first, a memory of a "toy garden" his brother once made for him, Lewis realizes that before [he] knew what [he] desired, the desire itself was gone, the whole glimpse withdrawn, the world turned commonplace again, or only stirred by a longing for the longing that had just ceased. It had taken only a moment of time; and in a certain sense everything else that had ever happened to [him] was insignificant in comparison.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes05_1.htm"5.1 It is particularly significant that especially childhood memories should draw up such a strong sense of longing, not only for that event in one's childhood, but for a larger, more important, and yet somehow unknown something. (I'll discuss the childhood aspect of my nostalgia in more detail later.) Thus, Lewis asserts that in a sense the central story of [his] life is about nothing else than an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. He calls this desire joy, but insists that it is distinctly different from happiness and pleasure because, although we want to experience it, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes05_2.htm"5.2 Brian, you were right. This is an important part of what my nostalgia is. You proceeded to connect this to a longing for heaven. But you know Ari and me: we dont want to and cant take any sort of proof for religious beliefs in the way that you can. My nostalgia for something other than what Ive already experienced doesnt prove the existence of heaven to me. It just proves that so many people have some sense of it and need labels such as heaven to explain it and come to terms with it. But like C.S. Lewis, I feel utterly consumed by it. All of this talk about nostalgia also reminded me of something weve been talking about in my World Lit class: a sense of place. I didnt get a chance to tell you and Ari about this that night I would have liked to stay there talking all night, but you had to go back home, and I had class early the next morning so I wanted to add some of those ideas. The need for a sense of place, to me, has its basis in the need for sense of belonging, which is one aspect of my nostalgia. It is a love of security, or an habitually undisputed standing-ground or sleeping-place.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes06.htm"6 This is most easily found in a home by which I do not just mean a house. You know how deeply I love Austin. Consider what Barry Lopez says: that a relationship with place is a fundamental human defense against loneliness.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes07.htm"7. When I first read this, lyrics from the Red Hot Chili Peppers song Under the Bridge immediately appeared in my consciousness: Sometimes I feel like/ My only friend/ Is the city I live in.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes08.htm"8We somehow create relationships with the places we live in, partly because our memories are irreversibly linked to where they took place. I realized this quite strongly while I worked on my HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/roadmap/roadmap.htm""Roadmap of Places in my Life" project for World Lit. In some ways, where something happened is more important than exactly when it happened. Garden State is so powerful because it hits on this idea of a sense of place so intensely. One scene (the fourth clip on HYPERLINK "http://www.cinemovies.fr/fiche_extrait.php?IDfilm=2266"this site), quoted more than a few times in my own and my classmates journals, addresses this exactly. Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you can put your stuff, that idea of home is gone. Sam: I still feel at home in my house. Andrew: You'll see when you move out. It just sort of happens one day, and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean, it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes09.htm"9 Weve all been struggling with that since weve moved off to college. Our dorm rooms are only quasi-homes, and when we return to our actual homes, we feel a bit out of place, left out, and almost anxious to return to the dorm. I've included a picture of my room for you, since you only got to see it briefly. You feel all of this even more than I do, being at Notre Dame, since I can get home in half an hour whenever I want to. It is no coincidence that our word nostalgia comes from the Greek nostos, which means to return home.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes10.htm"10 The reason this movie affected most people of our generation so much is that it indirectly expresses this inexplicable longing around which Ive been trying to wrap my fingers, like being homesick for a place that doesnt exist. One review even says that it is a film that speaks to an entire generation.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes11.htm"11 That is the magnitude of this phenomenon of nostalgia. What I did briefly mention the night of our conversation is that weve been talking about childhood nostalgia in World Lit as well. Though I dont think that all of this nostalgia Im obsessed with is based on a longing for childhood, this is undoubtedly a part of it and might help you to understand what I mean. According to Edith Cobb, adults seldom feel the need to be a child but rather experience a deep desire to renew the ability to perceive as a child and to participate with the whole bodily selfHYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes12.htm"12 in the surrounding world. It is hard to find such happiness as an adult or a near-adult in the seeming complexity of everyday life because the calm, wondrous, and unifying connection with nature has been lost. And yet, we are invariably drawn to reminders of this way of being. The first few lines of Blakes Auguries of Innocence appealed to almost everyone in my World Lit class: To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hourHYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes13.htm"13 Its sad, really, that we inevitably lose this sense of childhood. One of the best examples is Christmas. I distinctly remember the year when the month-long holiday season lost the mystical quality I had always associated with it. The Christmas tree had been put up and the house was decorated, but I just kept waiting and waiting for that special Christmas feeling I remembered from previous years. Even with the onset of vacation, I just kept waiting, until there was nothing left to wait for: Christmas had passed, the tree was taken down, and the second semester began. I've never quite been able to explain why this happened that year, but using it as a milestone, my childhood ended in sixth grade. This is what is expressed in a vignette called The Mystery: spoken by a child (though quite obviously not written by one it is an adults expression of childhood nostalgia). The secret of being happy [is] to feel the mystery.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes14.htm"14 The desire to feel this is an essential part of childhood nostalgia as well as of the broader nostalgia and longing that I mean. Just the next week after your visit, we spent an entire class period at Waller Creek. I vividly remembered my two other significant experiences there. The first was one Sunday afternoon when I parked my car on San Jacinto and walked from there to Jester for lunch. It was one of those days just at the beginning of Texas fall, when the temperature is absolutely perfect and the sunlight suddenly takes on a new, gentler quality that, for me, evokes overwhelming feelings of nostalgia. I walked along the creek and thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the day. My second experience at the creek was the one with you and Ari that set up the premise for this account. The creek, with its waters rushing and trickling over rocks, an oasis hidden from view by tall and thick trees, seems to be a perfect backdrop for these feelings of nostalgia and immersion in beauty. This phenomenon is heightened at night, I think, when the distractions of construction and cars cannot be heard. The preservation of nature, especially in an urban setting, reflects attempts to deal with what I have come to consider a kind of mass nostalgia, as can be seen in essays like Synders Poetry and the Primitive, which express the idea that perhaps civilization has something to learn from the primitive.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes15.htm"15 It is this mass nostalgia for nature that causes people to be willing to die defending trees and results in such events as the 1969 Waller Creek Riot. Jones quotes the Austin American Statesman indicating that the protesters were saddened by the loss of mans fast-receding natural environment.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes16.htm"16 You would like this man we read about, Joseph Jones. He spent over forty years in a relationship with Waller Creek. Waller Creek served as a sort of home (remember what I said about a sense of place?) for Jones, while at the same time fulfilling his human need to cultivate fresh acquaintance with those remaining parts of our cities which most easily and powerfully reopen past time, returning us to our half-forgotten origins.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes17.htm"17 This single statement echoes the sentiments behind the mass nostalgia that protesters and poets like Snyder attempt to remedy. There's one last thing Id like to mention to you and maybe even get your opinion about. Is the nostalgia good or bad, constructive or destructive, a help or a hindrance? Consider two alternatives: Sometimes feeling nostalgic even gets in the way of really experiencing the present moment, I lamented to you and Ari at one point during our conversation. I feel so consumed by a longing for something else that I cant immediately see the beauty of what is happening right now. Im always searching for something, and I dont believe it when I tell myself that this search might be a reward in itself. E.M. Forster has a story called The Other Side of the Hedge that addresses this somewhat. Its basically about being happy without having to always move forward and be productive. The storys narrator says of the people on the other side of the hedge from normal productive life that they all seemed happy; and [he] might have been happy too, if [he] could have forgotten that the place led nowhere.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes18.htm"18 I first read this story a few days after I talked to you on the phone, when you told me to find a beautiful and peaceful place to step out of hectic college life for a while. Youd love my World Lit class, because we do that all the time, at places like the Turtle Ponds or the Taniguchi Garden. In fact, I jotted Send this story to Brian in the margin of The Other Side of the Hedge. It's hard to step out of everything going on around us, though. I am always running around trying to finish things early, so that I can have more time later to... finish more things early. It's a vicious cycle. You know how it goes. On the other hand, when I summarized our conversation during a World Lit class discussion, Chris said Sometimes I feel like Im nostalgic for this very moment. Like, this is something Im going to be able to tell my grandkids about. Ive felt this too havent you? These are moments when C.S. Lewis's "joy" is present and not painful. Do you remember when, at Anushs birthday party last year, we walked to the nearby elementary school and Joel climbed onto the roof and threw a watermelon onto the pavement below? I felt so nostalgic for and because of that event the exact moment it happened. HYPERLINK "http://www.froeschele.com/poems/watermelon.htm" Poems spring out of moments like this. Sometimes I think the reason I haven't managed to write a good poem in months is that I've been unable to feel my nostalgia in the beautiful way I could feel it that night. Such fulfillment is rare. My nostalgia is a constant search for beauty and unity that I want to feel right now but cant always reach because I am so blinded by wanting to. I suppose this continual struggle is worth those exceptional moments when it is possible. What do you think? --------------------- reader responses: Basically, I loved your project. It put into words what I think most college students suffered, or are suffering from. It certainly put my thoughts and inexplicable emotions into perspective.. Its sad, really, that we inevitably lose this sense of childhood. One of the best examples is Christmas. I distinctly remember the year that the almost month-long holiday season did not hold the mystical quality I had always associated with it. Using this as a milestone, my childhood ended in sixth grade. I think you have done a wonderful job of putting emotions that everyone feels but cannot express into words. I can identify with nearly everything you write about and I think it's really cool to see my own thoughts before me written by someone else. Nostalgia is such a crazy thing because it is always present in my thoughts and I, like you, have yet to decide whether its influence is a good or a bad thing. Great paper. I liked the format and you definitely captured the feelings of nostalgia that we've all been feeling in these first few months. You have been able to articulate the struggle that every college freshmen goes through but has no idea how to express it. Your letter spoke to me because it could have been me speaking it. I liked how personal it was - I think that emphasized your nostalgia. I really liked your journal. You consistently make comments which bring forward in me feelings uncomfortable in their honesty. (I hope you understand what I mean by honest feelings) This letter certainly put words around thoughts Ive had for a while and, indeed, made me nostalgic while I read it. Cruel irony. 2nd semester contributions to a DB on nostalgia (for a dictionary definition go to end) An Effort to Resist the Passing of Time All last semester, I longed for my home in The Woodlands and the sight of familiar faces and streets. My ten years in The Woodlands has made it a home, and my eighteen years of age has made it time for me to find a new home in Austin. Time brings continuity and change, and amidst all of it, nostalgia has become a way of resisting its passage and the change that it brings. Much of nostalgia is about people who share the same memories and sense of longing. In The Book of Ruth, Naomi survived the death of her husband, but had their sons by which to remember him and their memories. The three were able to remember Elimelech because they share many of the memories, as well as the longing for their lost husband and father. In my bouts of homesickness last semester, I found a close friend in a fellow Plan II-er who also comes from The Woodlands but did not meet until we arrived on campus. Within a few weeks, we felt like old friends simply because we share longings for the same hometown and some of the same friends. By remembering The Woodlands together, we have been able to resist the passing of time and the accompanying change. In fact, our conversations are probably not very different from the one that Franzi shared with Brian and Ari by Waller Creek. In short, nostalgia is best when shared with others. Although time brings change, its irreversible passage also marks a certain sense of continuity. Time is the Energizer bunny of human history; it can be counted on to continue indefinitely. In "Ode on Melancholy," time inevitably whisks away the "Beauty that must die" and ushers in the "melancholy fit / that fosters the droop-headed flowers all / And hides the green hill in an April shroud." And, because of the unpreventable passage of time, we know all things are fleeting as we steadily move from birth to death. I know that with time, my feelings of homesickness will become a thing of the past, and Austin will become my new home. After graduation, I might even become homesick for Austin and college life. It's a perpetual cycle and it can be counted on to be so because time will always continue and bring change along with it. Keats aptly captured this sense in "Joy and Sorrow": "Laugh and sigh, and laugh again." Keats juxtaposed opposites of emotion, weather, and milestones of life in "Joy and Sorrow." Such couplings are very much like nostalgia itself. As I turn to nostalgia as a way of remembering the past and resisting the changes brought by time, the experience itself is very bittersweet. My heart experiences tormented emotions as I long for reminders of home, but it also reaches heights of elation when I am finally able to return to the room in which I grew up. The emotions are "Of the day, and of the night." But, as I'm sure many of you have also experienced, things are never quite the same as you remembered it. When I return to my room, the floor is scattered with my brother's video games and my closet has grown with additions from my mom's wardrobe. While I was gone, the past- the continuity of home- that I longed for was also changing. "Time and tide wait for noman." Nostalgia is only a limited effort to resist the passing of time. The people and places that we long for change, as do the memories in our minds. We tend to look upon the past with rose-tinted glasses and augment the good while eliminating the undesirable. I often find that after longing for something over an extended period of time, I begin to construct an idealized version of the notion that is staggeringly different from reality. A few weeks ago, I couldn't wait to be reunited with my best friend who attends college in New York. I could hardly contain my excitement and recall the endless stories that I wanted to share with him. But, a few short moments after our conversation began, I realized that he has changed, and I've perhaps constructed an idealized friend from our best memories. Such is the roller coaster of emotions I have experienced over the past month of being at home. Nevertheless, I am once again becoming nostalgic for home as I realize that my second semester at UT starts in less than a week. Even though I have found The Woodlands to be very different from the one in my memory, I still long for it in an attempt to hold on to the past and resist the change that as brought me to Austin. Despite the ephemeral quality of memories and the continuity of time, I know I will always miss The Woodlands, even as new stores pop up on every corner and my brother, who is now taller than me, turns my room into his very own video game heaven. My nostalgia for home will always remain, complete with the roller coaster of emotions. After all, perhaps nostalgia is best when shared with others and filled with the full spectrum of emotions. The Transfer of My Nostalgia I am packing up my home, once again, and moving it back to Austin. I remember doing the same thing in August but so much has changed since then! Over this break, I have thought a lot about how this class has helped clarify what I have felt these past couple months. When we first started talking about nostalgia, I resisted the feeling, that looking back that stirred something in Franzi. It was easier for me to deny my feelings then to confront them. I feel like I spent most of last semester suspended in a place of hope that actually was denial. I denied my loneliness and replaced it with work. I denied my discomfort and blamed it on others. I denied my fear and focused on my strength. But it didnt work. By the time I returned home, I was a wreck. Embarrassing as it is, the moment I came home was the instant that my world, which I had so successfully held upright for months and months, finally fell apart. Thus began my crazy phase: a decompression from the stress of finals, from my own denial and from the uncertainty that I could not confront. A Song of Opposites reminds me of those days that I succumb to my confusion: Dancing music, music sad, / Both together, sane and mad (Keats). I missed U.T. but I did not want to go back; I spent days with my friends but tired of their drama; I loved my family but wanted to be alone again. Conflicting feelings flooded my emotions and I finally accepted them all, approaching the point where Fair and foul I love[d] together (Keats). Once I was back in the life I had left, I finally felt true nostalgia, the longing and sadness and happiness and unity and meaning and despair for times past (Franzi 2). At first, it was for my life before college. For the first time, I was actually living my disconnection from my family and I understood how bittersweet the reunions with friends would be. I was finally watching the life I once lived die. I feel like I could be Keats, saying to my past: Darkling I listen; and, for many a time / I have been half in love with easeful Death, / calld him soft names in many a mused rhyme, / to take into the air my quiet breath (Ode to a Nightingale). Then one day, I stopped mourning the death of my life in Dallas. Gone it was from my present, although I knew I would always be nostalgic for certain times and people and places. With the departure of this, I started to genuinely miss my life in Austin, that young, shapeless life that I was nurturing into maturity. When people asked me, What do you miss about college? I could never pinpoint a certain source of happiness and I realized that I was actually experiencing nostalgia for U.T., for Austin, not for something that happened in isolation but rather the whole experience that was paused for my return (Franzi 2). Tomorrow, I am finally returning to a different home with a refreshed mind and renewed perspective. And I hope that it makes all the difference. The many unknowns that weighed on my first semester are no longer pulling me back and now, instead of walking cautiously, I will finally be able to run. Be careful, Katie, I feel myself thinking. Keats reminded me of this with his repetition of Lethe in his poems. I returned to our faithful source, The Oxford English Dictionary, to understand the depth of this word: Myth. A river in Hades, the water of which produced, in those who drank it, forgetfulness of the past. Hence, the waters of oblivion or forgetfulness of the past. I must not forget the past! For me, this class has been my way to remember the journey for when I someday reach the end. I cannot even describe what a blessing this break has been for me: a time to relax, reflect and remember. As I have come to see, my dance with nostalgia will never end but after opening up to see my partners in the spin of emotion, I can finally understand that vague longing that I carry wherever I go. Now, more then ever, I agree with Franzis final words in her reflection on nostalgia: I knowthis continual struggle is worth those exceptional moments when it is possible. Keats and Nostalgia One of the most marked feelings I was left with at the end of last semester, and one that I still feel now, is that of disbelief at how incredibly quickly the time flew past. I am confounded by the thought that I have potentially completed 1/8 of my college career. And, as I sat at home over the holidays considering that very idea, I was also met with a feeling of something like disappointment and regret. I cannot say that I did not enjoy my first semester of college and that I did not do many of the things that I had hoped to do, because I did. However, it seems as though most of my experiences were tainted to some degree by my inability to see through the nostalgic mist that invariably clouded my eyes. To be sure, this mist was not of such thickness that I was blind to the existence and value of my new surroundings. But, it was of a sufficient density to keep me from venturing out uninhibited and unchecked into the new world around me. In other words, I feel like many of the actions I took had a focus more in my past than in my future. I did things with the hope of reviving past feelings of happiness and comfort, instead of with the hope of creating a new definition of happiness and comfort in my new environment. But in the end, my bent towards living in and glorifying my feelings of nostalgia has proved to be quite unfulfilling as I realize that not only was I not able, nor will I ever be able, to relive my fond memories of yesterday, but also that I have spent far too many todays and tomorrows in the pursuit of such days long past. I sense in the writings of John Keats strong feelings for the past and an unwillingness to part with what he has known and loved. Such a condition bears many similarities to the one in which I have found myself. Just as I have found that I was clinging to certain hopes and ideas, so too does this excerpt convey and unwillingness to let go: And when I feel, fair creature of an hour! That I shall never look upon thee more, Never have relish in the faery power Of unreflecting love! then on the shore Of the wide world I stand alone, and think Till Love and Fame to nothingness to sink. (Keats) But, it can be said that the pursuit of the past and the happiness that it may have at one time evoked is probably the easy way out and surely not the most profitable; Ay, in the very temple of Delight / Veild Melancholy has her Sovran shrine,. (Keats, Ode on Melancholy) It seems as though any joys derived from such a pursuit cannot be more than temporary and hardly have the power to sustain the heart of man. Am I doomed to dwell in the past forever? That would be depressing, so I should like the thing that the answer is no. Keats eloquently expresses his hope for the future and his faith in human endurance when he writes: But, when the melancholy fit shall fall Sudden from heaven like a sweeping cloud, That fosters the droop-headed flowers all, And hides the green hill in an April shroud; Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose, Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave (Keats, Ode on Melancholy) He does not doubt that we as humans will be overcome by the melancholy fit, but he also does not doubt our ability to cast it off and to see the many prospects the world holds for us. Personally I am very grateful for the opportunity to start fresh this semester. Whatever time I have spent seeking the past is gone now and I look forward to the chance to live my life for the future and not for the past. This is not to say that my past is gone or removed from my being in any way, it just means that I now feel less of a need to keep it alive and active in my day to day life. Thus, I Welcome joy, and welcome sorrow, that I know will inevitably come with new experiences as I lift my misty nostalgic veil to greet a world that beckons my perusal. (Keats, A Song of Opposites) Nostalgia and E.Q. All pictures from Christmas Break In Franzis letter, she remarks that with nostalgia, you feel some strange combination of longing and sadness and happiness and unity and meaning and despair. This idea is similar to John Keats Joy and Sorrow. You can feel sane and mad and laugh and sigh, and laugh again(Keats) all while never really knowing how you feel about anything. That is how I feel about college so far. I guess I like it here, but I just cant convince myself that I am happy, even if I am having fun. I can see the serpents in the red roses (Keats) of good times. I realize that there were plenty of serpents back home too, but perhaps it is like the saying that love is blind and I blocked them out. To continue with the flower metaphor, Keats says that he cannot see what flowers are at my feet. I relate this to my focus on the serpents even though I am surrounded by flowers. I feel so consumed by a longing for something else that I cant immediately see the beauty of what is happening right now (Franzi, Nostalgia Letter). Last semester I called my mom and told her how I felt about Austin, or college in general, whichever it was that it was making me feel the way I was. She reminded me that my feelings, or the voice I hear this passing night was heard in ancient days by emperor and clown (Keats) and many other college freshmen from years back. This corridor of time that she created for me made me step back and see the big picture and allowed a bit of comfort to the situation. Time is the best medicine, but also the hardest. There is no catalyst, you just have to wait out the long and winding road (The Beatles, The Long and Winding Road. Keats & Nostalgia As Franzi indicated in her project, all humans feel a longing, a yearning, a desire for the world or the life or the feeling that sometimes seems to be just past our fingertips. When I read the beginning pages of the anthology and saw the suicide prevention article, I noted the articles statement that the transition to college can cause temporary depression. I think wed all agree on that. Nostalgia, Im beginning to believe, is like the eulogy in a funeral: in the midst of our mourning for the people and places that have passed away from us, we memorialize and glorify the seemingly deceased. Just as we remark on fond memories and positive attributes of our loved one, nostalgia frames for us a picture of the place weve left in terms of how wed like to remember it. I think Keats agreed with this he wasnt afraid to feel the bittersweet longing of nostalgia. His charge to Bare your faces of the veil; / Let me see; and let me write / Of the day, and of the night seems, to me, a charge to flee pretenses and false appearances of fortitude and courage. Sometimes we have to just admit that were human. Sometimes we have to hurt, because hurting is the first step in healing. Dancing music, music sad, / Both together, sane and mad can coexist. In fact, I think they feed off one another. Catchy songs that make you feel good are often chart-toppers for a few weeks. It seems that every summer a great pop song comes out and everyone sings it on their way to the beach. But when you stop to think about it, which songs are the ones that last? That stir our souls? The ballads. The songs which, sometimes broken, sometimes tearful, speak truthfully about pain and longing. Now, we non-emo kids cant spend out lives listening to sad songs I dont think that would get us very far. We need both types of music dancing and sad, sane and mad. We need to feel pain, but we also need to dance. My theory about nostalgia rests on the idea of death emotional death, or death portrayed in transitions such as moving, or break-ups, or growing together or apart. Semisonic was on to something when they said that Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end. Were attracted to the sweet things in life beauty, joy because of how they make us feel. But, if were honest, isnt there also a part of us that resists the good things? Thats wary of them? Thats hesitant to accept them? She dwells with BeautyBeauty that must die; And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh, Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips: Keats knew that the good we find on earth fades away. He saw the transient splendor of a beautiful woman and understood that one day she too would not only be wrinkled, she would also be deceased. Beauty, we understand, is neither permanent nor truly satisfactory. Pleasures here please us only a short time. When are we every truly satisfied with the sight of a beautiful person or a fun evening with friends or a great book? You see the beautiful man or woman, but upon seeing them, your impulses drive you to either physical or emotional interaction or both; you enjoy the dinner and conversation, but eventually you have to depart and get some sleep; the book speaks to the very core of your heart, but its story trickles over only so many pages. The good things we have here, those which we taste and see and feel, dont last forever. Earth leaves us no choice but to long for what weve had and to anxiously await the next pleasure which will temporarily abate the longing. Nostalgia, it seems, is our reaction to this longing it is the attribution of our eagerness to be pleased to the sense of loss we feel when the things which ought to please us prove unable to do so. Nature and Permanence Nature is a beautiful connection that links us with times long forgotten. Compared to the 4.5 billion year history of the earth, our lives are merely ephemeral moments. Yet all throughout the reading, I had the distinct sense that we are somehow connected to the past and each leaving our own unique marks in the timelessness of nature. Just writing this entry brings me a sense of nostalgia, though without the melancholy that many of us associate with it. Just last week, I was sitting on my bed at home, on a brightly colored comforter of lovely spring flowers, writing my first journal entry. Though it seemed like so long ago, I couldn't help but notice that my memory of that moment is so closely connected to where I was at the time. The sense of place in nostalgia is much more poignant than I would've ever expected. This very phenomenon offers a telling perspective of our connection with nature and time. As I savored every last moment of home in the final days of winter break, I kept telling myself, "This house will always be here. My room and the family that I love so much will be here waiting for me. There is no reason for me to get hung up on homesickness." This is the mantra that I hope will get me through the bouts of nostalgia and is so well captured by Tennyson in In Memoriam: "But in my spirit will I dwell, / And dream my dream, and hold it true; / For tho' my lips may breathe adieu, / I cannot think the thing farewell" (A406). He expresses the realization that nature and place are ever changing, but also holds it to a certain sense of permanence as captured by the speaker's memory. Although nature is never stagnant- "They melt like mist, the solid lands, / Like clouds they shape themselves and go"- it still allows us to reach out and connect with times of long ago (Tennyson A406). "By this tenuous thread of living protoplasm, stretching backward into time, we are linked forever to lost beaches whose sands have long since hardened into stone" (Eisley A407). Although we're only here for a brief time and nature is ever-changing, places will always be the same in our memories; they gain permanence through nostalgia. Likewise, nature preserves our existence by changing and reflecting the influence of all who've experienced it. It is so that the memories of nature and the footprints marking our presence become timeless. "Never again would birds' song be the same. / And to do that to birds was why she [Eve] came." -Robert Frost, "Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same" The healthiest, most 'emotionally intelligent' way to approach nostalgia is to keep in mind that the import of your memories lies in the fact that they are unique to you. No one else in the world has the same scraps of memories as you. They inhabit only your brain, and they are, I think, a form of creativity. So that's part of what's valuable about memories--they are one of the few possessions that no one else can use. When looking back on the past, taking stock of your memories, it could be helpful to ask yourself, Who, if not I, for questing here hath power? (Thrysis, A481). Your memory is one of the few places you can go to be completely undisturbed, your own portable history museum. I wish that I could keep that in mind and really claim my memories and be entirely selfish about them. It seems healthy to be proud and overprotective of them. A memory is far better than any material souvenir--plus, it's free. Depending on how I quest, figuratively, through my old stomping grounds, my present and future are influenced. I can see where I fell and know not to try going down that hazardous road again. This sounds horribly cheesy, but I feel like I am empowered by my memories because they help me fight my own naivete and stupidity. HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5818&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Nostalgia Enter your contribution here and/or on webspace. Check out Franzi's initiation of the discussion at HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia.htm"http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia.htm And of course experience to the fullest Keats's poems, especially those I sent out by email. The white knight Number of Messages: 53 [17] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5946&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence: 31-43; 98-135 Number of Messages: 43 [27] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5947&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Nostalgia In Lit. from Last Semester? review for nostalgia: 379 (Spring); A399-407 (In Memoriam + Eiseley); A475-488 (Thyrsis); A515 Medievalism; vs. 202-5 (Pater)? etc. etc. Number of Messages: 19 [5] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5948&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"COLLEGE LIFE COLLEGE LIFE: Wordsworth at Cambridge: compare to Charlotte at an American college. Read A206-221; WOLF 237-255. Review Jude the Obscure; Zuleika Dobson; the Alice books; A174-195; A658-663 Number of Messages: 40 [1] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5949&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"I.Q. and E.Q. I.Q. and E.Q., focusing on Darwin, Arnolds Buried Life + Rabinowitz. Read 31-43; 98-133; 175-183; 197-199; 256. Review Jan. 18 + J20; A654-657. Number of Messages: 29 [12] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5950&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Wuthering Heights I Wuthering Heights chs. 1-17 Number of Messages: 20 [5] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5952&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"CREATIVITY: Isolation vs. Collaboration CREATIVITY: 22-23; 26; 29-43; 68-98; 136; 184-196; 217; 288; review 137; 204-5; 256-276; A672-683 Number of Messages: 21 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5953&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"THE DISAPPEARANCE OF GOD? THE DISAPPEARANCE OF GOD? 142; 154-174 Number of Messages: 24 [7] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5954&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"THE PATTERN OF CONVERSION THE PATTERN OF CONVERSION: 175-196 Number of Messages: 11 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5955&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Saved by Work? Drugs? Eros? LOTOS EATERS; ROMANTIC LOVE: 148-153; 200-203 Number of Messages: 23 [5] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5956&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry" Project 3A Project 3A POST Number of Messages: 153 [126] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5958&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"WUTHERING HEIGHTS II CHS. 18-34 Number of Messages: 15 [2] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5959&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Victorian Architecture in Austin LITTLEFIELD HOUSE, drawing, etc. Read A510-513; A339-367; A514-550; A625-633; review 218-228. Consider: Are these buildings True to Nature? Are they True to Nature in Ruskins sense of the words? Can the influence of Ruskins essay be detected in these buildings? Can you find his six features of Gothic in them? What sentences are illustrated by what features? What sentences are contradicted by what features? Number of Messages: 12 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5960&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Origins in France FRENCH GOTHIC: read A568-582; REVIEW ALL THE READINGS AND QUESTIONS FOR FEB. 24, including ANTIMODERNISM, 218-228, A510-513; A339-367; A514-550; A625-633. Then check out Amiens cathedral via the internet below and compare it to the Littlefield House and answer the questions, Are these buildings True to Nature? Are they True to Nature in Ruskins sense of the words? Can the influence of Ruskins essay be detected in any of these buildings? Can you find his six features of Gothic in them? What sentences are illustrated by what features? What sentences are contradicted by what features? Internet sites for this assignment: HYPERLINK "http://www.learn.columbia.edu/Mcahweb/index-frame.html"http://www.learn.columbia.edu/Mcahweb/index-frame.html HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/fr/Amiens/"http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/fr/Amiens/ + OR, write a journal entry about antimodernism, medievalism, Gothic, Pugin, or Hugo Number of Messages: 15 [1] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5961&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"IMAGE OF THE FEMALE IN MEDIEVAL FRANCE IMAGE OF THE FEMALE: A551-567 Internet sites for this assignment: HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E320M/Adams.html"http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E320M/Adams.html HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/603/medievalarch.htm"http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/603/medievalarch.htm Number of Messages: 16 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5962&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"JANE EYRE I JANE EYRE: read 277-287 + CHS. 1-13 Number of Messages: 12 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=5967&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry" VESTIGES OF GOTHIC at U.T. INSPIRED BY OXFORD? review Feb 25-Mar 3 and sections on Gothic in A222-299 + Woolf and cite pics at HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/oxford/"Oxford see also HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/images/arch/Vestiges.html"Vestiges of Gothic at U.T.  and HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/images/arch/collegiateGothicetc/"American collegiate Gothic Number of Messages: 14 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6232&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"GOBLIN MARKET = Grotesques read 204-205; A583-594; J 343-358 C. Rossetti, Goblin Market review Mar. 3 Number of Messages: 13 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6233&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Browning and the Grotesque The Grotesque in Poetry: Bagehot and Browning; read 204-217; 354-358; review A684-685 Number of Messages: 10 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6234&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Religious Medievalism 288-298 Number of Messages: 16 [1] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6235&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"JANE Eyre II JANE EYRE: read CH. 14-27 Number of Messages: 17 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6236&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry" P4A POST P4A POST Number of Messages: 168 [82] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6237&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry" role of nature in Wuthering Heights + Jane Eyre role of nature in Wuthering Heights + Jane Eyre reviewA441-458 and your 603A personal pastoral essay Number of Messages: 4 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6238&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"GAWAIN read all of Gawain + 137-141+and check out HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/oxford/Gawain/Gawain.html"http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/oxford/Gawain/Gawain.html All contributions to the Discussion Board must be answers to this Discovery Learning Question: Why Does the Poem End With The Phrase "Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense"? (This phrase became the motto of the highest order of English knighthood) Use at least two separate quotations (with line numbers), from the poem, in the original Middle English, to support your argument. You cannot use quotations used by previous contributors to the Discussion Board. -12 if these conditions are not met. Number of Messages: 18 [1] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6239&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"role of nature in literature role of nature in Wuthering Heights + Jane Eyre+Gawain reviewA441-458 and your 603A personal pastoral essay MAY NOT REPEAT QUOTES FROM role of nature in Wuthering Heights + Jane Eyre I Number of Messages: 1 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6240&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry" OXFORD UNION MURALS/ PRB OXFORD UNION MURALS/ PRB read J 299-327; 359-380 Number of Messages: 6 [All] HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6241&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Pre-Raphaelite Art Pre-Raphaelite Art 328-342, 359-389 Number of Messages: 3 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6242&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"JANE EYRE III JANE EYRE CH. 28-38 At least two quotes must be from chapters 28-38 and not have been used by anyone else earlier in the Discussion Board. -12 if these requirements are not met. Number of Messages: 13 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6243&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"UNITY read 390-391 review A858-881 Number of Messages: 7 All read HYPERLINK "http://courses.utexas.edu/bin/common/msg_list.pl?pk1=6440&sos_id_pk2=1&mode=forum&context=default&nav=discussion_board_entry"Nostalgia Soundtrack Bruce Springsteen, Glory Days Pink Floyd, Time Beatles, Yesterday Don McLean, American Pie Paul Simon, Under African Skies Rolling Stones, Ruby Tuesday Jeff Buckley, Last Goodbye? 2 flaming lips songs: "all we have is now" and "do you realize" in my life, the beatles--i know the 2nd part isn't really nostalgic, but the 1st is think that a good one is "Sincerely, Me" by Better Than Ezra Another good one is "Old College Avenue" by Harry Chapin or, "wishing you were somehow here again" from the phantom of the opera "Winds Of Change" by the Scorpions. The content of the song needs no explanation. Whistling so sad and melancholy. Reminds me of going to the public pool with my family and taking swimming lessons when I was but a wee little boy. "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd. While this song actually deals with Roger Watters drifting in and out of consciousness at the doctor's office while getting treatment for herpes. He remembers things from the past and is an altogether great song. Talks about childhood memories. And someone asked for the album to end on a happy note to which I suggest "Long December" by the Counting Crows. Adam Duritz drives around California talking with friends about the past year, admonishes himself for not cherishing his time, and in the end looks forward to the promise of a new year. This goes well with our theme of nostalgia and freshman anxiety and should help to pull us to the otherside of the discussions. We've lingered long enough on those sad things. It's time to move on. Na nana na Na nana nana nana naaa naaa Na nana naaaa yaaaah. (The sing along at the end is so triumphant too). I also have to add "Once in a Lifetime" by the Talking Heads. "You may find yourself living in a shotgun SHELL/You may find yourself in another part of the world/You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile/You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife/You may ask yourself; Well...How did I get here? Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down Letting the days go by/water flowing underground Into the blue again/after the money's gone Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground" And the song gets better and better from there, but I'll let you look those up yourself. Sadly, the Dixie Chicks butchered this song... but "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks.... sigh. Jim Croce, "Time in a Bottle" Bruce Springsteens Glory Days I had a friend was a big baseball player back in high school He could throw that speedball by you Make you look like a fool boy Saw him the other night at this roadside bar I was walking in, he was walking out We went back inside sat down had a few drinks but all he kept talking about was Chorus: Glory days well they'll pass you by Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye Glory days, glory days Well there's a girl that lives up the block back in school she could turn all the boy's heads Sometimes on a Friday I'll stop by and have a few drinks after she put her kids to bed Her and her husband Bobby well they split up I guess it's two years gone by now We just sit around talking about the old times, she says when she feels like crying she starts laughing thinking about Chorus My old man worked 20 years on the line and they let him go Now everywhere he goes out looking for work they just tell him that he's too old I was 9 nine years old and he was working at the Metuchen Ford plant assembly line Now he just sits on a stool down at the Legion hall but I can tell what's on his mind Glory days yeah goin back Glory days aw he ain't never had Glory days, glory days Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight and I'm going to drink till I get my fill And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it but I probably will Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of, well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister but boring stories of glory days Chorus (repeat twice) Nostalgia, n. O. E. D. [< post-classical Latin nostalgia (J. Hofer Dissertatio Medica de Nostalgia, oder Heimwehe (1688)) < ancient Greek return home (see NOSTOS n.) + - -ALGIA, after German Heimweh HEIMWEH n. Cf. French nostalgie (1759), Italian nostalgia (1764).] 1. Acute longing for familiar surroundings, esp. regarded as a medical condition; homesickness. Also in extended use. 1756 tr. J. G. Keyssler Trav. I. xix. 141 At least it is thus Scheuchzer endeavours to vindicate the nostalgia, pathopatridalgia, or the heimweh, i. e. home-sickness, with which those of Bern are especially afflicted. 1770 J. BANKS Jrnl. 3 Sept. (1962) II. 145 The greatest part of them [sc. the ship's company] were now pretty far gone with the longing for home which the Physicians have gone so far as to esteem a disease under the name of Nostalgia. 1780 J. THACHER Mil. Jrnl. (1823) 242 Many perplexing instances of indisposition,..called by Dr. Cullen nostalgia or home sickness. 1818 S. SMITH Wks. (1867) I. 250 What a dreadful disease Nostalgia must be on the banks of the Missouri. 1842 J. WILSON Christopher North I. 57 That pond has..about half-a-dozen trouts, if indeed they have not sickened and died of Nostalgia. 1877 S. J. OWEN in Marquess of Wellesley Select. Despatches Introd. p. xlv, One who was to spend so much of his life in the East..should not be hampered by ties and habits calculated..to foster nostalgia. 1937 W. S. MAUGHAM in Hearst's Internat. Mag. July 166/1 Some of the convicts..had such a nostalgia for France that they went mad with melancholy. 1986 J. NAGENDA Seasons of T. Tebo III. iii. 131 He opened the curtains... The clear light gave him a sudden pang of nostalgia for Africa. 2. a. Sentimental longing for or regretful memory of a period of the past, esp. one in an individual's own lifetime; (also) sentimental imagining or evocation of a period of the past. 1900 Amer. Jrnl. Sociol. 5 606 It is reason and convenience that lure him [sc. man] from the time-hallowed; it is nostalgia that draws him back. 1928 A. WAUGH Nor Many Waters vi. 231 He pictures with a sense of nostalgia, too acute almost to be endured, all that marriage to Marian would have meant. 1933 D. GARNETT Pocahontas xx. 234 Seeing all these things again filled her heart with that violent sentimental nostalgia..felt by the very young about the very recent past. 1959 Observer 8 Feb. 7/5 Nostalgia for one's childhood does not necessarily mean that the childhood was a happy one. 1995 Independent 12 May 21/5 VE Day became national nostalgia for a lost national connectedness. b. Something which causes nostalgia for the past; freq. as a collective term for things which evoke a former (remembered) era. Cf. MEMORABILIA n. 1976 P. DE VRIES I hear Amer. 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>dyJQ!'WY&tz06g::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@O.O.P;O.O.7fglnopqrwyz{|}~@ @@@@>A(>A,>@.>@0>@2>A4>A>>AB>AD>AF>@H>@J>@L>@N>@@UnknownGTimes New Roman5Symbol3 Arial7 VerdanaUMVerdana-ItalicVerdana 1h#"$|"d4h`i*+'An Effort to Resist the Passing of Time Jerome Bump Jerome Bump >,>.>0>4>6>B>D>F>H>J>P>R> hi*+hi*+hi*+0JmHnHuhi*+jhi*+0JU hi*+0J / =!"#$%` gjbjbBddgtءءء8|p#DD`"ƧƧƧƧƧƧ*,,,,,,,÷RXƧƧƧƧƧX  !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~*ƧƧ9***ƧƧƧ**dƧ****8 Ǿءx**O0****p#p#d?b?p#p#bNovember 4, 2004 Dear Brian, You know how sometimes, when youre around the right people, and the mood and the conversation are just right, you know exactly what you think about something and how to say it? But if you dont write it down right away, you lose it again, like snow in Texas. Thats how I felt when you were visiting a few weeks ago. The three of us were sitting outside under a sort of canopy by the Alumni Center near Waller Creek in the middle of the night. It was lit at first, but the lights went off eventually. We were left in darkness, except for three lit trees about fifteen feet away from us. I had a fleeting grasp of a metaphor, or maybe of that sense of unity with the rest of the world. For the briefest of moments, I was fully able to penetrate the barrier which space put between you, Ari, the trees, and myself, and to secure a momentary but complete identification with all of you.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes01.htm"1 We were those trees. At the very least, we and the trees were reflections of each other in that moment. I knew what I wanted to say right then, but Ive lost the words again. Ill have to start rebuilding from scratch. I think youve noticed that Ive been hung up on nostalgia for a few months. It started off with feeling nostalgic for last fall. That was the happiest Ive ever been, at least in the illusion that comes with looking back. I began searching for ways to evoke nostalgia. Driving on 2222 was the most powerful way, especially listening to certain songs. Music evokes past emotions better than anything for me, which makes sense, considering the well-known psychological phenomenon known as state-dependent memory: you remember better in the context where you experienced something.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes02.htm"2 Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows does this so well because I was hooked on it last fall thats probably why its my favorite song. We all want something beautiful. It makes me so happy. I feel like more of an optimist when Im listening to that song than at any other time. Believe in me / Help me believe in anything / I want to be someone who believes.HYPERLINK "http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~bump/E603/web04/Franzi/nostalgia/nostalgia_footnotes03.htm"3 Another song that evokes this nostalgic, longing, and yet somehow hopeful mood is Frou Frous Let Go, maybe because it was used in the qtu[^_[\]bch123GHMBCZ[fg >‰‚xjhi*+0JU hi*+hi*+hi*+hi*+aJjIhi*+hi*+UaJ&jHhi*+hi*+UaJ&jGhi*+hi*+UaJ&hi*+hi*+aJ*hi*+hi*+5B* aJ0ph3fjEhi*+hi*+UaJ&jhi*+hi*+UaJ&hi*+hi*+aJ&,[]^dhIMl}"$ & 0` P@1$7$8$H$a$gdi*+.DYZ[DE_`  R$a$gdi*+"$ & 0` P@1$7$8$H$a$gdi*+64R!Nef$a$gdi*+"$ & 0` P@1$7$8$H$a$gdi*+Hk)Uz#$>_"$ & 0` P@1$7$8$H$a$gdi*+_vw#O~bc$a$gdi*+"$ & 0` P@1$7$8$H$a$gdi*+FGg0>2>4>J>L>N>P>R>h]hgdi*+ &`#$gdi*+$a$gdi*+"$ & 0` P@1$7$8$H$a$gdi*+/ =!"#$%PAGE  PAGE 1